april 15th, 2005
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9:10pm

i took pooka to the animal emergency hospital.
they x rayed him but couldn't make out much.
but they were concerned that he was throwing up because he had thrown up 3 times since yesterday afternoon when he ate the string.
they said that is not a good sign.

so they are keeping him overnight where they give him this fluid which will allow them to track his intestines when they x ray him again to see if his intestines are getting "bunched up" wrong from this string. and if they are, they would have to do surgery.and they will also give him water to hydrate him and also a laxative. and then they will watch him to see if he either throws up or just passes the string the other way.
if he just continues to throw up, then they are probably going to have to do surgery on him to remove the string :(

because if the string will not come out, he could die from it because it will cut up or bunch up all his insides. many people have now told me they had a cat who died from this :(

this is going to cost about $800 at the very least. and it could run as high as $2,000 if he has the surgery :(

jason put down the $300 deposit for all of this on his credit card.
thank god i have jason who can be here to help me and has a car to take pooka to the hosptal.

i'm really glad i brought him in there. i would seriously die if pooka died right now.
i would lose my fucking mind.

this is has been a really fuct up day for me and i haven't eaten anything all day and i am just shaking.

i'm going to start a "pooka" fund in case anyone wishes to help me pay for pooka's hospital bill, 'cause god, i don't have $800 at all.
i don't even have $100.

yesterday i spent $250 on the restraining order on my mother which is now in effect, thanks to your donations on that and buying my cds, artwork, and posters!
i'm not sure if she has been served yet, i think she may have.
i called the deputy today and he was on his way to her house today.
so i'm pretty sure she has been served.

also today she posted in my friends journals and then emailed me again (before she was served)
but since the restraining order is in effect since yesterday i called the cops to tell them of her violation, as they told me i had to do if she contacted me.

well, i didn't know this involved a cop coming to my house to see the email!
so a cop came over and that was completely surreal, but it was ok and good.
but i can't type about all that because it's just too much for me right now.
but he called my mother and let her know that she can't contact me anymore or else she will be arrested.
and she says she understood this and will not contact me.
i sure hope she finally "gets it", that she cannot contact me.
i told her well in advance that if she contacted me anymore i would get a restraining order on her.
so it's not like she wasn't aware of the consequences that would happen if she continued to harrass me.

well, then as soon as he left pooka had seizure which he sometimes has about twice a year (it's inherent in the breed)
so that left me shaken up even more. but it only lasted about 2 minutes and then it was over. augh. scary. poor little poptart.

and then i typed my post to you all here about the sewing thread he ate yesterday which prompted me to immediately take pooka to the hospital.
poor little guy.
i'm sure he's really frightened.
but the people that worked there were so nice.

but it was so nervewracking, not just because i had to bring my poor little pooka in, but then right after i got there, this guy brought in this massive dog, i don't know the breed. but it didn't look good and they had to carry the dog into the surgery room because the dog collapsed. and then the man, who looked like a very "manly man" burst into tears and just sobbed very loudly the entire time i was there, because it looked like the dog might die.

this caused me to almost start sobbing to, so it was all i could do to just hold it together and i hadn't eaten anything either.

and i still have not.
i did drink a coke, so i did have some sugar, but that is all.

i'm going to pour myself a glass of wine now to calm my nerves and maybe that will make me be able to eat something.

so...this day has been absolutely nonstop nervewracking drama all day.

my entire body is just shaking.

so please pray for pooka that my litttle muffin man will be alright.

and if you'd like to donate some money to help me pay for pooka's hospital bill, i would greatly appreciate it.

i know i just asked for donations for the restraining order.
so i feel really awkward asking for more.
but i don't know what else i can do.
i seriously just don't have the money and so i have no choice but to just try and get donations.

and i will think of more things to sell, too, of course.
i have more things i can sell.

here is one way you can donate money to the pooka fund is to go here:
http://www.ana2.com/anamart/

and buy your self a nonrecurring gift membership to ana2.

i wish to god i had paypal so i could accept donations of just a dollar or something. fucking a. i'm so sad my paypal was shut down :/

i can also take money orders and cheques

made out to:

"who is rachael olson?" (yes, that is the name of my business)

and send to

ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175

i can send you something back in return like cds or artwork....

i can't think of what more to say right now.
i'm just so exhausted and such a wreck.
all of this has been so emotionally exhausting to me, i cannot even put it into words.

and please pray for my little pookadog. he is such a sweet being of love and light.
he's just a tiny little puffin of 100% love. my little poofin hoover. god, i'll stop typing now or i'll start crying...
so light a candle for him tonight and send him positive energy and love because he needs it right now.

5:18pm

another truly bizarre stressful day.
but not AS stressful because things are actually being done, legally, now to stop it.

my mom posted in one of my friends journals 2 times today.
she does this because she knows i will see it and it will bother me.

she said she is receicing threatening emails by people who call themselves "kiitos" and "thingie"
but i know both of these friends of mine would never do that.
so it's either someone pretending to be my friends OR she is just making all of this up and she is not receiving any threatening emails.

i have no idea what is being SAID in these emails. of all the threatening emails she said she has gotten over the years, she never has once said what the content of these emails are, nor has she shown the email addreses for which these are coming from. she just says nothing about that and never shows any evidence that she is getting these.

so, i don't know if she is just making this stuff up to create drama and "poor me" thing or what.
or if these emails are real.
she never has any proof.

anyway, so she posted to kiitos about that.
and then she also emailed me telling me about the threatening emails and also that i should stay away from
this particular person, i will not say who, because this person is dangerous.
and blah blah blah.

so, because they told me if i get contact from her, i have to call the deputy, i did that.
but i did not know this meant they have to come OUT to my HOUSE to see it.
so here i am all disheveled, my house a mess...and a COP is coming over.

so, like a wildwoman, i cleaned up as much as i could and was still in my pajamaas when the cop arrived.

too bad i didn't get any pix of him on my cam, but i turned it away from him, because i knew he wouldn't want to be on it.

but my house is, indeed, very interesting, and also when i had to tell him the story this lead to him being very interested in my profession.
i ended up showing him my site, my hats, and my music, and i gave him a cd of anavoog.com
which he said he will play for all the cops in my precint. ha :)

life is TOO SURREAL.

but he loved my art and stuff and said over and over i should make a book. and i'm like, i know, i will someday.

so, after that was all done and i printed out a copy of my mom's latest email for him to have and had shown him what my mom posted in kiitos journal (those posts from my mom are now screened)
he said he would call my mom right away and tell her to stop doing what she is doing or he will come and arrest her.

!!

at the same time, i called the deputy on his cell phones who is making his rounds today with restraining orders
like a pizza delivery man. and i asked him if he would call me today once he had served my mom. and he said he would. he said he would try and serve her today.

so now i am anxiously awaiting a phone call from him.

but now that this OTHER cop called my mom and informed her about this restrainng order, i wonder if she will avoid the door when the deputy arrives at her house today to try and get out of being served?

arrrgh! i know this is all out of my control.

but please everyone pray/visualize, whatever you can that my mom answers the door today when the deputy comes and serves her. please please please.

i need all the positive energy i can get to make this be so!

god, i hope she is served today!

she has to be! it is so!

i'm on pins and needles waiting to see what will happen.

i hope this deputy calls me even if he is unable to serve her because she won't answer the door.
but i take that thought out of "the law"!

today my mom is served by the deputy!
today my mom is served by the deputy!
today my mom is served by the deputy!

she has answered the door and the restraining order is in her hands
she has answered the door and the

---

ok, good grief i couldn't even finish that sentence because right them pooka had a seizure!
so i had to go comfort him through that :/
sometimes he has those, but they are rare.
it's part of the breed. they are prone to seizures sometimes :(

something i wrote in lj:

a weird and gross question.

the other day pooka ate a bunch of thread. he got the spool off my sewing machine.
i'm not sure how much of it he ate. he didn't eat the spool, just the thread (WHY does he do this??)
it's now starting to come out of him *gross*

do you think he will be ok?
is there anything i can give him to help speed up the process of this thread going through him?
like feed him some sesame oil or something?
is there anyway this could be dangerous and i should bring him to a vet?
do you think this will just pass through him eventually with no problems?

do you think i should call a vet?

he seems fine and not in pain. he just has diarreah *augh*

should i feed him or not feed him?
which would work best?

i can't call a vet right now because i am waiting for a very important phone call and do not have call waiting so i have to stay off the phone.

+++

edit:

ok i used jason's phone to call the vet.
they close in 15 minutes
but the vet is going to call me back
it sounds like i am going to have to take pooka in for surgery somwhere.
fuck.

i can't even tell you how fuct a day this has been.

 

5:00am

still up

tired/wired/

think i will be going to sleep any minute now truly!

 

2:15am

right now, i am really happy with my decision.
i feel this sense of peace and strength.
even if she contests it and i have to go back, i feel confident i will still be protected by the law.
i am so happy this is over or almost over.
this has been such a burden to me for years and years now.
so much of my energy has been drained and focused on her and battling this.
it is now ended or coming to an end.
i feel partly renewed, reborn, more safe.
this could change tomorrow, but right now i am so damn happy i did this.
i need my life back.
and i took it back.
fuck ya.

FUCK YA!

thank you universe and friends for supporting me.
thanks for listening me work through this and bitch about this for the past 5 years or however long it's been.
thanks for sticking by me.

i am so happy right now. sadness is mixed in.
but i need to relish this sense of peace about this right now.
i can't out it into words, once again.

it's really going to end, for real. it really is or maybe already has.
i just have to wait the 45 days.

but it's going to be alright.

+++

Horoscope for Aries (April 15 2005)

Money will come and go because of temptations that keep you cash-poor. Talk to someone who can give you solid financial advice. The more knowledgeable you are, the easier it will be to budget for your future.

and

Physical passion
This influence arouses a strong attraction to and desire to be with someone. You will be much more aggressive than usual in going out and finding a partner. This influence is often a sign of physical passion. Under this influence a sexual relationship is very satisfying to both partners. Even without sex, you will be very happy with other people. You feel more vivacious and attractive than usual and may well be the life of the party. You will work hard to gain the approval of others during this time, so strong is your need for affection. Artistic activity is also indicated, for the general significance of this influence is self-expression through creativity and love.