february 23rd, 2005
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paris

warning: small rant.

alright, i know you all (mostly) are sick of seeing paris hilton.
so ok, she chose to go out a few nights without underwear on and the parasitic (no pun intended) paparazzi caught a few "flashes" of that.
whatever.
so she made a tv show that ADULTS approved of and deemed FINE and ENTERTAINING and that YOU WATCHED, bitching all the way.

and so, according to the media (which you can't go by, alway, i'm hoping), we should all be seething hatred at paris amd screaming happiness at her cell phone being hacked into and making celebrities lives miserable. yay!
NOT.

get OVER your own insecurities. stop blaming celebrities for you own inadequacies (that the media has brainwashed u into)

my last straw was years ago, and as i see my boyfriend recoil in horror at every "simple life" advertisement (as if they have any control over that although i do not fully absolve them from it...still...which is worse paris or mass murderers like GEORGE BUSH?)...but i must point out that my boyfriend doesn't only dislike her just for her show but also because he doesn't see her as being the nicest of human beings 100% of the time (but who is?), and to that extent i agree with him...but what "bad" she has done isn't even a blip on the radar to "evil".

tonight i saw conan o'brien (i had regarded him as a smart man until now, we do share the same birthday) bitching about paris bitching about her crotch not wanting to be shown. he was like "paris not wanting her crotch to be shown? puh-leeez!" as if paris had WANTED her crotch to be shown in the way it has been shown.
asshole media behaviour!

i will not stand for it. i won't. i will even stand by paris in this (oh, how UNCOOL of me. whatever).

celebrities aren't there for you to build up and then shoot down. they didn't "sign up" to be on some ass show called "celebrities without makeup" or whatever this new show is called for you to laugh at. they aren't "asking for it" anymore than YOU are and all the mistakes and ungraceful movements you've ever made in your entire life as if some photographer was able to snap every photo of you eating every meal you were ever STUPID enough to eat in a place a photgrapher could get to).
i'm not saying it's not beneficial for "the masses" to see "the stars" as regular unglamourous human beings (a huge point of my entire cam project as you saw me on international media and then sleep on my couch) . i think it is very valuable for "the masses" to see their "god like celebrities" living as "normal people' (as they are!), but let them make the CHOICE to participate!
and i'm sure many of them would have clamoured on this idea (as jamie lee curtis did)

people. EVOLVE! so that you do not have to hurt people to make yourselves feel better.
because THAT is uncool.

as if paris planned her "sex tape" to be released and so if some other assfuck releases any other cootchie photos of her, SHE is somehow to blame for the "over saturation" of the "market" and deemed a whore for it. AUGH! *scream times infinity*.

i don't give a shit whether or not you like paris, what she does, or what she stands for...
who. fucking. cares. ok, so she isn't axactly the einstein of the age. so???
but that doesn't give anyone the right to abuse her when she has done nothing wrong.

evolve!
you don't need to put other people down to make youself feel more powerful!

+++

cindy sherman

thoughout me having my cam, so many people have told me that i remind them of cindy sherman.
so, every time i go google her work to check her out, i don't think we have that much in common at all.
i don't dislike her work at all, from what i've seen, but so far i haven't seen anything that has made me want to find out more about her.

am i missing something?
can someone point me in the direction of her best work?
and would someone explain to me why i keep getting compared to her besides the fact that we are both women who do self portraits?

(and i'm NOT trying to bash another female artist in order to dsitinquish myself...i have seen that happen too many times and i loathe it).

+++

so, the stupid email of the day would be from a "woman" who is upset at me for banning her from photocontest because she insulted a person's crooked teeth then telling my to lay off. she eloquently says:

+++

On Wed, 23 Feb 2005 23:32:11 -0500, Alicia Johnson
wrote:
You BANNED me from the photocontest community.
Why is that, may I ask?
My user name is -----*deleted*
Seriously, though. I got a comment from someone that my comment was
rude. I immediately reconsidered it, even though I NEVER meant it to
be rude, and deleted it, thinking that maybe my view could be seen
differently.
The person who originally commented to me kept on, and I think I used
the words "I deleted it, lay off" to her.
I have been BANNED for that?
Are you serious?
------------------------------

On Wed, 23 Feb 2005 22:36:19 -0600, ana voog wrote:
ya, the person you said "lay off" to was ME. the moderator.
i don't need people being smart asses to me in my own commmunity,
which i created and invite you into.
what you should have done is just be mature about it and apologize
straight away.
i give you credit for deleting your entry, that was good.
but you should have apologized to the photographer that you insulted
and then not been such a dick to me about me pointing out to you that
you were very rude.

(p.s. the comment was deleted after it was brought to their attention that it was rude)

------------------------------

To: ana voog from: alicia

"Bwahaha. Good fucking riddance, fuck off.

You're a piece of shit if you deleted me for sounding off against
another of your user names.

Don't EVER contact me again you fucking cocksucker. I'll never
apologize for who I am, although I'm thinking you certainly should.

Bitchasswhore.

I loathe you,

Do NOT contact me, whore."

------------------------------
p.s.
(not that i EVER contacted her in my LIFE! she contacted ME!

wow!

 

5:16pm

collages from the 1st year of anacam

 

2:59pm

i backed up my site on cd many months ago...and now i cannot find it! rrrrgh. i'm putzing around the house cleaning things here and there.
doing laundry, dishes...

1:28pm

wow, i forgot that cafepress.com also will make books for you. and even music cds! that's so cool :) and they do full colour right on the cd...not a paper label on top of the cd.

they have so many products they make now! not just the 10 things they had last time i had a store with them.

they don't have the cool metal lunchbox anymore, tho. dang.

but i should make calendars. i'll have to do that starting next year.

i wish i was a better graphics artist and had more of a handle on the best way to go about making the nicest looking products.
i really hate just slapping a square picture on things.
it's all so overwhelming to me when i have to start thinking about pixels and dpi and how to shape something so it best fits on a thing.

i wish i could pay someone to do all this for me.
and also to redesign my website.

 

1:13pm

i like that deviant art has stats:

"anavoog has 4,247 pageviews total and her 24 deviations were viewed 10,196 times"

i'm really glad i'm not paying for the bandwidth on that (well, just a very small amount as i became a subscriber).
i also have a photobucket account, but never use it because i hate how
once you've gone over your bandwidth quota on them the image doesn't show any more.

i haven't looked at the stats for anacam or ana2 in a really long time because i can't remember the password for it.

it's weird that i get so many people looking but so little comments. but i guess i am not much of a commenter either.

but it kind of sucked when i gave out the urls to people on my mailing list for my music, and then only about 3 people out of 7,000 + said anything about it. it's hard to not feel like people are taking me for granted sometimes.

but i am glad for the few people who do say something. it really means a lot. and it keeps me going.

 

1:01pm

poor jason didn't get a good night of sleep and now has to also stay late at work.
plus he worked all weekend, too. poor guy :(
so he can't excercise today with me.
and i don't think i want to go down there alone.

i wish that there was a window in my kitchen and bathroom because i need to clean both of those but i hate to leave my sunny windows to go clean these cramped and dark places.
but then if i wait until the sun goes down, then i don't want to clean them then either.
i wish i was richer and could get a housekeeper to clean them once a week. i don't understand how families keep things clean.
but looking back at my family, our house was always really clean.
my brother and i would vacuum and dust on weekends, but that can't account for much.
were my mom and dad constantly cleaning? i don't think so, i don't remember anyone constantly cleaning.
yet, things were clean. how?
was it just that we didn't have 3 dogs?

i'm going to put my face in this little patch of sunlight on my floor.

sebastian needs a haircut.
i tried to cut a big snarl behind his ear last night and , as usual, he struggled to get away, and i cut a piece of his skin by accident. i feel so bad. i sure wish he would not struggle when i cut his hair. it's such an ordeal with him.

12:17pm

rounding up a few of my old friends still.
found shannon selberg from the cows in his new band the heroine sheiks. well, not really new since they have several albums out now.
i guess he lives in NYC now.
shannon says his keyboardist is very impressed that he knows me since his keyboardist has a mad crush on me. i certainly hope it's not the keyboardist that is described as "This starling Behemoth – half Manson, half Nureyev – defies scientific classification. Like the Kodiak Bear, he is an enigma; one moment peacefully munching on clover, the next running down a moose and slaying it with one terrible blow of his mighty paw." ha :) eek!


woke up with a headache and took an excedrin. probably from that cheap wine from chile.
and every morning, if it is sunny out, my room gets REALLY hot and i have to wake up and go open my window even if it's only 20 degrees out there.

it's nice my place is so warm (sometimes), but i hate that it gets so hot in the morning that i wake up from it and have to go open a window then go back to sleep. but this time i didn't go back to sleep since i took the excedrin.

i really want to redye my hair today but i am putting it off until friday when i get together with fuzzy. 'cause we are going to go buy some bright orange for her, and then i will get some dye for me.
gonna try to find something that is red, not pink. also maybe a rusty orange and a really brought blue and a green.
i don't know what colour to have my hair. i want it every colour.

my knee is starting to get kind of fucked up from sitting on the floor and not a chair as i squat at my computer at the edge of my bed. i really need to do something about this situation before i really damage my knee in a big way. but i don't know what the solution is. but i have to come up with one.

i guess i must put some sort of chair at the foot of my bed and then i will be looking down at my monitor or something. *sigh*

sorry the journal entries and cam pictures have been so boring lately.
it's just the end of winter lackluster blues.

soon it shall be spring!

+++

Horoscope for Aries (February 23 2005)

Not everyone will be on your team, but the ones who are will work just as hard as you. You are on a quest to make it to the next level, and with all the support you are getting you should be able to reach whatever goal you set.

and

Mental or emotional?
This influence can have a variety of effects. First of all, it can stimulate your appreciation of beauty, your interest in art, music or poetry. It may also indicate that you will tell someone that you love him or her or that you will discuss your relationship with someone. This influence works primarily upon the mind rather than the feelings and is often expressed as an intellectual appreciation of beauty. However, to a considerable extent it also removes the distinctions between mental and emotional. You may experience concepts with great emotional feeling or express emotions in an intellectual manner. The area in which feeling and intellect can best be synthesized is in the arts. Thus you are much more receptive than usual to experiences through art.