| february
10th, 2005 |
||
stream of consciousness:
no poetry in that
flash in the pan pumpernickle
bleeding words thoughtless actions
better you yet to take that string bar and strangle yourself with it high
and mighty queen of denial
muckfaced jackass your psychological warfare fuckery fantastic bombs and delicate
razorblades leave me in shackshuckled pile of heap.
you've got me on the monkey bar with you in a headlock.
not somewhere i wanted to be but i still haven't brought on the big guns so
beware
just seeing you bound there by your own self worthlessness makes me sick
pathetic old cow thinks she's a bird and flies into windows seething
uncontrollable shaking from afar not even a won on the richter scale
shell shocked and dazed amazed at your tomfoolery. have another drink and
sink.
wearing my nipple ring as if that brings me closer to you. it is sad that
is all you have.
your nanobots struggle to adapt. and infiltrate.
everyone will leave you in the end because all you care about is you.
no poetry in that.
+++
the minnesota historic society:
thiings jason found there, my 1st single and my 1st EP:
now and we are the garden at the minnesota historical society
also from there, some shows i played:
1. Robyn Hitchcock/Blue Up, 03/26/1986.
2. Neats/The Blue Up?/Fontanas, 05/15/1987
3. Bob Mould Band/Ultra Vivid Scene/Blue Up, 10/10/1990
4. Blue Up?/Wahinis/Glow, 11/25/1991.
5. Blue Up/Flood/Wahinis/Sorry I Came, 05/29/1992.
6. Blue Up?/Glow/Rex Daisy/Fruit Jar Stackers, 06/24/1992.
7. Rifle Sport 10th Anniversary Party: Rifle Sport/Mighty Mofos/Man Sized Action/Dragnet/Brick Layer Cake/Soul Asylum/Arcwelder/Red Letter Day/Blue Up/Mickey Finn/Superball '63/DFC, 06/26/1992.
8. The Blue Up/Big Red Ball/Romulans/Heavens
to Murgatroid, 11/05/1992.
9. Four Band Showcase: Blue Up?/Surahoolies/Terry Walsh and 2AM/Uncle Was,
12/28/1992.
10. Four Band Showcase: The Blue Up/Mickey Finn/Big Red Ball/Balloon Guy,
03/10/1993.
11. Catacombs Record Showcase: The
Blue Up?/Lisa Wooster/Fauna/Polka Roadie, 04/14/1993.
12. Blue Up?/Surahoolies/Speed of Rain/Octopus, 06/11/1993.
13. Blue Up?/Everclear/Colfax Abbey/Camel's Back, 11/26/1994.
14. Stephen T. McClellan's 45th Birthday:
The Blue Up?/Lisa Wooster/Everthread/Whoops Kitty, 03/22/1995.
Blue Up?/Stunt Man/Guffs/Panda, 09/11/1995.
9:13pm
went on the treadmill of 1/2 an hour.
then went to jason's and ate dinner and watched "i, robot" which
was a lot better than i thought it would be. very cool looking movie, too!
then watched the apprentice and now i'm home.
nice to have a mellow relaxing day.
i can't help but think about how much i want to do that cam show over again.
not really a show but making the photos with my digital camera so you can
really see the detail i wanted to convey.
maybe i'll do that in the next few days
if anyone logged the chat, please let me know!
4:33pm
what in the freaking heck?
it just did it again. i turn on my koolkam to capture the cam in the thing
room.
cams 1 and 2 then work just fine. i get done in the thing room and i come
back and shut off koolkam...but this also shuts off my chillcam (which was
the bedroom cam)
when i turn the chillcam back on, it's showing the cam from the thing room!
WTF???
i go into the configuration to click it over the the other video capture card
and it only shows that i have one, not 2 video capture cards.
so all i can do to get the bedroom cam back is take the cords that connect
both my cams to my computer and switch them, and voila, the bedroom cam is
back on chillcam.
WTF??? does that make ANY sense at ALL?
jason's home so i'm going off to the treadmill now.
3:03pm
to anyone who was in the
chat last night, did anyone log it,
and if so could you email me the log to anavoog at gmail dot com?
thanks!!
1:04pm
last night was really difficult for
me, picture taking wise.
it was also very much fun! but making the pictures was so hard because i could
not really see what i was doing at all,
and i could not tell when the picture had been taken, so all i could do is
pose awhile and then hope it went through.
i monitored it a bit from the small computer i had in there, but the big cam
takes up more than the monitor screen so i was never able to see the entire
photos i was making.
and i could not get the lighting right at all! so many photos of me came out
too dark and you can't see what i wanted you to see.
and then i had problems with running the koolcam (which was my bedrooom cam)
and also the chillcam which was the sepia toned showcam in the thing room.
all of a sudden the koolkam would switch video capture cards with the chillcam
so that the bedroom cam all of a sudden was the show cam. so i'd have to run
back into the bedroom and try to make them be on the correct video capture
cards...but the chillcam would only see that there was ONE (not 2) video capture
devices) for some inexplicable reason, so i could then have to reboot my computer.
and then that wouldn't work either, so i'd just have to unplug both cams from
my computer and switch the cords so that one was plugged into the other (i
don't know if you are following me but i don't know how to explain it better
than that). now that seems just illogical, but then it would work again.
this happened to me twice during the show which really threw off my "vibe"
i was trying to create.
and just now, as i am looking through the photos, i am really disappointed
in most of them.
they look all pixelated, as if the pictures were smaller and had been stretched
bigger.
well, lo and behold i look at the configurations in my chillcam when i wake
up today, and somehow the chillcam took on the configurations i had for the
koolkam, and so indeed most of my photos WERE going out as 320 by 240 but
being stretched to 640 by 480!
so they are pixelated and that looks like crap! and so much of the detail
of what i was doing is lost! grrrrrrrrrr!
so mix that with lighting that wasn't really that great and a lot of my pictures just look like a jumble of shadow and light and you can make out a few things of what i was trying to do here and there.
*sigh*
so...well, that's what i get for
trying to have 2 cams on at once fir the 1st time and not knowing the gliches
that could happen from that.
after awhile, i just shut off the bedroom cam so things wouldn't be so screwy...but
i didn't know that the configuration of my chillcam had been changed and now
was making these pixelated photos.
live and learn. but man, i really wanted things to go right!
after the show and the chat (which was kind of hard for me to keep track of what was going on in there partly because i was so flustered and hyper about my show and partly because i'd had a few glasses of wine. i really had a super good time in chat but i don't know if i answered everyone questions, i will have to go back to the logs and see what was said. and i was so hyper i'm sure i was making typos all over the place because even when i'm NOT tipsy, i can't type for shit.
and i think i was a little bit confused that the moderator in the chatroom was asking me questions FOR the audience, i thought that the audience was going to be given a keyboard and they could type in there for themselves. maybe they were. i'll have to go back and see. it's all kind of a hyper blur.
after that, i tried to go back and do a bit more "show" but ended up just laying on the ground in exhaustion and eating the cake as i was ravished by then. and then i was overtaken by sleepiness and had to go to bed...except for one last hyper attempt and making a frankensoup.
well, i hope some of it you enjoyed!
it sounds like i did not enjoy myself, i actually really had a BLAST! i was
in a very good mood and having a lot of fun (besides the technical gliches)!
i am really just disapointed in the quality of the photos.
and i'm kind of pissed at myself
for then after ALL that, trying to make a soup, because i was still just hyper/tired
and needing to put my energy into SOMETHING (that wasn't taking photos). and
i put together such weird ingredients in this soup i don't even want to SAY
what's in there! like a jar of anchovies, for one.
just gross. but i was in one of my mad scientist mode and, at the time, putting
together the weirdest ingredients into a soup sounded like a hilarious good
idea to me.
well, now it's in the fridge and
i don't even want to look at it! bah, i'm going to have to throw it all away.
oh well!
god, i'm weird.
i'm just going to put all the pictures
up here now. whether or not they are good or bad.
and you can see for yourself the good and the bad of it.
i think i will retry my idea of what i WANTED these pictures to look like at a later date. because they're too good of ideas to just go to waste and not be tried again!
so take these photos as just rough demos of ideas of what i shall do later , at some point.
making the signs to hold up for my show:
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the show:(and eating the cake and a smoked fish afterwards, and no i wasn't really talking on the phone, etc)
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more eating cake, and the dogs eat the scraps left on the floor:
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chatting and more chatting...and some pix from ana2's smaller cam:
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++++
Horoscope for Aries (February 10 2005)
Not everyone will be up front with you about money, investments or legal matters. You will have to make your own assumptions today. Relying on someone else will be futile and result in frustration and costly mistakes.
and
You might feel as if you can say absolutely anything that's on your mind now, but this is not the case. You think that you're able to put a positive spin on your point of view, but others still may take offense with your cavalier attitude. Temper you presentation so that reality doesn't have to do it for you.
and
A monastic consciousness ***
Valid during many months: At this time you will reach a new understanding
of your own being and the world around you. In recent years you have probably
been through periods of great doubt, uncertainty and confusion. Although those
periods were painful they have contributed to your new view of the world.
Now is the time to deepen and take advantage of your new understanding. This
is an excellent time for studies that can raise your consciousness, such as
yoga, occult metaphysics, spiritualism and mysticism. Now you are able to
study these subjects and put them into practice in your everyday life. They
will not be purely intellectual or mental activities you can make them
real and useful!
At this time your own ego involvement in your activities is low. You are more
likely than at other times to act for altruistic reasons. You can devote yourself
selflessly to movements and activities that help you bring your ideas to reality.
Yet you do not feel that you are denying yourself, for everything you do seems
to be a logical expression of what you are.
Your ideals are not in conflict with
the realities in your life at this time. They are in creative balance, with
the ideal giving form and the real giving life. Your approach is one of calm
sober reflection. This is not a time of lightness and gaiety; instead it produces
an almost monastic consciousness that contemplates the world with detachment