| february
2nd, 2005 |
||
10:28pm
watched the 1st drunken master movie.
that has got to be the weirdest movie ever.
like some 3 stooges felini sadmasocistic chinese kung fu comedy torture thing.
BIZARRE!
i'm in a better mood than i was. and i made it to the treadmill.
working on the hat.
i didn't watch the damn state of the union address. because i know all it
would have done is upset me.
4:35pm
more green tea, japanese incense,
listening to dead can dance.
made a bath. jason's on his way home and then it's to the treadmill.
and then we might go to best buy and pick up my 2nd camcorder which has been
sitting there for weeks.
or we might go tomorrow.
i'm still trying everything in my power to get myself out of this anxiety
and depression. it helps to have my house 5% cleaner.
i wish i was at the ocean right now, just laying on the sand baking in the
sun drinking smoothies, listening to seagulls.
3:46pm
today i am really on edge and can't
seem to be happy about anything.
no music sounds good to me, everything seems a bit overwhelming.
i feel exhausted yet nervous energy.
so i'm channelling it into cleaning things up a bit. nothing getting really
cleaning but at least it's better than ut was and that's good. if my house
is a mess it can really affect my mood.
and if i'm in a bad mood already it can make sink into a terrible depression.
so i am fighting this atrophy with all my might and sighing and sulking and
unhappily dusting and vacuuming and picking things off the floor.
i have nothing to be nhappy about except that i am still stressed about money.
and i guess that is a big thing to be stressed about so that shouldn't be
such a mystery to me.
still, i have to just keep battling on, i refuse to give into the void of
slothfulnes and depression.
i have too many good things this month to take advantage of.
where is the universal source of energy, where do i plug in?
i need that very much.
i'm going to fight this tooth and nail to not let anything slide.
february is all about geeting shit done.
fuck this pms or depression or whatever the fuck it is.
and i'm glad that 3 people like the
collages now :)
thanks mphand :)
i'm listening to radiohead.
oh and get this...the people that
want me in their craft book wrote to me before and i didn't get that email!
and about the fashion show in may i wrote them right back about that!
and today the person in charge said hey they deadline was on monday and we
didn't hear from you!
wtf?
fuck hotmail!
i think i will just not be able to
use that anymore. i seriously have no clue how many emails i have never received
and how many people haven't received mine. and i even have a friend who is
mad at me because she keeps saying i never reply to her emails.
this really sucks!!! *sigh*
and it sucks because i've used that
hotmail one for so long now, years and years and years., everyone has it.
what a bitch to get everyone in the world to know my gmail one.
and then how reliable is gmail? is it going to fuck me over too?
i have all my windows open to let
in oxygen in here.
even tho it's making my house freezing. i need fresh air.
i need oxygen!
2:20pm
only 2 people like the collages?
or are you all gone? *meow* :(
today i MUST finish the plucky fluff
hat and that is that.
then the next day i must make it to the p.o.
then i must make t shirts for $, and hopefully some of that money can go also
to printing out some of those collages and painting on them and selling those.
and then maybe i can get caught up on bills so that i can FINALLY work on
the music thing.
and then ya, the hat show in may..how to fit that in and make stuff for that...
and asked to be part of another book, this crafty book thing. details later.
but that's cool :)
i guess i'll go make some green tea now and hope that kicks the grogginess
out of me.
i feel very anxious lately.
too many irons in the fire, not enough energy, but thankful so very much for
all these opportunities and i want to take full advantage of them all.
i need to get plugged into the universal energy grid!
listening to belle and sebastian and stereolab
4:29am
i went collage making bezerk!
and these are just some of the photos from 2004 and a bit from 2003, i could
make a zillion more.
i'm liking this feature, i should make posters of these and print them at
a printer place and sign them and sell them.
what do you think? all these
collages are shrunk down to 800 pixels. at normal size they were almost 5MB
each!
and i really want to draw and paint little things over some of them :)
i'm inspired by this :)
i've wante to make collage posters from my photos for years and years :) thanks
to jason for making me download this programme :)
it also made me happy to make these because it made me realize how much i
DO! god, i get so down on myself if i don't create for a week.
or even a month. heck,. i've created A LOT! :)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2:24pm
here's another collage (800 pixels wide):
1:29am
i downloaded this new picture browsing...thing...called
Picasa2, which jason told me about.
and i was skeptical that it was anything i wanted or needed, but it's very
cool just as he said!
for one thing, it will make collages of your photos (but it crops them). it
also will make the collages your desktop picture or will cycle through them
as a screensaver. and you can also add effects.
and it makes thumbnails of your movies.
and it will also make movies from your pictures or webpages.
so it's kind of like a cross between pink mouse image organizer and paint
shop pro.and you can email picture to people from it and even updaet your
blog on blogger. weird programme! kinda cool :)
here is one (from all my fave cam pix) . click on it and it will take you to the 800 pixels wide one:
12:00am
my horoscope: ARIES (March 21-April 19):
The website: http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com
invites its readers to carry out assignments. I have borrowed some that I
feel will help you
fulfill your destiny in the coming week. Do as many as you feel moved to do.
1. Photograph one of your scars and write about its origins.
2.Write down your most recent argument.
3. Draw a scene from a movie that made you cry.
4. Ask someone you love to describe what you do.
5. Take a picture of the sun.
6. Record your own guided meditation.
7. Hang a wind chime on a tree in a parking lot.
8. Write your life story in less than a day.