january 19th, 2005
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new anapix up!

 

2:39pm

ok, what i need to do is just clean my bedroom a bit and put on new clean sheets.
i think that will perk me up a bit. things and i feel sluggish.
out on goldfrapp's felt mountain"
i wonder if tori realized she is putting the same record out over and over again? you know what i mean? U2 does it, too, and elton john. it happens to ALMOST every musician where they fall inot this rut of putting out records that are just like their other ones but just not as good.
since this is such a wide spread occurance, you'd think that more musicians would try to keep themselves from falling into that trap.
or do they just need to pay the bills and so they can delude themselves that it is fine what they are doing and enough people love it that they think they are doing fine?
what is going on in their minds?
like do U2 really think their newest cd is just as good as any of their best material? or do they realize it's not as good but just go "well, it's the best we can do, and so we'll just put it out because some people will like it and we need to pay the bills?"
or are they thinking "THIS is our best cd we've ever made!"
i just want to know! because so many artists do this!
it makes me paranoid that this will happen to me and i won't realize it. i think i am pretty self critical and can tell when i do things that are not up to par with my best stuff. and for sure, one cannot expect anyone to just keep making brilliant art ONLY and never have a few duds or so-sos in there.
and i guess i can't expect anyone to give up what they love doing just because they are making stuff that doesn't live up to past stuff.
it would be sad to condemn them and say they don't deserve to create anymore just because of that. they are artists and they have to create and they DO have to pay the bills. except i think it's safe to say paul mccartney is just financially fine for the rest of his life. so he just does it for fun, then.
but does he realize he SUCKS now? or if he realized it, is it just that he doesn't care? is he too rich/confortable to care? he has FUN doing what he does, i'm sure. so why not keep on doing it even if it sucks?
just what is the mindset?
with bjork, i don't like her latest record as much as i like her others, but at least she had the guts to completely delve into new territory. and i have so much respect for her for doing that.
even if it's not on my constant playlist, just the fact that she went somewhere new is inspiring to me.
but most people just like to stay in their comfort zone...is that what it is?
it was just so cool to watch tori grow so much within her 1st four albums..and then...she just kind of plateaued off into a comfortzone.
and you know, who am *I* to say she can't do that?
it's her life, her art, she can do whatever she wants! i certainly want her to make what SHE wants.
but WHY does she want to keep making the same thing over and over and over again?

i've realized i do this in my photography.
there are certain themes and poses that come up over and over again.
but for me, some of those things still interest me to do. and when i line up all the similiar photos taken in different years (which i still have yet to do for you all, i just sometimes do it for myself)
then THAT becomes kind of a piece of it's own.
as in "here are 10 photos of bowls of strawberies i have taken within the last decade". and altogether that night look kind of cool. and the little differences and the similiarities are interesting to me.
or "here are photos of my eye through years 1997 through 2005".

maybe i should try that with toris songs.
make compilations of her 3 kinds of songs.
compilation of "the whimsical songs" (happy phantom, mr. zebra)
etc etc.

i don't know if that woulld work tho. because photographs to me are parts of movies (movies that you never get to see because you can't see me move). if i was going to do this with movies, also, i would make compliations of just parts of movies...for instance movies that use the famous hitchcock editing scene when a knife slams down and you think it's someone head getting chopped off maybe but it's actually just cutting into a scene of a housewife cutting a piece of meat.

so to do this with songs, you'd have to cut out little pieces of the songs...like every time puts a funny pause in a word, or sighs.
it's hard to put into words since i'm talking about sound.

this is getting harder and harder to explain now and i've lost my train of thought.
actually, whole albums are the movies, and songs are scenes in a movie.

sometimes i think of songs as like rooms in a house.
listening to a record is like touring the house and the characters and interiors within it.

i could go on and on about this but now i have a stomache ache and i need to clean my bedroom so i can get on with the song of making the pluckyfluff hat.

i understand the comfort thing.
understand wanting to live in the same house.
but i guess i don't understand building the same house over and over
but not even making it as good as the first one.
but maybe someday this will happen to me and then i will know.
maybe my next record will really suck.
i just have no idea.

but if it does, i really hope i realize it.

but i think i will. i mean, i realize spool forka dish is more of a solid record than anavoog.com
but i also realize spool forka dish was the culmination of 11 years of that kind of writing with those instruments and more time and moeny was spent on it.
whereas anavoog.com was made from a MUCH lower budget and i was moving into territory i was much more unfamiliar with, so i can cut myself some slack on that.

ok, off to clean my bedroom a bit.

2:25pm

so far heard 4 songs out of the 19 from the new tori cd.
and they are pretty much what i expected.
ate some soup.
trying to get motivated but i feel a bit depressed or something.
just not up to full speed, but i'm wayyyyyy better than i was yesterday.

12:49pm

i'm feeling much better today.
today is all about finishing pluckyfluff's hat so i can mail it to her tomorrow.
and that is that!

i didn't know tori had a new album coming out and i am trying to *ahem* find a copy.
i loved her first 4 cds religiously and after that it seemed that she made the same album over and over...
so i don't have high expectations for this one either, but i can hope :)

i want to the tori amos lj community and people are sure mean to her on there for it being a community that i would assume is for people who like her! like someone will put up a recent photo of her where she looks just fine and dandy, imo, and people will say she looks old and airbrushed and weird and maybe she got botox or something.
so so so so weird.
she looks the same to me!
people are really vicious to women who are getting older.
it creeps me out.

i must scrounge up some food now.