december 23rd, 2004
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5:26pm

i love how the light changes in my room as the sun comes up:

 

i expended so much energy yesterday , today i am just laying in bed.
i woke up at noon (went to bed at 5am)
and then laid in bed until 4pm sort of 1/2 asleep and sort of astral projecting...which was really bizarre.
i actually saw my astral hands in colour this time.
so far i have only seen them in white.
but they were transparent.
whenever i astral project i try so hard to stand up, and i just never can.
so, i finally said screw it and tried to walk on one of the walls as if the wall was the floor, but i couldn't do that either.
and then at the same time, it's like i am 1/2 awake and 1/2 asleep so things that i think are happening aren't really happening...in the physical world, at least.
like it felt like i slid off my bed and then crawled up onto my bed night stand, and i couldn't see anything, all i could do is feel where i was in my room and also hear, and i found my candle wax drippings and crunched them up in my astral hand and even rubbed them into my head.
i just do that just to see if i am really where i think i am and if i even have a body or what.
and sure enough, i swear i felt and heard the sounds of all of those actions just as real as if it had been happening physically.
in a way, the feelings and sounds were even enhanced.
it makes me know there is an astral double to everything. layers and layers and layers.
in some parallel dimension my candle drippings are all crunched up, i'm assuming.

and it's weird to say this , but a lot of times i am astral projecting, or whatever it is you want to call it "leaving my body", i get really turned on. i don't knwo what on earth is the deal with that.
i wish it wouldn't happen because it's really distracting.
a lot of other people also report feeling this way when they leave their bodies, too.

so, because i was feeling this way, i stuck my astral finger up my astral vagina (ha! i can't even believe i am writing this) and i swear to you it felt just as real as anything. except my astral body is a heck of a lot more elastci than my physical body so it felt like my fingers could, at least on an energy level, kind of travel right up my uterus and spiral into my fallopian tubes.
now THAT was interesting.

and then i tried to see if i could stick my hand anywhere in my body, like to feel all my internal organs and bones, but i couldn't.

and then it dawned on me that since this is my astral body, and therefore not "dirty" i could stick my finger up my astral ass! haha :) and so i did! and that made me have an actual orgasm and that woke back into the physical.

very weird.

well, that was my afternoon, how was yours? lol :)

then i watched oprah and had an english muffin. you know, just a normal day. ha :)

checked my email and steven severin emailed me back. yay!

but i have no energy to write anyone back today.
i'm kind of getting behind in email.

+++

Academic turns city into a social experiment
wow! read about this!

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2004/03.11/01-mockus.html

thanks unluckymonkey for the link :)

and beautiful snow crystal photographs!

http://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/photos/photos.htm

+++

it's so cold here that the "holidazzle" parade has been cancelled.
if it gets to be below 25 below zero F, they cancel it.
not that i have ever in my mylife, gone to see it.
who wants to stand in the cold to watch a parade?
not me.