december
7th, 2004 |
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6:44pm
i wish i'd get my period already!
argh!
my face is breaking out and i'm so bloated and feel so uncomfortable and ugly
:/
today was a lost day...even tho there was really good news in it...i didn't
get much done today.
i just tried to stay on top of things.
i'm trying to motivate myself to do SOMETHING before the end of this day.
but i am just kind of lost still.
5:29pm
"Luck is just opportunity meeting
preparation."
~ Andrea Nite Halley ~
i thought that tesla said that?
3:38pm
well, i have to say i am quite mystified
by my mom deleting her journal right after i post that i am going to delete
mine.
it was either a total coincidence, she is psychic, or she is spying on me
somehow.
there was no way to know that she was going to delete her journal just minutes after posting i was going to delete mine!
and so now that she has deleted hers, i guess i do not need to delete mine.
maybe the universe is looking out for me.
i was feeling very depressed about the idea of deleting my journals because , as i said, that is where i spread the word about my hats and sell my hats.
and then, after my mom deletes her
journal and dwell magazine contacts me about my hats...
i feel like it is a sign from the universe that i am protected and on the
right track and shouldn't let anything get in the way of my hatmaking!
instead of this day ending on a depressing note, with 2 deleted journals and my business, therefore, hurt because of it...i now have this happy opportunity to focus on that is EXPANDING and happy...not squished and sad!
what an unexpected twist to my day!
i am really really thankful and grateful that the universe is kind and supportive to me in this way :)
i must be doing something right!
i am sitting here in utter astonishment at my good fortune!
this day has just done a total fliparound in my favour and i am filled with joy and hope :)
i'm going to take this good energy and build upon it!
like a little spark, i am tending
to it and giving it plenty of oxygen and fuel to grow into a nice warm toasty
fire :)
3:18pm
*screeeeeeeee!*
i'm so excited but i am scared to
get too excited. i sent dwell a ton of images.,
i told them i can rephotograph the hats if they want me to. like have me wearing
them or something.
i will do whatever it takes to accomodate them!
this is exactly the kind of magazine i have been wanting to get my hats in!
it HAS to work out! it seriously just HAS to!
but just the fact that they contacted me at all shows me that i have been putting the right kind of energy out into the universe! and this gives me incredible motivation to continue on with the really big projects i have in my head! i REALLY needed this boost of energy!
yessssssss :)
2:34pm
a magazine called Dwell just contacted me and wants to feature my hats (perhaps, maybe, for some future issue that has not been finalized yet, they say...so...)!
have you ever heard of this magazine?
i'm excited! i hope it actually happens!
*fingers crossed*
1:58pm
ok weird. my mom just deleted her
journal.
it makes me wonder if she knew i was deleting mine somehow...hmmmmm....
very very curious.
1:46pm
i'm feeling a bit floaty and lost at the moment.
i am also deleting my "myspace"
account.
i only joined there so that i could invite my mom to it as a place where she
could go so that she would stop having a lj.
but all she did is use it as a tool to try to contact me there, too.
and i never use it anyway.
1:28pm
i'm deleting my livejournals so i
can't read my mother's livejournal and maybe then she will leave.
it's worth a shot.
although, i'm scared that by doing this, it will make her join ana2 so she
can try to contact me in here.
but she might be already in here, i just don't know.
this really sucks.
what sucks the most about it is that i use my livejournals to sell my hats.
so i really hope that the universe will support me in some way and let me
still be able to pay all my bills at the end of this month.
it's so cold in my house today and i am on the edge of my period and i have a headache.
i have the heater on and a winter hat and scarf on and i am still just freezing. i may turn my oven on, too.
12:00am
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it never occurred to me, as much
as it has ocurred to me right now that to some people...
"ART" (they think) is meant to be fully UNDERSTOOD.
that it is something they need to fully grasp and reason with and not just
let be,at least at some visual level, undissected.
it has always irritated the living shit of me when people have tried to dissect
my art and place meaning on it.
for me, it ruins it for me, because if i could EXPLAIN my art, then i'd just
explain it rather than make the actual art.,
i make the art because i CAN'T explain it.
it's something beyond words.
let me explain it this way...
do you NEED to know EXACTLY what is in your food and how it was prepared for
you to enjoy it's taste?
truly, if you are a chef, you might enjoy very much to know that information,
but you don't need to know it in order to enjoy the meal.
in fact, it is preferable (at least to me) to let some things have a mystery
about them. don't you think?
isn't it fun to wonder?
but i also realize that some people use this exact "excuse" to make really bad "art" and that irritates me just as much, if not more.