november 22nd, 2004
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11:21pm

there is something wrong with my dog, deiter :(
something is causing him pain when he moves but i cannot see anything wrong with him. sometimes he can walk, but he cannot jump onto the bed. and then sometimes even when he walks he squeals in pain.
i've checked his toes and toenails and skin and i don't see any cuts or slivers or anything wrong.
i don't know if he sprained a leg or where his pain is exactly :(

he is a very boisterous and active dog, tho, he romps and jumps and runs every day...so this is totally out of the blue.

i just tried to move him to the bed (he seems fine when he lays still)
and he just SQUEALED in pain, so now i do not even know how i am going to transport him to the vet tomorrow, which is about 5 blocks away.

but if i cannot even move him an inch without causing him severe pain to the point that he squeals louder than i've ever heard him squeal...how i am going to even pick him up and put him in a bag to get him to the vet???

i am at a loss what to do!!!

what a day..and my poor little pooh bear.
his tail is between his legs and he is quivering :(
he wasn't quivering until i tried to move him up to the bed...god,i feel so awful for trying to move him! (ok, he stopped quivering now..*whew* )

argh! what should i do???
how can i get him to the vet?
are their vet places that will come and sedate a dog to take him?
but if they sedate him will they be able to tell what happened to him??

this just happened out of the blue, as far as i can tell.
he wasn't even roughhousing around, i just heard him squeal from the other room this afternoon when i was in the other room. and he was just on the bed.
and there is nothing on the bed that is sharp or anything.

i don't know what happened..and i don't know how i am going to transport him tomorrow without causing him a lot of pain!!

10:36pm

a cool thing:

http://www.cyphic.net/zoomquilt/zoom.htm

10:20pm

*whew* what a day!!!
i think i've emailed everyone now who i didn't know their password to readd them.
hopefully they will all reply!
(except i had one email bounce on me...gah.)

thanks to jason for helping me on this! he is such a whiz!
and helping me after a long tiring day at work that he had :(
but now he has the rest of the week off. yay

so i THINK it's pretty much all ok now...i hope....

and now for the past few hours deiter has been squealing in pain about something and i can't figure out what!
my poor little pooh bear!
it hurts for him to walk sometimes and he cannot jump onto the bed . :(
so i've put a pillow on the floor for him and he stays by me being like a sad sad dog and i pet him and love him and pamper him.
i've checked his toes and toesnails and skin and i can't find any cuts or scrapes or slivers or anything wrong...
i have no clue as to what happened or to where or why he is in pain :(
did he sprain an anle or twist a muscle somewhere??

so tomorrow 1st thing, i'm taking him to the vet. :(

9:15pm

ana2 fixed!
ok, all ana2 members should be able to get in now!
yay to fetik3!

but a few of you , i didn't know the password for you, if this is you and you cannot get in still, email me at ana101@hotmaill.com and tell me so i can fix it asap!

(not like if you can't get in you can even READ this message)

7:13pm

ok, so...
they finally called me and i will save you the boring tech details.
but all the usernames and passwords will be restored by the end of tomorrow at the latest. (maybe even tonight) they were all erased :( augh.
long story. disk was too full. unix. blah blah. in the future my server and i will both be making backups of this!
so, i have to go in and find all the usernames and passwords that are all saved in separate emails and put them in notepad and jason has made a programme that can add them all back so i don't have to type them all in again.

but there are a few of you who were receiving free ana2 because you won the anapix contest and such that i might not have your password on file...so...if, when i update you further here in lj when all the usernames and passwords are working again and you try yours and it's not working, please email me at ana101@hotmail.com and i will fix it.

i'll will let you know, here, in my lj when all the usernames and passwords have been restored.

again, thank you for your patience and understanding.
in the over 7 years i have been doing this, this has never happened to me before...so i just had no idea it could even happen. but there you have it!
and it won't happen again!
it wasn't my fault that it happened, but it was my fault i didn't make a backup (and my server should have made a backup too). which i didn't think to do because i'm not a techhead and i just didn't think to do it.

i'm sorry about this, but sh*t happens, as they say. and thank you for your patience.

5:24 pm

well, i have this feeling that i am not going to be hearing back from the tech guy today. everyone else from my server has gone home :(
i have no idea why he didn't contact me, it's really unlike him, he usually gets back to me right away! i don't know what to say!

hopefully this will all be figured out by morning :(

thank you for your patience and understanding...nothing like this has ever happened before with my site!

4:09pm

watching oprah's "favourite things" show now as i wait...
i can't do anything else because knowing i may be interrupted by the phone any minute makes me unable to concentrate so my day has just gone to heck as i wait and wait and wait.

3:57pm

put up 4 new anapix

haven't heard from the tech guy. unreal.

 

3:45pm

i cannot do ANYTHING until this tech guy calls me!
he better call! everyone else from my server is leaving for the day :( aaa!
and i cannot do anything if i am waiting for the phone because whatever is i am going to do, i know i am about to get interupted any second, and that makes me not be able to concentrate.
fffffffffuck.
so all i can do is just sit here and type...and none of you can even get into ana2 to read it!
this is very irritating and i should not have had that cup of coffee because that just added to nerves, but at least i don't have a headache anymore, which is why i had it in the 1st place.
ffffuuuccckkk.

just sitting here, typing...and typing back to other ana2 members who cannot get into ana2, letting them know what's going on...
i walk from one room to the other because my webmaster email is on the other computer in the thing room.

3:29pm

still waiting to hear back from the tech guy! *taps fingers intensely*

2:45pm

ok, i can't get into ana2 and neither can anyone else, it seems. gah.
i called my server and told them and they are contacting the tech guy so we can get this sorted out!

so now i am sitting here waiting by the phone instead of getting to the post office.

*sigh*

12:24pm

unsettling dreams stuck in my head, of course.
had the 2nd dream now that my manager , bobby z (i suppose he really isn't my manager anymore since i haven't done music in 5 or 6 years and i think our contract ran out, but i'm still going to call him my manager, since that is how i think of him) was very distraught and drunk and that he and his wife had separated.
i hope everything is ok with him. i'm sure it is.
i'm sure this is just a symbol for something going on in my own life, but i have yet to figure out exactly what.
but i really do want to call him.
i haven't talked to him in so long.
last time i talked to him was to ask him if he knew any connection to courtney love because i wanted to get my cds to her and try out for her band. but that never did work out, and thank god, as you can see what is happening to her today :(

anyway, i should call him. i WANT to call him. but i only want to call him when i have written about 3 new songs, or maybe even just one, to show him.
so we can get together and maybe think of making music together again.
i hope he will still want to. i think he will.
but i really need to get on the ball and make new music.

I just need to set it all up somehow in the thing room.
trying to get rid of stuff in there to make room for anything at all to be set up in there.
i also think both of my fostex 4 tracks are broken, and so i think i will need to get another 4 track.
or maybe an 8 track, although 8 tracks have so many more knobs on them and once it gets too compliacated for me, it takes all the fun out of making music for me. i'm not really a techhead.
i like to just plug in my instrument into the hole and press record.
and then i can add more treble or bass and pan it more to the left or the right. that is really all i need.

i am really excited to make another album again. i sure hope bobby will be for it.
he owns his own studio now so that works out great.
he even said david kahne would be interested in collaborating again, too! but that was a few years ago when he said that. david kahne is amazing. he is brilliant.

and then also, i think i may contact steven severin again, he was the bassist for siouxie and the banshees and wanted to do some music with me long long long ago and i see he still links to me from his website.
so, i can see where that goes, too.

and of course, i have my brilliant boyfriend who can make incredible sounds and music :)

and i'll bet dr. fink would add a bit, too. i can always use him! he is one of the best keyboardists in this entire city plus he has all the gorgeous moog synths.

and what would be SUPER cool, if i had the dough, would be to fly some of The Pretty Things in to add something! i know i could get dick taylor to do it, at least :) and i should really call him, too, and see how he is. i haven't talked to him in a few years either. time goes so fast!

i even have the phone # of gina from the raincoats who was going to be the director of my video when i was on columbia. it would have been SO COOL, if we could have made it. *sigh*
i wonder if she still has the same phone #?

ok now i'm a little tweaked out on coffee.
and i have so much i need to do today, mail out a lot of things.
and go to the bank, too.
i may skip the bank part and just at least mail stuff out.

what i really want to do is clean the thing room and set up my musical equipment and see if it all still works.

when i write music again, i have NO idea what will come out of me.
seriously none. i think it will be very dark, tho.
since i have gone through a lot of bad times in the last few years.
i guess all my albums have been pretty dark, but i think this one is going to be REALLY dark.
but heck, i just don't know. i never know what will happen with it, just like my hats.