september 17th, 2004
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11:43pm

i ripped a TON of cds today. and tomorrow i will many playlists from them to dance so i can get into shape...
even tho i am pleasantly marilyn monroe-esque in shape, i do like to be skinnier.
or at least, just able to have more energy and be more flexible...stamina. :)

i am happy i am accomplishing this after so long. i am a dancer and a singer. and i need these 2 things integrated back into my life.

8:10pm

 

3:44pm

still ripping cds. i have so many cds. i'm glad i have a huge harddrive.
still checking my juno email because i want to make sure that everyone who writes me there knows that i'm going to be shutting that email account down. so, i still have to deal with my my emailing me there.
and she is still at it and trying to guilt me out. and saying she fell down and hurt her neck now.
she's really pulling any string she can.
but i'm staying strong. and i'm just going to continue on with my day and focus on the positive as much as i can.

2:20pm

oh ya, i forgot about prince's lovesexy cd that he made it so it's all one song! you cannot listen to individual songs on it. you can only listen to it in it's entirety. so aggravating. that is why i have the vinyl of it, too, so i can listen to the songs i want. i really need to get a real stereo again and not listening thorugh little computer speakers. and i don't know if i even have my turntable hooked up right.

making fried eggs.

i just have to think of my mother not really being my mother but just being another annoying stranger on the internet. if i think of her as just another dumb person on the internet that bugs me, i can deal with that better. but anyway i'm NOT going into her journal to read it. i'm just saying...

1:52pm

ripping cds, ripping cds, and ripping more cds...
there will be MUCH to dance to!

1:16pm

i will not read my mother's journal
i will not read my mother's journal
i will NOT read my mother's journal!!
i will NOT.

i am making playlists of dance music so that i can just click on them when i wake up and dance and therefore get into good shape again and lose 8 pounds by the end of this year.

focus on the positive
focus on the positive.
I AM FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE!

yessiireee. no more stewing and steaming and sulking and whining and bitching.

i can't change or control anyone.
i can only change and control myself.

 

12:17pm

today i am going to step away from the computer and get stuff done arouund the house and maybe get outside for a walk.
get back to moving and creating instead of thinking and writing and sitting and getting all worked up about the state of the world, my mother, and stupid people.

it's time to get back to creative life now, and get out of my analyzing mode.

i've taken in extreme amounts of information. analyzed the crap out of it, distilled it, and then said my piece about it.

and now i must move back into paying attention to my body and to my house and getting back to making photography and hats.