| september
16th, 2004 |
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11:35pm
a man from the military responds to an asshole in my lj with this:
"I disagree with most of the opinions conveyed in ana's original post, but I am more bothered by your statement that she should keep her opinion to herself.
If you're at all in support of the war, and/or our troops, and/or our country and it's values, you should realize that the main reason for all of the above is to ensure that we all have a place where we feel free to speak our mind... no matter how many others disagree with us or find our opinion unpleasant.
I know that some find it to be unpatriotic to doubt the war... but I think that the open exchange of ideas and debate is the epitome of patriotism."
there IS hope for this world. :)
11:22pm
i vow from this day forth to never
go look at my mother's lj.
if i ever go peek and bitch about what i see there, remind me that it bad
for me and help keep me on the path that is good for me...which is to not
ever go there.
i also closed down the email that she writes me at so if she writes, i cannot
see it.
so...please, if i stray, please remind me of how bad it is for me to do that,
ok?
thanks.
10:51pm
bleeeeeach with hands reeeach. waaaaanting
blonde hairrrrr....musssst ressssist....maybe.
mmmmm, the gorgeous chemically small of hair dye...ooooo...how i misssss it!
10:10pm
my mom is now writing publically in her journal again. no doubt to be a rebel
against what i said today in mine because she is going off on how she supports
president bush. good thing she can't vote because she isn't a citizen. what
a fucktard she is.
she is trying to say she was a hippy
in the 60's but she grew up.
i was THERE. i know her. she was NO HIPPY in the sixties.
sure, she bought a few beatles records and when McCalls magazine put out on
article on how to tie dye in 1972, she gave that a whirl for one day. i remember
because that was the day i got chicken pox.
god she is such a bleeting sheep.
she just parrots back whatever people want to hear.
when she was here, at my house, she was telling me how she DIDN'T support
bush, a few months before that she DID support him.
she supports whoever she thinks she's
supposed to support on that day.
she also used to be for women's rights and would bleet the slogan "women's
lib" throughout the 70's like a good nonthinking entity.
then she married her second husband who HATES porn and is "prolife" and is a good christian yet has books and books and books and books on marilyn monroe, many photos of her nude. and he, obviously, is a bush supporter since i see my mom bleeting about bush. bleet bleet bleet.
she makes me sick.
and how fucking stupidly obvious
of her to post that on the day of what i just posted.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i hate her!
i must stop going to her journal.
i WAS getting into a better mood.
9:52pm
my anacam@juno.com email is no more.
so if any of you use it to contact me, please do not anymore.
use:
ana101@hotmail.com
ana@voog.com (which fwds to hotmail)
webmaster@anacam.com (for business only)
those are the only 3 emails i use, the hotmail one the most....
8:02pm
so i have hair bleach...not the kind
that i can put in and get my hair pure white like the olden days...
but...i can still get it blonde. hmmmm....do i or don't i?
7:34pm
well, i'm glad i got that off my chest.
jason took me out to eat and i had
some seafood thai soup. and it was so good to get out of the house.
now i'm watching survivor
i need to get back to my LIFE now. back to creating and going out for walks and paying attention to my body.
4:03pm
things i need to say to those who remain in the lie.
elizabeth:
I agree that it is wrong for our military to be in Iraq right now. It is also
obvious that some of our soldiers and Marines have committed atrocities.
I just want to say that it saddens me when people generalize the actions of a small minority to every person in the military. I believe that the majority of the men and women in our armed forces are good people who signed up to defend a country that they love, and I think it is important that we acknowledge that.
ana:
they may have had good intentions. but the reality of the situation is that
their intentions mean zero because their actions have only hurt.
elizabeth:
I understand where you are coming from. A year ago I might have said something
similar.
In the last yes, I have come to know many people in the armed forces. Almost all of the people I have met are kind and decent human beings. They don't believe in this war any more than you or I do.
If you do, it is the same thing as saying everyone in this country is bad because our government has done some horrible things. The men and women in the military didn't have a vote and decide to go over there. They were sent, and they didn't have any more choice in the US going to war than you or I did.
All I wanted to say is that I think it is wrong to generalize the actions of a few onto the whole of the military.
ana:
they DID decide to go there. they CHOSE to sign up for the military. no one
can FORCE you to go kill innocent people. i don't know why that concept is
so hard for people to grasp. the government may have ordered it, but all their
little decent good intentioned hands are the ones who pulled the triggers.
they aren't robots. no one can force them to do that. they have free will.
and they chose to kill and hurt and maim and torture both physically and psychologically....they
can lay the blame on "just following orders", it doesn't change
the absolute FACT that it was THEIR innocent fingers who pulled those triggers.
they and everyone else
can rationalize it all they want in whatever way they want...because i know
it's hard to swallow that "decent" americans could become murderers
so easily.
but that is EXACTLY what they are. and nothing, in my view, is going to change
that blaring fact.
it's hard to hold conflicting ideas in your head at the same time. how could
innocent decent good people with such good intentions do so much evil? how
to we rectify that in our minds and in our hearts?
it's a tough one to swallow. but this world better wake up and swallow it
and rectify it or wars will just keep on continuing on in the name of justice
and peace and god and liberation.
and i'm sorry if that
gets anyone in a tiff.
but people need to start taking some personal responsibility for this and
stop blaming EVERYTHING on the government.
i know that if they didn't go they would be court martialled and thrown in
jail. but if you can face the horrors of war and face the fact that you may
have to murder an innocent person, then you certainly can face the horror
of jail and NOT kill an innocent human.
it's selfish beyond belief to take an innocent life just because you don't
want to go to jail. that's the harsh reality of this, as i see it. people
are just too selfish and lazy to take personal responsibility for the atrocities
that happen on this earth.
so much evil has been done to this world on the "just following orders"
or "just doing my job" line. and i'm sick to death of it. and other
people are just sick or actually dead from it.
elizabeth:
I agree with you that war is wrong and that killing people is wrong.
I don't agree though that the men and women fighting in Iraq chose to go there. They did choose to sign up for the military, and they made their choice based on a multitude of reasons. Some sign up for the GI bill so that they can go to school. Some sign up for training opportunities that they can eventually apply to civilian life. Some sign up because they realize that this country needs to be defended, and that no one is going to do it for us.
My brother-in-law signed up right after high school because he didn't see any other options for himself. He is a wonderful husband to my sister, and a wonderful father to his children. He has not raped or tortured anyone, nor do I believe anyone can call him a murderer. Whether or not killing in war is murder is a philisophical question that you and I apparently disagree on.
My husband signed up for the Army National Guard right after law school because he believes that it is every American citizen's duty to serve their country in some manner. He will be serving in JAG (military law) to assist soldiers in legal matters. He will be sent to Iraq in 2005. Is he rapist or a murderer?
The thing is, people have many valid reasons for joining the military. I believe they are doing you and I a service by defending our country. They don't get to choose which wars or conflicts they fight in. They go where our government sends them. The fault lies in our government, not in the men and women who are serving in the armed forces
ana:
well, you, in my opinion, are utterly brainwashed and in acute denial and
are doing some major rationalizing for murder.
killing people so you can go to college is selfish and wrong. i don't care how poor and underpriviledged you are. killing people is wrong. period and should never be an option so that someone can get a college degree. what a bloated selfish disgusting cancerous way of thinking that so many americans have been brainwashed into thinking.
no one can FORCE you to pull a trigger on a gun. wake up to that obvious fact.
if you husband goes to iraq and kills someone, he is INDEED a murderer.
i'm sorry that you have bought the lie, hook line and sinker, that going into iraq was "defending" our country. wow. since no one who died in the war so far over there ever hurt an american citizen prior to that war. and no iraqis were on that plane that hit the tower, and no weapons of mass destruction were ever found, and iraq never threatened our country, and blahity ditty blah. the list of blaringly obvious facts goes on and on.
stop blaming the government for everything. people need start taking some personal responsibility for this. it's not george bush over there pulling the trigger , it's "decent good well intentioned" fingers that belong to people like your husband. the fault lies EQUALLY upon them.
elizabeth:
I don't think that you have really read or tried to understand anything that
I have written here.
I certainly did not say that the war in Iraq is just, nor that we are defending our country by being there. I did say that I believe the war is wrong. I also believe that our country needs defense. You made the illogical jump to the idea that I have "bought the lie".
You've said a lot of vile things to me just because I tried to point out to you that not everyone in the military is bad. I choose to believe that your venemous words are based in anger for someone or something other than myself. I'd rather believe that than believe that you can have such anger toward someone simply for their ideas, because I think that you are generally a good person.
ana:
well, let me see. you think that going there is WRONG and that we are doing
damage that shouldn't be done yet you SUPPORT your husband going to iraq to
go do more wrong things.
and if he goes there and does wrong things, by his own free will, he is still
a "decent good" person.
how can a person be a good and decent person and willingly do very wrong things?
where do you draw the line with that?
what is up with that?
can't you see your huge flaw in your thinking?
i'm sorry that you view
what i have to say to you as vile.
i view what i have to say to you as a necessary truth because i'm not going
to tip toe around these issues any longer to make anyone feel good about themselves
for supporting something that is entirely and absolutely evil to the core.
because it's attitudes like yours, as well meaning as you want to be, that are sending this world to hell in a handbasket. and people really need to take a good long hard painful look at themselves and realize this fact if this world is ever going to know peace.
the road to hell was paved on good intentions.
and now we are in hell.
and innocent people are dying and being tortured and suffering more suffering
than we can EVER imagine.
all because well meaning decent people are going over there and destroying
an entire innocent country, blasting it back into the stone age, and decent
well meaning people like you are supporting your husbands and friends as they
are over there, even tho you know it is WRONG.
that, to me, is highly
irrational and insane.
and i can't just sit here and try to be all nice and use nice words to make
you feel ok with yourself for doing that.
i feel it is MY duty
to speak the harsh truth here.
i think the truth of this matter needs to be said in all its harsh reality.
because this truth IS harsh.
what is happening over
there right now is EVIL.
as in satanic and demonic.
and to take part in it is to do "satan"'s work, to put it bluntly.
and we need to stop doing
that. and we need to stop it NOW. we need to take personal responsibility
now. it IS within our power to do so.
to think you have no control over this is the lie evil wants you to stay in.
we were given FREE WILL.
this is a GIFT to be used WISELY.
and instead people are just acting like they've forgotten they have free will
and instead they think they are some sort of tiny robot in the cog of a machine
that they have no power to stop.
and that's complete and utter bullshit.
and that line of thinking is disempowering and cancerous to the heart and soul of humanity and to this earth.
we need to RECLAIM our power and wake up to the fact that we do, indeed, have free will. and we need to take responsibility and use it wisely and stop acting like a bunch of nonthinking brainwashed robots who have no say in this situation.
i find this disempowering way of thinking insulting and disgusting to the essence of humanity and the divine spirit and to the soul of this earth.
and if i have to act like jesus christ overthrowing the tables of money in the temple and pissing everyone off, then i will. because someone needs to speak the truth here, for the sake of humanity and this planet.
take hold of yourself.
don't be tricked into the lie that you have no control over this and others
don't either.
that is a disempowering lie. get a true grasp of this situation. then do your
part to stop it, if you truly believe it is wrong.
to sit back and do NOTHING is just as evil.
elizabeth:
You don't think it is possible to support our troups and yet not support the
war?
Okay, I can accept that you believe that.
I also disagree with you. I can support my husband (who, by the way, is training to be a JAG lawyer, not a soldier... I think you missed that part), and I can support my brother-in-law, and all the other people that I know in the armed forces. I can do that and still not agree with this war.
As you feel it is your duty to speak out against the war, I feel it is mine to point out that our troops deserve some support.
So we disagree.
See how I can disagre with you without calling you brainwashed, irrational, or insane?
ana:
no, i do not agree that we can support our troops and support the war. to
me they are one and the same. WITHOUT THE TROOPS THERE WOULD BE NO WAR. the
war IS the troops. the troops ARE the war.
i do not wish the troops harm. i hope they come back safely. and i hope they come to their senses and stop killing innocent people.
i don't care if your husband is going to be a lawyer someday (if he makes it out of there alive) if he is in iraq killing innocent people, he is a soldier who is adding to the evil and suffering in this world.
and to support that is to support evil.
and i DO think your line of thinking is brainwashed , irrational and insane. to support evil is exactly that. and i'm going to call it like it is.
this world is in too
much trouble to tip toe around this live or die issue with feelgoody language.
i'm not going to wrap it in a bow or spoonfeed it with sugar.
i feel it is my duty
(as an american and as a human and as part of this planet) to say it like
this.
unfortunately for everyone and everything on this planet, it did not work,
and you prefer to remain in the lie.
but at least i know i did my best to try to shake you out of it, and that is the most i can do.
2:11pm
2 happy things:
http://www.tigermagazine.org/magazine/tiger.html
1:49pm
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i could get into my juno email for
2 days. so i went on the web and used that interface.
and i had 1,000 fucking emails that was all "returned to sender"
and "cannot deliver email" and tons of majordomo replies and emails
from lists asking me to confirm that i had signed up to join. and some asswipe
was using my voog.com domain to spam other people and sign up to lists and
grrrrrrr. ths happens to me every day, every fucking HOUR. people using my
domains to spoof and spam other people and then *I* get all the returned email
that will not go. fucking a! why are some people so damn evil???
i swear to god if i ever meet a person who does this kind of shit i am going to strangle them.
i hate spammers and people who spoof others emails and sign me up to lists!!!! arrrrgh!
i will go postal on their ass if ever i meet any of them. you can count on that. aaaa! (yes, i realize he irony of my antiwar stance and my violent language)
and then i had this AGGRAVATING person
from the united kingdom INSISTING to me that the world is in a golden age
and getting better and better all the time and i said i disagreed with them,
they sent me 5 emails being aggravated at ME for not engaging them in debate
about it and insisting it was MY JOB , my OBLIGATION, to educate them.
like i don't even KNOW who this person is WHY would i take more time out of
my day to educate them about the ENTIRE world. i sent them to infowars.com
and they just blew it off.
whatever. that's all i can do is point people in directions and then it's
up to them to go there or not and make whatever they want out of it. it's
not my OBLIGATION to educate naive assholes one on one all day long.
god, what a sense of entitlement that person had. really.
and THEN i had another stupid thing. some disgruntled photocontest member tried to make one of those "this community in unfair and so therefore i am leaving" whiney whine whine posts. thank god my community is moderated so i just rejected it.
and then some other aggravating stupid ass post in my lj about how the people in the military were FORCED to g over to iraq. as if people are robots with no free will.
aaaa! i hate people today!!!!!!
i need to get outside for a walk.
i really really do.
i need to step far away from the computer and get my life back.
++++
here are some things i posted in my lj recently:
the iraq war and rape
when i sent off to my mailing list about the iraq war and how we "killed
and maimed and psychologically and literally raped 10 times the amount that
were innocently killed in the towers", some guy wrote back to me and
said "rapes? what rapes? i haven't heard anything about any rapes over
there."
so, just in case there are any more of you who do not know, educate yourselves:
american female soldiers raped by
american soldiers:
http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~6439~1913069,00.html
if they rape our own women you don't think they won't rape iraqi women? of
course they are...read more below about how wonderful it is to be a woman
living in iraq right now. thanks for the "liberation", american
military.
more rapes:
http://www.antiwar.com/lobe/?articleid=2870
http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,1214698,00.html
http://aztlan.net/worst_photos_not_released.htm
http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20040826/news_lz1e26holberg.html
and
iraq war rape porn
http://www.atsnn.com/story/47468.html
+++
about gmail's privacy statement
a quote taken from one of the articles linked below:
"...Google's Gmail privacy policy states: "Google will never sell, rent or share your personal information, including your Gmail address or email content, with any third parties for marketing purposes without your express permission." You can find the privacy policy here: http://gmail.google.com/gmail/help/privacy.html
Unfortunately, they are being rather disingenuous. They are selling every word of every email to advertisers, and they clearly state that several paragraphs later: "When you are logged into your Gmail account, Google will display targeted ads and other relevant information based on the content of the email displayed."
They also state that the process of selling your email word by word is completely automatic, and no human is involved in reading your email. Just like the FBI's Carnivore! http://computer.howstuffworks.com/carnivore.htm
Also, the Electronic Frontier Foundation says "It is possible to link your email address to your search history using your unique Google "cookie" - a bit of software code that automatically allows both the Google search engine and Gmail to "recognize" you whenever you return to the website. Unless you delete it, this cookie will remain on your computer's hard drive for long enough to be effectively permanent." You can find that article here: http://www.eff.org/effector/17/12.php
So now all of your searches, and all of your email can be tied together, so there can be a complete picture of who you are, what you search for, and who you email with.
What a great idea, you say? Well, fine, then the system can be designed to clearly let you "Opt-In", instead of placing the burden on the consumer. The EFF also says that you can delete this cookie often and that will solve the problem. Of course, when was the last time you deleted a cookie? And why should you, because companies should be protecting your privacy from the beginning, not placing the burden on consumers.
Google's Gmail privacy policy says: "....residual copies of email may remain on our systems for some time, even after you have deleted messages from your mailbox or after the termination of your account."
So they can keep your email, essentially forever. And with 1GB of storage, that could be a lot of email.
So what, you say? Because of course, you would never use email to discuss anything that could come back to haunt you, like sexual extra-marital affairs, or business practices, or politically unpopular speech, would you???? No, of course not, because you realize that with a subpoena, any court, divorce courts included, could get all of your email. Since is convienantly stored forever, it's will be a treasure trove for lawyers and the police.
And of course, they reserve the right to transfer your 1GB of stored email to another company, in case of merger or acquisition. How would you feel if General Electric suddenly had all your email, or Lockheed-Martin, or Microsoft?..."
http://gmail-is-too-creepy.com/
http://www.totse.com/en/privacy/undetectableap173480.html
http://www.wired.com/news/business/0,1367,62917,00.html
http://www.sethf.com/infothought/blog/archives/000573.html