august 23rd, 2004
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5:37pm

i just took some cool pix in the tub and i'm going to screw around with them now and then get them up in here asap :)

3:50pm

i feel so spaced out and can't seem to snap out of it, so i am just going with the flow of it because i know if i fight it, it will only make it worse. it's like i am on autopilot and getting the basic things of life done. i am functioning, and on many levels i am even happy. it can't be depression since i am still very motivated to crochet and i have many new ideas in my head and i'm excited about making them.

yet, i feel really spaced out and almost without emotion. i feel there are several of me , each doing their separate "duties" in separate parts of the "house"/me , like one is getting the household chores done in the kitchen , one is thinking about creative projects in the drawing room, and one is sorting things out emotionally somewhere....way back in some back room....maybe typing away on some old typewriter or sorting through old files. and each of these mes are functioning fine, are perfectly comfortable with each other, but totally want to be left alone to do their own thing without any direct communication between them.

and so i am just letting them/me do that. maybe that sounds really weird to some of you. i don't know.
but it seems like a perfectly sane way to be for me right now. and it's working, and it's peaceful...so...i'll just let it be that way for as long as it needs to be that way.

but i do feel very very introverted. and to even utter a single sound would just exhaust me.

so i'm half watching the olympics, half putzing around and doing chores, and i'll probably crochet some more since that keeps me feeling peaceful but still productive. i'm glad i am still being productive.

i do feel really guilty that my camera is blurry (as if that is my fault) but i just can't do anything about that right now. i'm sorry. i know it's a drag. it's a bummer for me, too.
but soon my camcorder will be fixed and all will be well in that area again.

2:45pm

thank you everyone for your well wishes and such :)
it comforts me to know you are there even tho i haven't had much energy to reply yet :)

xox

2:39pm

what i have been working on. it still is not finished, but i think it's turning out really cool :)

i've always wanted to make an elizabethan collar type thing, and this is my 1st attempt at doing it. i still haven't finished it. i'm going to make it even bigger and add some silver or red or both. and i'd love to add some beads, too.
all of a sudden i have a lot of ideas for neck pieces i want to do and i'm excited about doing them! this neck piece is made from linen. i took the second picture and turned out the lightness on it so that you can see the stitches better.

and there is the wig i traded a hat for.