august 7th, 2004
past anagrams	menu	utb

i'm a spaz.

+++

holy god! i was googling for images of john galliano and ran into my own journal, how bizarre is that??? *scree*

11:42pm

 

tried on my almost done outfit with the mask and played the music (warm leatheratte by the normal)

i still will take really cool full length pix of it later. i'm not even done crocheting it yet.

ya, it rules so much.

i just hope that tomorrow during rehearsal i can figure out how many steps it take me to walk out on stage before i put the hats on the mannequin.

that is all i care about. man, i DO need rehearsal time this time and i hope nielle gives it to me.
but i doubt there will be time because there never is.

anyway...it'll all be good someway somehow. it is what it is. and that is the attitude you have to have or you go nuts.

this is so small time for what i am used to, but still, i always get nervous. but i am not nearly as nervous as i was last time. last time, i wanted to throw up for a month straight and i wasn't even on stage (which is why i wanted to puke , i think, i wasn't as in control) but this time i am on stage, i know what i want and i know if i fuck up i can rectify it.

i just rrrreeeeaaallllyyy want to wear these $500 fluevog shoes that i bought about 5 years ago that i still have not yet had the event to wear them at mostly because i can't walk in them without falling down and almost killing myself.

they are sculptures! they are one of my most prized possessions. later on i found out that my grandmother almost married fluevog's dad or grandfather. i can't remember which. one of my uncles told me. so, in a way, fluevog could have been my relative. but if my grandmother had married him, i would never been born in this incarnation.

weird.

9:44pm

answering machine.

ok, my answering machine is plugged in. i think??? i guess it will have to be tested 1st to see if it works.
i have no idea...
i still haven't figured out how to make a message ...it just has the default one. but it's plugged to the wall.

i don't know if i can hear anyone if they leave a message yet. trying to figure that out...

i'm so retarded.

 

5:14pm

my god. why am i procrastinating?

i'm looking at rhinoceros beetles and victorian ostrich feather mourning fans on ebay.
i resisted buying the knights of templar hat, but it was damn hard to do that.

my goal is to get RID of things not to buy more.

but oh my gosh do i ever love beautiful unusual things!!!!!!!!! aaaaa!!!!

 

4:18pm

The Case Against George W. Bush - by Ron Reagan

2:46pm

it's only 70 degrees today but it feels chillier than that because of the slight wind.
it really feels like fall.

i didn't get out yesterday to walk, but maybe i will today. i didn't get much done yesterday whatsoever.
bad me.

what i really feel like doing today is reading. but i can't. i have to crochet. i really don't feel like crocheting at all.
but tomorrow is rehearsal for this show. and i don't have to have anything done for a rehearsal, but i'd like to.

i finally really did get my period today after a bunch of days where i thought i was getting it and then didn't.
and i don't usually get cramps but today i do, so i just feel really ishy and i just want to stay in bed and wrap myself up into a ball and read or sleep.

*sigh*

the sky is overcast. i wonder if i drank a red bull if that would help to motivate or if it would just make me shakey and nervous on top of being tired.

i wish i had a fireplace. i would just like to sit in front of a fireplace today and drink mint tea or something and snuggle with the monsters.

jason is just cleaning his house today. he is still on the feng shui clearing clutter thing. he does one room per weekend and today is his bedroom. i can't wait until i can get back to doing that, too.

i can't wait until this hat show is over with.