july
2oth, 2004 |
||
10:55pm
i know this is, sort of, groveling,
but i am poor,
and 30% of the photos i show u in ana2 come from my nikon that is now gone
because it has been stolen.
if each of u donated to me only $1 a piece, that would pay for 1/6th of my
camera, which is A LOT.
so....if you would like me to take more pictures, more megapixel pix, more
pix in general, would like to add to the quality of this artist's life, and
would like your very own personal:
1. 8.0 (which printed out is 20"
by 30") nude photo
2. 8.0 (which printed out is 20" by 30") nude movie with sound
3. 8.0 megapixel self portrait
4. 8.0 megapixel self portrait with sound
5. artsy 8.o megapixel photo random photo
5. artsy 8.o megapixel photo random photo (with sound)
let me know which you would like, (if any)
paypal ID:
ana101@hotmail.com
----------------
cheque or money order:
make it out to:
"who is rachael olson?"
and send to:
ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175
----------------------
or let me know by email (ana101@hotmail.com)
what i may charge your credit card
and i can send u by email you huge megapixel photo with the new camera that
you helped buy me.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
7:28pm
nope, no one has turned in my camera.
and that store is crawling with people.
if no one has turned it in, then it's just gone.
i hope whoever has it fries in hell for all of eternity. those motherfuckers.
i can't imagine finding a camera
like that and not turning it in. or maybe they stole it right from my cart.
i don't know.
but whoever has it knows they SHOULDN'T have it, and knows damn well what
they should have done is not to have stolen it OR if i misplaced it they should
have turned it in. i fucking hate most of humanity. i swear. most people are
sick evil motherfuckers who should just all get kicked in the head. i can't
believe someone is walking around with MY camera thinking that today was THEIR
lucky fucking day. ASSHOLES. motherfucking pieces of shit.
i hope karma grates a hole in their head and their brain oozes out and fries on the hot cement.
but if there is karama, what did
*I* do to deserve this???
what did i do to deserve my camera to be stolen?
i can't think of a good reason. i can't think of any reason whatsoever unless
the universe is just a shitty place and shitty things happen in it for no
reason whatsoever, which is probably the case.
i don't know. i'm just really really
angry.
i feel so violated. i feel so taken advantage of.
what do people think? oh yay free camera? don't think think at ALL how it will affect the other person if they take it? they think it is a pain free present from god for THEM? what the fuck are they thinking???
i've had so much of my stuff stolen from people. i don't know what is my karma with that, if there is any karma a all, i don't know. what is the purpose? what am i supposed to learn from it?
maybe the only thing to learn from it is just not to leave your camera in the cart and jus that the wolrd is a shitty place where people will take advantage of you if they feel they can get away with it.
greedy assholes. nonempathetic pieces of crap. soulless nonentities.
why why why?
i don't want to feel this way. it
makes my heart feel dark.
it like the person who stole my camera put his or her darkness into me by
stealing my camera. and so not only do i get my camera stolen, but in its
place i get a sticky dark ooze covering my heart chakra.
fuckers.
i don't know how to move through
things like this with light and love.
i don't know how to be peaceful with crap like this.
i don't know how to forgive it.
7:08pm
well, if my nikon coolpix is gone, i guess i will just take this as an opportunity to get an even better nikon. the 8700.
the cheapest i could find for the nikon 8700 is here:
http://www.electricsam.com/shop/product.aspx?sku=NIK8700
it's 8.0 mega pixels and my coolpix
was only 3.0 mega pixels.
plus 8700 makes movies with sound.
how on earth i will come up with
the $ , tho, is beyond me. but...i'll figure out something since i definitely
need one.
it's my job, fer cryin' out loud.
but then i also need the wide angle lense and at a huge compact flash card.
i'm going to call ikea now , tho, and see if anyone turned in my camera to lost and found...
6:33pm
i had such a great time at ikea today
with fuzzybumblebee!
m god, the place is HUGE! i mean, it's blocks and blocks and blocks long!
unreal. i can't even describe to you how huge it is!
it took all my willpower not to buy everything in the store. i was sighing and sighing at the lovliness!
i did buy a few very practical things. some oven mitts because mine have holes in them, and 2 very cheap pillows (4 bucks each). a blanket for $20.00 and 2 nice collapsable storage things for 8 bucks each. i need about 20 of them! cause everything in the thing room is either in pillowcases or ugly cardboard boxes. but i got 2, it's a start.
and we had yummy swedish meatballs at the restaurant in the store.
then, it was tragedy :(
either i set my camera down somewhere, which i don't think i did because i have been over and over and over it in my mind for the past 2 hours...and i don't think that is what happened...or...someone stole from my cart..my CAMERA. my very expensive nikon coolpix 990 camera with very expensive wide angle lense and very expensive 256 MB compact flash card.
i am seriously sick about this.
of course i went to lost and found and also retraced some of my steps, but it did not find it.
and i will call back there later tonight. but i really do think someone stole it and it's gone and that is that.
total price: almost $1,000
but i can get one used on ebay for a lot cheaper these days.
but the compact card cost 100 bucks and the lense cost 100 bucks.
and you know how much i use that camera. it's my LIFE.
i just don't know how i am going to afford to get another one anytime remotely soon :(
i'm so depressed :(