June 29th, 2004
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9:03pm

i just saw a bat outside :)

i love bats :)

bats are the upsidedown pookadog.

 

8:58pm

sold another mannequin!

i'm so proud of myself for parting with them :)

more later...

6:50pm

kiitos and zero are on their way over to get a mannequin (hopefully)
i just went to the food store for salt but ended up buying lots of fruits and veggies and hummus because i just can't stand it when it is starting to be fruit season and i can't buy the fruit. i would do anything for fresh fruit. an-y-thing.

soon it will be full on cherry season! KICK ASS! that is my favourite! i can eat 2 pounds of cherries a day!

can u tell i am in a better mood than yesterday? know why? because i sold some stuff and can now pay more of my bills. ABUNDANCE NOW! haha :)

and yes, i am SO excited about living in a spacious clean place! and ridding myself of old energy!

i really think this financial crunch is a blessing in disguise as it's really forcing me to part with things i do not need to make room for new stuff. the universe is so tricky like that! thanks universe you ol' dog you!

oh and THEN, it was so WEIRD (i know i use that word a lot..but things ARE weird), but the guy who was bagging my groceries (yes, the posh grocery store of byerly's because that is where jason wanted to go) was flirting with me and that really threw me so off guard because he was only 16! (had to be!)

*cue mrs. robinson song*

i can't believe i am now at the age where i get to say "i am twice your age , young man!"
(but i didn't say that, i just became a bumbling fool as my brain tried to take it in and i fried a few brain cells in doing so)

so so weird....

and i am so so happy that, yet again, i have come up with another $1,500 a month to survive just to do it all over again. :) can u believe that is how much it takes for me to survive? man, i used to live on/make 500 a month (if even that..sometimes i would make only 300 or 400), but that was back when i could get food stamps ( a whopping $36 a month worth. woo hoo! thanks reagan!) and was quite quite poor and lived in a house that was party central with 5 crazy punk rock guys and my rent was only $135 a month and we used to go dumpster diving for food.

ya, don't exactly want to go back to THAT!
but it a bizarre way (a WEIRD way?) i do kind of miss the simplicity of it sometimes...although it was anything BUT simple at that time.

kiitos and zero should be here any minute....

 

 

 

3:48pm

 

3:19pm

all my stuff i own used to serve my purpose. it kept me grounded. it made me feel safe and cozy.
i LOVED my things (and still do), and my things loved me back :)
i found it very energizing :)

but then it started to bog me down. and i had to work through a lot to get to the point where i am now where i am ready to let it all go in order to make space for new energy to come in.

i am excited! it is going to be a new chapter in my life, i can feel it.

i am finally reading this "clear your clutter with feng shui" book by karen kingston that someone gave me.
i didn't even have the energy to read it. but now i do because now i am at the point where i can actually do something about it instead of just wistfully think about it or read about it.

and i'm excited! and a bit scared too. because i have never really lived a life in so many decades with all my STUFF!

and the more i am learning about life and of my body and of earth and earthly things and also spiritual things (and how these things are one and the same) and how everything is connected. i am realizing that EVERYTHING is working together as a technology.

and i can see (in my mind and at a deeper sense) the little threads that connect things and the geometric patterns it all creates as it works together.

i see how the emotions that are imbued in things effects me and how i add to that and how i feel towards things affects how they "feel" towards me. and that is why i have always been a thing magnet because i LOVE things!

you will attract in your life that which you love/focus on.

i love things so much that the more i throw out my door, the more of it just shows up in my life!

but i tell myself now , as i get rid of stuff for these things to go live a new life with someone else, that i am giving myself the gift of "space" :)

anyway, i just know that as i get rid of more and more stuff, this is going to clear the way for so much more new things and directions in my life and is going to affect me at every level. physical, emotional, spiritual.

because by ridding myself of physical things i am also getting rid of the emotional things, too. etc etc etc.

anyway, just reading this book now affirms all of this that i have been thinking about for the last several years as i have been preparing myself for this big purge.

it cool to see it written down and affirmed :) it makes me feel solid and less scared to continue on with my purging and extricating process.

i have so much more to write about this but i will later.

back to more reading . and jason is on his way home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2:21pm

i don't think i will go outside in case this zero guy coming over thing happens. which i do not know when or if it will even happen but...

i will read until then...

12:47pm

ok, cool, i made $200. she took a mannequin, and i also gave her a painting, a stuffed animal, some cool magazines and an alice in wonderland book! yippee :)

i should either get to the bank today or the p.o. box. it's HOT out there. really super sunny and 85 degrees. actually kind of too hot for where i feel comfortable. but that's ok :)

i should eat some food 1st before i go, tho.
i may be poor but i am eating like a king because of all the food jason's mom gave me. last night i put some tuna steaks in this "soysabi" sauce to marinate. it's soy sauce, wasabi, ginger, garlic, and vinegar and something else i think, i can't remember.
but that should be very well marinated now and i think i'll cook those up now.

i'm so glad i sold a mannequin and got rid of some other things, too!
i'm so glad i have things to sell (and people who buy them)

i hope this zero guy comes over today and takes another mannequin!

time to listen to my "grandma smoked dope" radio station on live365

oh, and i've also maybe sold about 10 cds, but i haven't received the payments for many yet...but i hope they all follow through, because that is another $120.

 

11:41am

amber is coming over on about 20 minutes to check out and see if there are any mannequins she wants.
and then a friend of a friend named zero may come over later today to pick out a mannequin. cool!

it's actually hot today after weeks of 50 to 60 degrees. it's getting up into the 80's today.
i really should get outside dammit!!!
and take some pictures!!!

when jason gets home he is going food shoping so i am going to go with so i can buy lots of salt so i can finally dye those t shirts!!

thank you to the 3 new people who joined! you help me out greatly!
thank you sooooooo much!!