May 15th, 2004

4:27pm

i'm going to take a long grounding bath. i think this will help me.
i'll be ok, sometimes things just get to be too much for me and i need to get grounded.
now we leave at 6:30pm so that gives me a bit more time to get ready.

3:54pm

i'm so intensely nervous i feel like i am going to jump out of my skin.
it's the kinf of nervous that implodes all your insides and makes me feel so horrible i just want to will myself out of existence until it's over.

but i have to get my shit together because in 2 hours we go to celebrate jason's graduation with his friends.

i hope i can pull myself together enough to not come across as a total social freak.
i am way to overly stimulated.

i need to learn how to not soak in other people's energies in social situations. i can be just like a sponge sometimes.

i need a patch of grass to lay on.