May 13th, 2004
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6:07pm

jason will be home from his LAST day of school in an hour and then we are going out to eat to celebrate!
the bigger celebration with all his friends is on the 15th and his graduation ceremony is the the 22nd.

he is taping survivor so i can watch it after we get back from eating :)

 

 

5:51pm

i opened a can of snails last night because i was curious. but they smelled not appealing at all, and i even offered one to the dogs and all 3 were totally repelled by it. so...ish. no canned snails for me!

5:33pm

after being transferred from department to department and being on hold with lovely musak, they say my long distance service will work in 24 hours. so...we'll see! hmmm....

4:44pm

called all the models except the one that is long distance. so i got a hold of 7 out of 14. one cancelled so i need to find another one.
left messages on the machines of others and i hope they call me back!
this is SO weird calling models and trying to explain to them all of this. i've never had to do anything quite like this.
gah, i hope this all works out! it's so weird to kind of be in charge of 15 gorgeous models who are super tall who i have never met, and i get to boss them around and dress them up for about 5 minutes of my life. bizarre. i especially feel weird about the men since i am going to be putting them in long black (masculine) skirts and so i hope they are ok with that. they better be, because they are models!
i tell the men it's very cyber punk and to bring some big black boots. i hope these men look kick ass because i have NO idea what they look like, but i'm sure it will be fine! *twitterpation*
if they are fragile looking elfin gay men, that will also work out fine for me. in fact, i'd probably like that more, but i'm sure they are probably all muscley. who the heck knows? i guess i'll find out on the 23rd at the dress rehearsal!
this is all so intimate yet it's so detached and fleeting. just weird weird weird. i have a stomache ache.

3:14pm

i've been calling the models. got a hold of some, left messages for others. one told me she cancelled so i have to still find one more model.
i have now the male models to call, of which there are 5.
i hope no one else cancels.

one of the models is long distance and so i tried to call her and MY LONG DISTANCE STILL DOES NOT WORK! got put on hold and transferred to a bunch of people and then was given another 1-800 # to call about this which i will do later.

augh.

 

1:17pm

today is jason's last day of school! woooo hooooo!

if you didn't see the cool pix in yesterday's anagram, i suggest you go look!

i emailed the photos of the make up i want to the woman in charge and told her to fwd them to the make up artists.

i got all the hats together that i could possiblt use for the show that are done and there are 12 of them.

counting today, i have 9 days left (that i have free) that i can use to finish 3 more hats. and i do have 3 that are almost done. so i am doing ok.

i don't think i will deconstruct all the black dresses, i'm just going to leave them as is. at the day of the show i may deconstrust them a bit quickly by cutting off hemlines, that will not take long, i can do that quickly, especially if i bring lots of scissors for people to help me.

ow, my stomche goes into a knot as i type that.

i wish i could have made "the ultimate hats" for this show. but perhaps it's good that i start out my 1st show simply, that when when i do my next one people can see my growth as an artist more and see how much i have improved. it will be easy to outdo myself for my second one. :)

ok, so that is that for now....

 

 

here is more i wrote my mom:

ya, i am sure there is good stuff on that site, too.
that is pretty much how i get my info, it just digging through 99% crap to get to that 1% that rings true for me.
and then i take all those little pieces that ring true for me and i see if there is a common theme or they could in any way be connected.

i think we are really on the same page more than you think.
like you think when i see i get the energy from within me, and you say it comes from god, i think you are misunderstanding me.
when i say the energy comes from within us or we need to go within to get it, what i mean, is that we go within to find our inner CONNECTIONS to the divine/god/universe .
all the power does not come solely from within us only. what i mean is that our connection that we need to find in order for the power/god force to work THROUGH us, is that we must go inward to "flick on that switch" so to speak, to let "god" work through us.
we are not in and of ourselves little power stations that do not need anything else to be connected to to find our "inner power/divine spirit/true love" etc etc etc.

if we DISCONNECT from what you call god and what i call "the universe" (which just means "the one song"), that is when we lose our power. i'm saying, go within, and realize that we need to be connected to , tapped into, that divine source. if we think the power comes solely from us and us alone, that is when we get into serious trouble.

and you can see in bush's eyes that he really thinks that HE, solely, is a powerful man. i think he thinks the power IS coming from him.
and he is in delusion about that. well, actually HIS power is coming from "satan", and when i say satan i do not mean a man with horns, but "whatever it is the is pure evil". i do not think we can really comprehend it, as you said we do not have the ULTIMATE knowledge of good and evil. i don't believe that we don't just because god doesn't want us to have it, but because as humans, it's just literally impossible for us to comprehend because we are all parts of god, we are not god in his/her/it's entirety.

but ya, i just wanted to clarify that with you that i do not think that the power comes from us and us alone like we are islands that need nothing else.

i'm saying we must go within and connect to god, and let him/her/it work THROUGH you. and then never to mistake that power is yours and yours alone.

and yes, we absolutely MUST put on our armour. :)

and yes, i do think evil has a master plan to destroy the earth, absolutely.