May 12th, 2004
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ah, finally got into my webmaster email! all is ok with that now!

 

sorry for any inaccuracies in here.... i don't get it all right. research it yourself :):

6:31pm

more to my mom (when i should be cleaning and crocheting:

this other faction of jews that are not actually jews....i haven't heard anything about that...but it wouldn't surprise me since the world seems to be overrun with christians who are not really christians.

but i have wondered lately what is the deal with the jews being so persecuted and why do the nazis want them killed off so much?

also with women...where does that fit in to all of this? why are women so intensely oppressed and when and where did that start?

and then the american indians and also the africans.

if you went to go see the murals at the denver airport and you saw the one where there was 3 coffins that contained in them 3 women, an african, an american indian, and a jew...it makes one wonder.

because genetics plays into this entire thing at every level, and indeed appears to be what this entire thing is about almost...

and the people who have the genetics of a jew, american indian, or african (all have had genocide against them in the biggest of ways more than any other type of people on this planet), must be very feared by these nazi type people for SOME reason.

and this reason must have something to do with their genetics. now of course i am going to be making HUGE wide generalizations here about different races. as one can make generalizations about different types of dogs who have different strengthes and weaknesses and characters based solely upon their genetics (domestic dogs, btw, also cannot be explained. they just "appeared" pretty much on the timeline "as is").

there must be some basic character things in these races that go against their "master plan". their genetics, i think, give the people who have them, perhaps, a predisposition to not be influenced as much by the illuminati in ways that the people who have them are not even aware of.

there is a scientist right now who has actually found a CODE in our DNA that spells out actual sentences if you assign certain elements a hebrew letter.
and the very first words of the "book" that is contained within us all that they still have yet to decipher is "god eternal, within us all"

now WHAT are the chances of that?

i think their are "codes" within each of us. each race perhaps has a slightly different code. and everything also vibrates to it's own tone or frequency. for instance, scientists have now discovered that the universe's note is F#!

(which these granite pillars in the roof of the kings chamber in the great pyramid ALSO vibrate to f# like a tuning fork!)

these is sheer postulation on my part, i haven't seen anyone address this at all, so this is my theory, but my theory is that certain races will not be able to be controlled as easily as other races by the illuminati IF the illuminati decides it wants to somehow control us by "frequency"

(am i sounding more and more like a paranoid schizophrenic? :)

but they are screwing around with frequency as a weapon for some time. look into HAARP and ELF which are huge government facilities that are screwing around with high frequency and low frequency to control the weather (and other things) and is a huge reason the whales are beaching themselves. a lot of these theories having to do with nicola tesla (whose work was confinscated by the government and he was quietly shut up)

anyway...more than just this frequency thing, there is just something IN the genetics..heck if i know! all i'm saying is...
if these people are obsessed with genetics...and they are trying to kill off certain races more than others. WHY?
my guess it that it must have something to do with genetics. and what that something is, is anyone's wild guess.

and since scientists are just now starting to find out about frequency and dna and others about codes in our bodies...
then, who knows what we don't know about ourselves and the way we work?

 

5:53pm

another thing i wrote my mom:

princess diana always called the royal family "lizards" ,too!
isn't that freaky?

yep, there is a lot people say about princess di and her death and the royal family!
it's pretty bizarre!
i do think she was murdered, to be sure.

the pyramid is very interesting! i could show you lots of archived radio shows you could listen to you if you want about it. there are some fascinating new theories.

it sounds like there was an ancient technology that we have now lost where people were able to move large objects with sound!

now that i think of it, wasn't it the walls of jericho that fell because they played horns all night or something like that?

look into "the coral castle" that is in florida. it seems the man who made that knew a bit about that technology as he made this very cool "castle" for his lost love. it's a very romantic and fascinating story, too :)

it's a huge mystery! and i'd love to go visit it sometime.

i have thought so much about what one can do to battle this evil. and the only conclusion i can come up with is just to emanate as much love as possible. i think there is more power in love, and even in the love of ONE being than "they who are evil" would want us to understand or know about. they would like us to think that one small person cannot change anything. they want to make sure we feel powerless.

i think jesus was trying to tell us this.

i think the hippies were kind of on the right path when they would fight the soldiers with "flower power" and "love ins" and they would stick flowers in their guns and stuff, as dippy as that sounds.

i think they were really on to something there, you could tell they were because look at how incredibly scared the government was of them!
i don't think the government has ever been more freaked at a subsculture like that in quite some time.
look how freaked out the government was of john lennon! john lennon has an FBI file on him a mile long. they tried tried to shut him up a lot. they were terrified of him. and people like martin luther king.

the problem was that the hippies really didn't know what it was they were doing. and it got deluded and it pittered out.
and it got discredited and was turned into a joke.
and i think it really helped to have manson and his clan go in and murder those people to discredit the hippy movement even more.

but i think there is great power in people gathering and emanating love and peace.

but what do we gather for instead and put our thoughts towards as a collective mass? violent sports and tv shows.
and janet jackson's freaking nipple.

they do everything they can so make sure we keep visualizing bad things or nonsense.
because creative visualization/prayer is a powerful thing and anything they can do to keep is focused on material things like sports, nipples, tv, shopping, how fat our bodies are, then the more they can drag us down into the material world and not the spiritual world.

so what we can do to help, is to not get sucked into that trap, and not buy into what they are selling.
and not to believe them when they tell us we are powerless. just keep on growing as a spiritual being.
claim your power, connect to the earth, and realize love IS it.
it's the thing of you cannot change the world, you can only change yourself. but through changing yourself you then DO change the world.
because everything is connected.

i guess that is all i can make of it so far.

but , in my opinion, this election coming up is a complete joke. both kerry and bush have the same agenda. they are both from skull and bones.
they have both sworn alliance to whatever that is. and what the illuminati are doing are just giving us 2 choices of the exact same thing to give us the ILLUSION that we are somehow in control and have some sort of say in this. and as long as they have the masses mired in things that do not matter AT all, and have us solely concentrated on "who should we vote for?" and "oo, we better get an investigation into that torture thing!" and "i'm so upset that my children have been permanently scarred by a nipple!" and everything in this wolrd is set up to make the poor poorer and the rich richer, and if you are so focused on trying to work a meaningless job so you can buy food....who has time to think about growing spiritually when we are all so angry and depressed and opressed?

in my opinion, what they don't want us to know is that the way to change to world is not through voting (which is totally rigged) and all these other physical material ways to change things....
but it's through "the back door" into the other realms where they DON'T have jurisdiction.

they may have control over the physical world right now...but they don't have control over the places like "where we go when we die, dream, where the prayers go, etc etc etc). there are many layers more than just this physical layer.
and through the power of prayer/visualization our spirits " go there" and make changes THERE , and then they manifest into physical form later.

so if we want to manifest what we want in our physical reality, it it with our minds and hearts FIRST and THEN with our physical bodies and actions.

also, to the question of who we should fear, i don't think we should fear any of them. because they feed off of fear. literally.

we shouldn't fear them because there is nothing they can do to us, we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. not physical beings having a spiritual experience. they can hurt our bodies but they cannot hurt who we ARE truly.

and i think that is also what jesus was trying to say when he was resurrected. that we have power OVER death. and that death is not the end.
that they can torture us in the most horrible of ways and it can do NOTHING to who we really are as spiritual beings.

and i also think he was trying to show us that things like "lack" are also not real. as he made abundance with the loaves and the fishes. and as he walked on water. he was saying, "see? this isn't what you think it is...it's real but it's not real. this is all IN YOUR MIND."

we just don't believe in our own power and ability to manifest our realities and we sink in the water as jesus walks on it.

ok, i'l stop here as i need to get some cleaning done! but there is a little bit of what i think about so far in life.

 

2:48pm

i'm STILL trying to work on solving this problem with my server on why i cannot access my webmaster email :(
But since i STILL have no long distance i cannot call them and work on this! this is SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING!!!! by the time my long distance gets turned on, everyone would have gone home for the day. FUCK. it will be going on day 5 of not being able t check my webmaster email. so if anyone has sent me an email there, i have not been able to read it. contact me at ana101@hotmail.com if you have any questions or problems or all of that kind of stuff for your subscription here. blarg.

i have to go take a very quick bath now so i can go buy the dogs some food and get mannequin legs out of my storage locker.

 

1:58pm

i can't believe i just typed to my mom about aliens and the annunaki.
gave her a bunch of links. like williamhenry.net and stuff.
so...who knows what she will say to that!

i have so much to do today but it is raining and grey and super humid and warm.
makes me sluggish.
i have 13 dollars in the bank so i may have to go buy some red bull to get my day going here.

i am hopelessly addicted to coca cola again. i went 2 days without it because i had no $ and i'm going nuts! aaaa! need a coke!!!

what i typed to my mom:

when i have time i will tell you where the "aliens" fit into this whole thing. there are many types of aliens.

and WE are even , i believe, aliens as i really do think we came from mars and we travelled to earth when our planet was dying.
just as we humans would do if we could because now THIS planet is dying.
so it's not all that weird or out there to understand how that could happen. there is even actually a pyramid on mars, which is why we have one on earth, too. and if you look into it. no one really knows how old that thing is or even how it was still built.
but a great catastrophe happened (the great flood in the bible being one of them) that wiped out all of this knowledge.

mankind actually goes way way way wy way farther back than modern science will tell you about. there are artifacts to prove this that you can research. but of course a lot of these artifacts get mysteriously "missing" or destroyed.

remember the giants of the bible? those are real. they were actually giants. another race.
remember how the "angels" came down and had sex with the human women in the bible?

that , again, was ANOTHER race. i think they were called the anunaki

there are many many many hypothesis over what is the true story on any of this and how humans came to be.
but from what i can gather modern humans are a bit of a genetic experiment between the early humans and these anunaki.
and one hypothesis states they were just doing this for fun because why not? ( like we do now with cloning and screwing around with dna and all that...so this is not at all far fetched. WE do it. why wouldn't they?). and another hypothesis is that they made us to be workers to mine for gold for them,. they need gold to travel back in forth in space. (kind of like "the spice" in dune).
but we started to evolve on our own and become spiritual beings and then there was the ethical crisis whether or not it was ok to "use" us like animals or to let us be free beings like any other being.

it's really hard to explain this or piece it together because i am only starting to study this now.
and i know it sounds really bizarre. but anyway, that where this whole "pure bloodline" thing started. as certain aliens believe THEIR dna is better and more pure than the OTHER dna of those OTHER aliens. and we, humans, are hybrids of a bunch of these.

but if you research it, you will see that there still is no rhyme or reason, scientificlly, why we are here on earth. the evolution theory doesn't hold water for it all. there are too many missing links. and "corn" just appeared on earth out of nowhere and also flowering plants. there is no evolution to it. there was just all of a sudden flowering plants on earth.

i have NO idea why they are fighting about this and what is the real reason behind it. but it could just be another nonsensical war that goes back billions of years that no one can even remember how it started. who knows?

but these sumerian texts tell all about the anunaki that they refer to as the "illumined ones" (angels, illuminati)
(i'm not saying here ALL angels are aliens or some sort of bad thing, i'm just saying that...early human could THINK of these beings as angels as they would appear very godlike to us).
and they state quite clearly that the anunaki built all the stuff, like the pyramids and that they do indeed come 'from the stars".
that is why our government had to get in and grab all these texts because the hold a very huge key to all of this.
and hussein was collecting them like mad, and he was draining all the marshes in his land trying to find more, and also find the ark of the covenant.
(which sounds like it may be in france actaully, they hit upon a lot of this in the divinci code book which i have not read).
it sounds like the ark is also a technlogy that was used to travel through space and time and if it would fall into the wrong hands could be used as a weapon which is why these governments are on a mad rush to get it.

anyway, then i have no idea what these "grey aliens" are that are the most common alien that everyone sees and encounters.
all people can gather so far is that they seem to be a sort of robot, but that is biological, that comes here to abduct us and take our DNA with various procedures. people speculate that they need our dna to try and fix something in them that has gone wrong. there are 5 million hypothesis.

but our government HAS made a secret pact with them that in exchange that they can abduct some of us humans for their purposes, they will give us some of their technology.

and in FACT, i know this is just like somehting out of a movie or star wars or something...
ANOTHER race, that looked very nordic, i guess , right as we were starting our whole nuclea weapon stuff, came and talked to president roosevelt, and tried to talk some sense into us and get us to stop our nuclear weapons programmes and take a more spiritual route to life.
and they even warned us of the greys. but we were too greedy and said screw that, and instead made a pact with the greys because we wanted MORE weapons not less. so we had this choice then, and our government chose the darker side.

there are a lot of "good " aliens who would love to help us and once in awhile do, but they have that thing like in star trek where they cannot interfere with another planets evolution.

but as soon as we are capable of leaving our star system, then all bets are off and we are fair game.
ALSO, rumour has it, that this pact that our governent has with the greys runs out in 2005. so if that is actually true, it will be interesting to see what happens.

some people think the grey are the "robots" of the reptilians. the reptilians are what david icke talks a lot about. and they seem to be the evilest of all. and it seems our government is working with them mostly. or actually they are "working us". many many reptilains have been seen at the denver airport especially because that is where there is a huge underground base underneath that airport. i have you the url to that.
and if you notice in the mural with the "alien" holding the big sword smacking the dove of peace with it, , and it is also wearing a hat with nazi symbols on it, it very much looks like a cross between a reptilan and a grey.

so anyway, this entire war between cane and able in the bible, really goes back to the war between a few alien races and some sort of battle they are having about us and over us and of earth.

all of this DOES actually fit right into the bible in numerous ways, but since i am just trying to figure it out myself, i can't speak about this with any sort of cohesiveness.

of course, if you believe there can be no other alien beings then this is going to sound psychotic :)

but, several hundred thousand humans on this planet (and probably more because who wants to say they've seen an alien and get called insane?)
would beg to differ in that they have actually seen them and interacted with them.

and the media and the government has made such a joke out of it all, so brilliantly, than even when whole entire masses of people see them together, it's called mass hallucination.

well, in the bible people saw all SORTS of weird things in the sky. (ezekiel with his wheels?)
chariots in the sky, burning clouds. thye didn't have words to describe them yet. that si all.

but it's everywhere. just look at the huge reportings of ufos chasing military planes in mexixo yesterday that is in the news.
and in iran right now, so many people are seeing them, they are freaking out.

oo, i know what book i will give you. it's called "alien agenda" by jim marrs.
it really just goes step by step showing the actual evidence of all of aliens in a very factual and no sensational way.

i would also recommend reading "communion" by whitley streiber.

whitlet strieber is the one who has the onloine radio show called "dreamland"
it is on www.unknowncountry.com
and coast to coast is on the am radio here, i think 1400 or 1500?
www.coasttocoastam.com
but it's on late at night from midnight to 5am.

but i have subscriptions to both of these places and so you can listen to any of the archived shows you want, i'll let you use my passwords.

oh, and not t mention my friend renee, the drummer in my band, remember her?
well she and her entire family are abducted by these grey aliens. her mom, and then her, and now her children.
because they greys watch and take the dna of families over generations.
no, she isn't crazy at ALL. and it's a horrible horrible thing.

and this happens to thousands upon thousands of people now.
why do we never see them? because they have great technology to make themselves invisible is why.
our government has been working on that for eons.
and physics show it can be done in numerous ways.
quantum physics is even now FINALLY getting to the point where they are saying that there are other dimensiosn and paralell universes. well, duh! of COURSE there is.

where is heaven? where is hell? why do ghosts seem to be "inbetween worlds"?

if aliens don't exist and the only intelligent life are humans, then what ARE angels? are THEY humans? no, they are not.
they are extraterrestrials actually meaning they are not from earth. they are intelligent life not from earth.
that is all i am saying! see what i mean?

anyway, there is lots of life on other planets. nasa is just one big huge lie to try to cover up this fact. they are maybe even the biggest part of this whole game. for one thing, thye could show us pictures of the moon that are just as detailed as any photo here on earth.but all they show us is these very not high resolution images of it. why is that? because here are ancient buildings on the moon too. people were there long long long ago.

this goes on and on and on and on....books could be written on it for all of time, and they are....it's all out there for people to reasearch but most people just don't because we have been taught that is a crazy thing to talk about.

anyway, i prpbably now have gone off the deep end for you, but there you have it :)

ok, here is another GREAT guy who has made it his life's mission to
research the ark of the covenant and the holy grail, and things like
that.

he talks about the sumerian texts too and the anunaki and makes all the
connections.

i don't know why all these guys have to have such goofy looking poorly
designed websites,
but....this guy is really good at what he does and has a LOT of VERY
interesting things to say:

http://www.williamhenry.net/

some things on annunaki:

http://galactic2.net/KJOLE/NCCA/anunnaki.html

http://www.burlingtonnews.net/secretsufo.html

here's a bunch on all sort of aliens...scroll all the way down to the "El's"

http://www.burlingtonnews.net/secretsufo.html

 

 

 

2:41am

the canadians are almost done finishing the documentary that ducky doolittle and i are in. i might have a tape of it in a few weeks! i'm so excited!! they said i am going to love it. ducky said she saw some of it already when she was in canada and she was very pleased :) yippee!

12:06am

i know some of these images are overkill. i should have edited it down to less.
but i just have time to think about that, too, and so just wanted to get them up.
this is the make up style my models will be wearing (yes, pris from bladerunner..i know it's been done before a billion times but too bad, i love it.) also that is one of the black dresses the models will be wearing, too. i have 15 of them. i wanted to see how this make up looked like with my hats, and i think it looks pretty good. i think it makes my hats look less "cute" which is what i was going for. i wish my models could be topless. maybe i will have some be topless if they want to go for it, and i will put dict tape over their nipples even tho that has been done 7 billions times as well.
plus it's just easy to do. there is not time for elaborate bodypaint like i wish i could do.

tomorrow i still have to call all the models. i should probably just put these pix up on a webpage for them so they all can look at how i want them to be.

it's raining and i got my period. huzzah!

i wish i had a beer.