May 11th, 2004
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10:40pm

took some pix. good enough. i'm working on getting them up now.
i'm not as photogenic as i once was. harder and harder for me to take a picture of myself that i don't cringe at.
ah well...

and my face is so broken out right now. i ended it just turning up the contrast big time. ye olde great contrast.

8:19pm

i'm trying to do make up on myself of how i want my models to basically look so i can email a photo to these make up artists that will be working with me.

6:10pm

ok, BLOW ME AWAY. but that email i wrote was to my mom. and she wrote back and AGREES with me on it.

ok, now i am thoroughly confused!! :)

4:45pm

an email i sent (when i speak of god and the devil here, i am oversimplifying...i don't mean god as a being and the devil as another being):

oh ya, i am totally into the whole illuminati theory.
as nonsensical as it seems on the surface to those who do not research it, it is actually the only thing i have found that makes any sense as to why the world is so screwed up and nonsensical.

for instance, it makes NO sense why we invaded iraq for "weapons of mass destruction" or to "free the people"
since north korea OBVIOUSLY is more of a threat and HAS weapons. yet we do nothing.
and it makes no sense we invaded because everyone that flew into the towers was saudi.

also, it makes no sense that they hit the towers at all! those planes were up there for a LONG time without anyone doing anything about it in one of the biggest flying zones in america. near many military bases who could have stopped them within minutes.
but they didn't. if you look into it, you will see that the NEAREST bases to the problem did NOTHING.
not to mention many key players didn't fly that day, and many bin laden type people were quickly hussled out of the country before it happened.

and THEN on top of that, if that were not obvious enough that something is awry, a second plane hits 45 minutes later and you're saying the big huge usa military couldn't get their crap together in 45 minutes to stop the second plane?
and then the 3rd one?

rrriiiight.

all of this is nonsensical. and we ALLOWED the looting of that museum in iraq. eyewitnesses say military was there , actually allowing it to happen. because they are looking for these sumerian texts and tablets that hussein was collecting.
in fact, hussein thought he was king nebekenezzer ( i don't know how to spell it), reincarnated and he was in the process of rebuilding babylon. the bricks he was using all were dedicated to that king of babylon.

i know it sounds crazy, but it really is like raiders of the lost ark when the nazis were after the ark of the covenant. (which was actually true, they were and still are). did you know we brought over many of the nazi scientist torturers and gave them sancuary because we wanted their "knowledge"? the nazis , the real ones, never went away. they just went underground.

and that is still actually still going on now. i know it sounds crazy, but if you really research this and see that there IS evidence for this and you put all the puzzle pieces together, it is astounding and more bizarre than anything.

did you know that most of the big wigs of the world, inclusing cheney and bush belong to skull and bones? and surprise surprise so does kerry?
and bush and kerry are related and their bloodline goes back to the queen? what are the chances of that? remember the nazis are very much into bloodlines.

what are the CHANCES that a tiny little "cult" from yale would yield FIVE presidents?

and there are HUGE ties with the bush family and the bin laden family.

skull and bones and sworn alliance to something they won't tell us what.
don't you think we have a right to know? and skull and bones are a cult of death. that is why they are called skull and bones.
this isn't some little fun fraternity "just for fun and games"

and skull and bones people meet in this place called "bohemian grove" every year.
where, i know this is going to sound REALLY WEIRD, but people have snuck in and videotaped it so there is proof of this...
and i can show you the link to that too.

where they all worship a giant stone owl that goes back to an ancient babylonian ritual.
they are dress up like in the movie "eyes wide shut" and then they sacrifice and effigy to this owl called " the cremation of care"
where they burn an effigy of a child in a satantic ritual which purpose is to "kill their care" , their consciences. so they can do what horrendous things they do and not care about it.

george bush is NOT a christian. none of them are. they are satanic. if george bush was REALLY a christian, why is he attending services where people burn the effigy of a child to an owl?? figure that one out.

but of course all of this sounds so bizarre that who would believe it, even when there is evidence right there for all to see?

did you know that tony blair says he "channels the light" to help him in his decisions?
lucifer=light

ALL of this goes back to babylon and it's been happening ever since. it just went underground. what these people want well, is just to be evil, like the devil and cause pain and suffering to trick us away from the true light, which is what jesus christ was trying to tell us about but they have even scewed HIS words to meet their own agenda.

they are trying to get the population down to 500,000 million by creating biological weapons which aids and sars are just the beginnings of.
and all the scientists who helped create these to are one by one dying mysterious deaths so they can't tell us about it.

i can show you websites that name off all the scientists and how many have died just in the last few years alone if you want to see proof of it.

and why do you think they are showing us these photos of the iraqi prisoners now? this kind of torture goes on EVERY day all over the world by us. why leak THESE photos out? because it's stratedy to insight even more violence towards us because of COURSE we don't want to leave iraq and never will. and we need to keep that going so we have to stay there.

they are doing everything in their power to start a ww3 which will happen.

why does the devil want to do this? because he hates what god made and wants to destroy it as he always has.

does this all sound too weird? i know.
but let's just look at the denver airport to show even more proof of what it is they intend to so.

here is a url:

http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Denver_Airport.html

murals with women crying over dead children. and nazis, and women in coffins ( a jew, an american indian, and an african american)
cities on fire, etc etc etc. and words that are in the floor that are nazi slogans meaning "master of death"

but they have the masses so brainwashed now that even when they blatantly show this to us, most people just refuse to look.

and they purposely put out movies that are about this so when we see it happen in real life it sounds even MORE stupid when we say, "gee, this is just like the movie raiders of the lost art, or star wars, or the matrix, or the x files"
because if this all looks like a science fiction movie, then it is easier to discredit all of this.
then of course they throw in the truth with untruths because they are masters at discrediting and disinformation so we don't know which end is up and anyone who talks about this sounds nuts.
they will purposely put websites out there that DO have the truth on them, but they will make them in such a way that when people go to go them
they will add in all sorts of seriously ridiculous stuff like "there is a machine on the moon that sucks up our souls when we die" and other things so we then don't believe ANYTHING on that site or anything anyone else who then talks about it. and they purposely put really nutty people spouting about it in the media so that ANYONE who speaks about it looks like a nut.

and WHY do we have the pyramid on the dollar with the eye on it?
that is the symbol of horus or something, which is the OWL.

i can also show you maps of how washington is laid out so that when you look at it from above, it is an owl.
and there is a glass pyramid that was recently made that is a scuplture there with exactly 666 pieces of glass in it.
it goes on and on and on and on.

other people who belong to this cult are many of the bigges media people. time/warner aol. cbs. notice the cbs EYE like "big brother:, like the eye on the dollar. and even aol's symbol is a pyramid in it with an whirling "eye". they like to blatantly show their symbols to us because they believe it gives them power.

everything in washington and even nasa is built in such a way as to express all these symbols that have everything to do with this egyptian/babylonian thing that has turned very satanic.

if you really start researching it , it will blow your mind. because there is SO much evidence that there is no way you can just brush it off as mere coincidence.

i'm not saying george bush knows everything that is going on and it completely in on all of this. he is obviously not the smartest person in the world and he is just being used as a stupid pawn. everyone we see on tv is a pawn because then they can take the fall when things go wrong and those truly in power are safe.

anyway, that is just 1/10th of 1/2% of things i believe, and many believe are going on.

and i have just begun to scratch the surface.

i'd love to talk to joel about this.

i know this sounds just crazy. and then when you add in the whole "alien" thing into the mix of it (which is really the root of so much of this),
then i really sound nuts. but since i personally know people who are abducted and i have seen the psychological damage on them and their families, i see it is real. and plus all the other huge encyclopedias of proof that are out there for those who choose to actually look at it.
i won't get into that with you because it's so large i would never be able to even summarize it.

but there you have...some of what i think about and believe. :)

 

added note:

they also do all of this to keep our energies low and keep us always in a state of hatred, fear, and despair...because to keep the masses at this low frequency, which hinders us and impairs us in our spiritual journey towards love and "true" light. this makes us easier to control and well as many other things.

 

3:23pm

ok, i've picked all my models. now i need to call all of them. 10 women and 5 men.
i guess i'll just tell them what it is a do, and that it will be futuristic and that i want them to throw candy into the audience. and that i am on somewhat last in the show. and need them to bring black tights and black high heels shoes, and for then men, a pair of black boots of they have them.

i feel a LOT better than i did yesterday. i feel a lot more focused and i feel a lot more motivation.
i'm kicking some ass.

now i need to email the choreographer and say i don't need much from him. and just a bunch of other stuff.

and i need to get down to the management office for my building so i can get into my storage bin so i can grab the bottom 1/2 of some of my mannequins so i can work out the entire outfits all 15 will be wearing. aaa! so much! but i can do it!!

i'm SO glad that i have mannequins! they come in handy for almost everything i do!

 

1:53pm

ok, my server, janey.net called me and they are working on straightening out what is the deal.

and i took 1/2 a xanax so i am A-OK now. better living throug chemistry. wee ha.

gonna play some misc and get this entire confusing model picking situation cleaned up.

if i had a vanilla coke right now, life would be so much better.

1:43pm

ok, SO FUNNY!

they TWO people who help me to call my server is 1. btripp and 2. my mom!!
(if you have been following everything for a long time and have also read UTB, you would find this insanely hilarious at the dichotomy of that :)

thanks btripp! and i guess thanks mom.

wow, my mom really DOES incessantly read my lj! my goodness.

1:31pm

i put in my lj asking if anyone would call janey.net for me, my server.

now i am must figure out this damn model thing and who i am going to pick as my 15 models. and i guess i have to pick the male models without even being able to see them? ya. makes sense.

and then after i pick then i have to call eac and every one of them. god only knows why. but if that is what they want me to do then yay.

i fucking hate the telephone.

and i found out that the day i made the appt for my hair is the same day as some super important meeting for this. AUGH. augh augh augh.

i'm sorry to complain so much. but this is just the way it is going to be for aawhile. i am stressed, i have pms, and i need to vent.

 

1:14pm

so, they SAY i will have long distance on my phone tomorrow at 5pm. we'll see.
anyway, doesn't do me much good NOW when i need to call my server people and ask the why i can't get inot my email for 4 days. and if i can't get my email, i don't know who unsubscribed. and if i don't know that, i can't put the credit cards through which means i have no money coming in. so this sucks big donkeydick.

1:04pm

went to jason's and found his phone which was dead and not even plugged in so i was like wtf?
then i remembered that he got rid of his phone a few weeks ago and only has his cell now.
suckfest for me.
so i am going to try to get long distance on my phone again.

i have tried 3 tiimes over the last several years to get long distance on my phone. being put on hold for several thousand years, etc. and for some reason, even tho they say, ok, you no w have long distance, i NEVER do!!
and i hate callling up about stuff like this SO much. because i get put on hold and no one knows their ass from their head that i avoid this at all costs and instead just live without long distance.
well ok, i will try AGAIN, to get my phone co. to GIVE ME LONG DISTANCE!

gah.

can u tell i have pms?

my boobs are sore.

12:36pm

ok, i paid my electric bill. *whew* i think it will be ok.
big fucking relief load off my back i was seriously freaking there but trying really hard not to.

my server people have still not gotten back to me about me not being able to get in and read my webmaster email so i'm going to go over to jason's and call them because i don't have long distance on my phone.

i so much want a cocoa cola right now. i would kill for one.

i hear irish bagpipes outside my window.

2:02am

i'm doing better. but i just would like to be held very tightly for several good solid hours.
and then for the housecleaning faeries to come and clean my house.

1:44am