april 14th, 2004
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10:58pm

i thought claritin was the answer to my prayers. i finally was able to breathe for an hour. and then POOF, it stopped working and i'm all clogged up again even worse than i was before. and it's supposed to last 24 hours.

argh.

i have spent my day in a cold medicine haze. i hope i go to bed soon.
i will have to try to fall asleep breathing through my mouth.

but i'm still (and it sounds insanely goofy to say...blame it on the cold medicine) floating a bit from fantasia's fantastic performance on american idol.

wow, i either rule for feeling that way or really suck for feeling that way
for now, i decide i rule for it :)

 

8:30pm

the apprentice

did anyone tape all the apprentice shows so far?
i never did watch it, but now i wish i had.

american idol

holy moly, fantasia's performance on american idol tonight blew me AWAY!
she has been my fave all along, and i didn't know she could sparkle and shine any more than she already had, but then she did! wow! she has "it". she's the real McCoy. (what is a McCoy anyway?)
i haven't seen a solo singing performance that good on tv for quite sometime. the power, frailty, sadness, sensuality actually reminded me, strangely, of judy garland in her later years. not that she sings anything like judy garland whatsoever...but she does in the way that both of them give it their all and put their entire souls into it and there is this sadness and desperation that is very powerful, moving, and edgy and it wrenches your gut.

4:05pm

the ana physical update #38954854:

i couldn't get back to sleep. all i can manage to do is stare at the tv.
even tho i took nyquil, i'm still stuffy and it's causing my head to ache all over.

1:48am

finally got to sleep at 7:30am. woke up at 1pm.
answered questions here.
now i am tired again and i will go back to sleep even tho it is a wonderful gorgeous day and i want to be in it more than anything.
my cold rules my body and says i must sleep. sleep is the best medicine to get healthy again.

6:13am

what? you don't want an update on my physical pain? nonsense!
you must know!

i've been awake all night with a damn headache. hurting eye sockets , and it feels like i have vice grips on my jaws and teeth. aaaaaaa!

 

3:41am

can't sleep. heart beating fast. nervous. headache. jaw aches. hot. restless. thank god i have coast to coast to listen to.

1:00am

sometimes all nyquil does is make me intensely nervous :(