april 10th, 2004
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4:13pm

for me to remember what my room looked like
at this time in my life.

 

3:34pm

got in touch with my old friend, teresa p.

and then sent an email to my other friend, theresa s.
this big long emotional thing i needed to say several years ago.
and i won't get into here as it could still cause further drama to do so.
and i don't know what made me say it all now. maybe it is just one of those emotional days.
but now i need to cheer myself up in a big way and get off my sorry ass and stop wallowing in the past.
and i have 2 hours to get my act together before i go out.
so, i am going to go now sort through all my clothing and see if i can put together some fabu outfit that will actually fit me and also be comfortable to be in for hours and hours.
of course, i never feel lke going out on the days i have to go out. i'm always glad once i finally get out. but it is like pulling teeth to get me out there.

i feel like wearing men's pajamas and hiding in the closet with my puppies and watching movies.

i hope i do not run into anyone i know tonight. i'm not in the mood to explain to anyone what i've been up to for the past few years.

1:37pm

got up even earlier today. good thing!
in 4 hours jason and i go out to eat with his friend at a thai restauraunt and then we are going out to hear squarepusher.

my dreams are stuck in my head and they are making me feel weird all over.

the part that sticks out the most was a gigantic python and a lion each having a death grip on each other.
the lion and the python met in the grass and each bit each other a really huge bite and then locked on like that.
and each bite was equally strong and big and so it was a deadlock (no pun intended).
and all that was left to do was to see which one would die 1st.

there were a few guys documenting this with cameras. i don't know if i was one of those guys, i don't think i was. i think i was just watching them document.
and i almost wondered if the film crew had arranged for the lion and python to meet in this way so they would have something amazing to film.

the other part of my dream was i was playing violin in a school orchestra and we needed to get to some outdoor party to play for people. it was dark and cold out and we had to walk in the dark and the cold to get there. i had no idea where we were going and my hands were freezing and cramping up and i was trying to find gloves for them without getting too far behind everyone.

back to the nskae and lion, some guy then decided it was ok for him to snuggle up and spoon the lion since the lion was completely occupied with holding his bite on the snake. so this guy just sat there spooning him and petting him and even dangling other tiny things in front of his mouth. and i just thought that was really dangerous and stupid to do. and also very disrespectful to the lion.

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money spent: $179 to my server