February 24th, 2004
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11:59am

this post here:

http://www.livejournal.com/community/crochet/638271.html?view=4553791#t4553791

i posted this in reply:

it makes me so sad to see people devalue the value of crochet (and craft in general).
50 bucks is not that much money for a shawl.
it's fine if you don't want to pay that because you can make it yourself. but that doesn't mean that someone who wants to sell it should not be allowed to set a reasonable price for their product without being criticized.
i don't know if a machine can crochet, so maybe those are machine made....but it is just so deflating and diminishing to see people say they think that price is ridiculous for those people who DO create shawls by hand and then sell them.
because say it took you 5 hours to make a shawl (which i'm sure it really is more like 10 to 15 hours to make one).
that is only paying yourself 10 bucks an hour (not counting cost of materials) and that is BEFORE taxes or social security is taken out.
and that is not much. and that is not much to ask for a person to ask, for their time to be compensated at a minimum wage price.

but probably the people who created these shawls got paid way under that. because places like urban outfiters marks things up 3 times.
so if they are selling it at 60, that means they bought it for 20.
and the company who sold it for 20 probably marked it up 3 times,
plus cost of materials. so the person who created maybe got 5 bucks for it, tops. and it is this very sort of thing that made us spoiled to buy our crafts for so little money in the 1st place. because the way economics work is to get workers in mexico and other such places to work for slave wages so we can buy our craft type things for a low low price. and because we are so used to seeing these low prices, we don't realize the true value of our work. because we are not seeing the true value of the worker to begin with.

and so, i wish that we, women who craft, would try to end this cycle
of deflating/devalueing/diminishing what are TIME and LIFE is worth.

food for thought.

11:30pm

2 sides

working on one of my many unfinished hats.
i keep looking at the silver bubblehat and hoping i will make another one that pretty. i still have not made the ULTIMATE hat for me.
strangely, i like to wear hats that other people have made better. i think because it still holds some mystery for me. i wasn't there for it to be made. i know nothing of it. i like that mystery to remain. like i thought that once i started spinning i would not want to buy anyone else's yarn. but i still do. weirdly, it's even more precious to me, (or maybe just precious in a different way) when it is something i didn't make. ya, i guess as i ponder this as i write it, it is definitely just precious in a different way. i know how precious my things are that i have made, to me. as i have a very difficult time parting with them. it's painful, really.

i keep putting beads on my watch list on ebay, then realizing i cannot afford all that, i take them off. i just want everything right now. i want to touch it all and examine it. i want to explore it's possibilities. it's maddening.

i'm kind of in a so-so mood about these 2 hats i must finish that i have been working on for 500 years, it seems. they just don't seem as cool as the silver bubble hat so i feel like abandoning them because i just don't see the point in making them if they can't be better.
but i have to remember that the silver bubble hat was almost abandoned and i even almost threw it away a few times thinking it was quite possibily the ugliest thing ever. and then all of a sudden (after months), wham, it made a complete transformation. and maybe it turned out so cool , in part, because i had completely let go of it ever being a very remarkable hat and so it was just able to bloom in it's own way without, it felt like, much effort on my part. i don't even know.

i have to remember that the reason i love crochet so much is that i had no expectations on myself of it trying to "be" anything. i wasn't trying to make it be art, or even to push my boundries, or do anyhing remarkable with it whatsoever. it was like blind doodling you do when you are nervous. it was more like fiddling with prayer beads or a rosary and just by pure accident, there just happened to be a byproduct that sometimes ended up looking nice.

i always want crochet to remain something that is a no pressure thing for me. no pressure to be good at it. and no pressure to improve. i have 2 sides of me always that battle themselves. the part that just want to be really free about things and not care and make paintings that are paint splatters. and the part of me that wants to dedicate myself to one project and focus on it so much, and use so much disipline that it becomes something as intricate as the sistine chapel.
i am the punk rock chick who wants to slam out 3 chord garage rock and the arty brooding chick who wants to create the world's greatest symphony full of nuance and texture and depth you can lose yourself in.

crochet was nice because i didn't have these 2 sides of me battling each other yet...since i wasn't good at it yet...everything i made was of the 3 chord type. i had no CHOICE but to do it that way. and so, it was peaceful. EVERYTHING i made was good to me, since everything i made was the best i could do. but now i have upped the anty (anty?) on myself and i don't know if i can be happy with myself if i make anything less than remarkable.
but i am going to try to just say fuck you to the perfectionistic side of myself and just make really stupid, simple, crappy, ugly hats if i FEEL like it. something something something...i don't know how to say that right.

i don't know. i have the part of me that wants only crayons and the part of me that wants only oil paints. i just have to let each side get it's equal time. it's hard for me to balance it.

i wonder if there will ever come a time where i have made all the hats i want to make and i'll just be done with this. i do that with photography. there have been so many times where i have been like "man, i have photographed EVERYTHING i can now (in my surroundings.if i go to a new place, i can be inspired again) and i cannot even FATHOM how i could possibly take another photo of the things around me. and then, just one day, i do take new pictures and i am inspired and i don't ever know when that is going to happen or why.

as i wrote in another journal entry the other day:
"i realize that limitations very much more often than not force me
to think in new ways that i would have never thought or created had i
not been brought up against that obstacle. i am the QUEEN of that.
i am the queen of "stick me in a room with a dirty rag, a jar and some
toothpicks" and i'll create not only an opera from it but i'll pull
several rabbits out of my ass while i'm at it."

i think i'm typing this all out because i am putting off working on that hat. so i will rip my hands away from this computer now and go stare at it some more.

7:23pm

ate: chicken lean cuisine tv dinner and snickers ice cream bar.
put load of dishes in the dish washer and load of clothes in the washing machine.
now it is rather noisy.

the cam seems really dark and i can't figure out what is the deal with that...
even when i put it on nightvision it seems darker than average.
does it seem this way to you, too?

or is it just me and my computer monitor?

oh wait...maybe i just needed to turn on the lights in my room.
and i THAT out of it? :)

jason bought the x box dance dance revolution game :)
that is the new way he is excercising and i am going to do it , too :)
haha :) he is really good at it!

jason's over...

6:46pm

money spent: 33.93 on:

dog food, marble jack cheese, 2 lean cuisine chicken tv dinners, 3 tins of kippers, 5 bottles of coke (one of them the new lime coke, i hope it is not as gross as the lemon), a red bull, a snickers ice cream bar (have to try one).

last night that burrito made me a bit sick and my stomache is just finally settling down now.
i'm nuking a tv dinner.
dealt with issues in the photocontest community.
banned some people from my yahoo group.
went to the little store for food.
stilll have the ana2 credit card stuff to deal with today.
and in 10 minutes it's american idol and then america's next top model.
i'm totally addicted to reality tv again.
i don't know how many of you watched my big fat obnoxious fiance show, but it was seriously intense!
and the littlest groom i think had to be the all time most boring and lame reality show i have ever seen.
thank god it was only 2 episodes.
i feel like spinning yarn lately and not crocheting.
but what i need to do is clean my hosue, so i am going to do that very fast before my show is on.
and then i will probably crochet and not spin.
i didn't wake up until 4:30pm today which was totally ridiculous.
i just need to move to australia where i will be on the right time schedule.
i need some fresh air and sun.
and i have spring fever IMMENSELY.

5:24am

my dogs like to look at me while i crochet, sometimes.
and at look at them back and say, "what? whaaaaat?".
maybe they just like to look at me like i like to look at them?

new names i call my dogs:

bhush (all U's pronounced like MUD, not like prez bush)

bhush monkey
bhush mix
christmas bhush
bhusha boe
bhusha bhusha bhush
monkey mush
piggalo
piggalo piggalog
piggy push (pronounced like mud)
musha mush
pusha
pusha bhush

money spent lately:

12 bucks on a bottle of wine and some diet coke

2 burritos and 2 cokes from chipotle:
14.17

from target:
2 sharpies: 1.95
plastic beads for hats: 14.99
diet dr. peper: 1.19
tax--1.18
total: 19.31

a mattel knit magic machine from ebay (that has an extra feature on it than the one i have now does not have) 79.05
(but i sold a hat today for it, so hey, i break even!)

things eaten lately over the last few days:

1 steak burrito, 3 eggs, some french fries, cheese and pretzels
and i can't remember what else...

 

+++

hat update:

knit magic and snow spider hat

sold the golden silk hat today which is the exact amount of money i needed to buy myself another mattel knit magic machine. this one has a lever on it that the one i have is missing. and according to meredith, it will allow me to switch over to make a flat panel instead of a tube. so i am excited about that. those knit magic's are sure getting expensive on ebay! they used to go for 30 bucks and now they go for 70! (at least the ones that have that little lever do) yikes. i just wish they still made them new! if i ever won the lottery i would start a company that makes them. and i would make them in all different sizes so you could even make a tube large enough to make a sweater.

someday i want to buy one of those old metal sock knitting machines.

i need to get a wyr knittr, too.

i'm working now on finishing a very simple elfin type hat that i started months ago. i call it the snow spider hat because it is made from a special yarn that pluckyfluff made that is a shimmery grey yarn with little spiders and spider cocoon things spun in.
and the rest is white furry mohair.