February 17th, 2004
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money spent: 34.99 to renew anacam.net for 1 year

10:53pm

 

10:45pm

trying to stay motivated and make myself finish hats that i haven't finished yet.
i really have to force myself to complete projects sometimes.
ate another almond butter honey sandwhich and had an old piece of frozen pizza.
drinking tap water. yum :/

it feels good to have the discipline to complete these things, tho.

5:23pm

i keep forgetting to write down what i eat.
ate today: almond buuter and honey sandwhich. i eat a lot of those lately. it's cheap.
i think i typed so much lately i am completely typed out.
went on a hyper spaz typing binge there.
time to shift my focus.
got the audio book "zen beginner's mind"
and "creative visualization"
and now i have the 1-800 # i must call to cancel my subscription to audible.com
jason told me it took him 20 minutes to cancel his and so i do not look forward to it, knowing how much i hate the telephone.

3:22am

12 reasons why gay people should NOT be allowed to marry:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control. or someone born with a genuis IQ or an extra finger.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful or the tv show "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer life spans or women working outside of the home.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will. and separate water fountains for blacks and whites worked very well, too.

2:57am

how to make a hat (or a spaceship)

when you start out learning to crochet something...

start out using only crappy yarn u don't care about so you won't care if you make any mistakes. choose a plain kind of yarn (like good old white acrylic yarn that is nonfuzzy) so you can see your stitches.
then detach from all your expections and goals of how you want your finished piece to look and sometimes even what you want it to be.
let it be what it wants to be and let it lead you on a journey, not the other way around :) that is most important.
leave in the "mistakes". almost everything i have ever made has lead me to a better place than i thought i wanted to be when i left in the mistakes :)

almost like if you were building a house very slowly, so slowly that trees starting sprouting up inside the structure of your house (trees=mistakes/serendipity). but you decide to not pull up the tree and you change your plans a bit and build around it and incoorporate it in. pretty soon you have a lot of trees and the floor plans you had have to be rearranged as you go, so much so that the entire house is now a different shape than you had originally planned. but once you look back on what you have made you will see that your house is even more spectacular now than you ever could have imagined and you cannot imagine wanting a house without all of those trees growing through it. and the trees actually took you on a journey you did not expect and you learned more about architecture than you would have learned if you had stuck to your original plans. and maybe your house isn't even a house anymore but a treefort or a spaceship :)

this is how i make my hats :)