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January
31st, 2004 |
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6:01pm
in 2 1/2 months i will be 38. soooo weird.
5:59am
i didn't hear anything back from
karla. hmmm.
and the email i sent the other person to see if that account was still active
did not bounce back to me.
i have no idea if they read it, tho, because maybe they have a filter on their
email which only lets certain emails through and maybe mine was automatically
filed into the trash because it was on the list.
i hate not knowing.
i feel really out of it today.
7:48am
ok, i emailed karla, of the blue up?
"wow, amazing to hear from you.
to be fairly and perfectly honest,
as much as i'd love to know how you are and catch up on everything because
we go way back and have such a history and i do care about you,
i must admit i am still quite hurt that you left us high and dry in the middle
of the south with shows still to do with not so much as a goodbye to me.
i mean, you just LEFT me without any explanation or goodbye. i was very hurt
not to mention the shows we could not do becaue you left.
and so we just went home.
and it was awful. and i understand that tensions ran high at the end there.
and i totally understand that we had different ways of going about things
at that time, and just different everything.
BUT...i would have, at the very LEAST, expected an explanation...and if even
not that...a goodbye of some sort.
i know sometimes things can get so crazy and intense that sometimes it is
hard to explain or say goodbye and that, for your own sanity, you just have
to get the heck out...but maybe , after all this time and distance, you could
let me know now what was going on with all of that....
because it hurt me....
and i'd really like to have this resolved and rectify this....
i hope you will reply"
scary.
i also emailed someone else who means
a great deal to me to see if their account was still active.
if it is, i will then tell them some very important things.
it has taken me a few years (i think...time flies) to get the guts up to even
do that.
i have been putting it off for years because sometimes it is worse to hear
nothing back than to hear anything. i'm scared. but i am glad i finally did
it just to get it over with.
i hope they write back because i
need to talk to them.