January 22nd, 2004
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8:16pm

ate tuna steak from yesterday.
i'm watching CSI.
gonna work on a hat now.
i took a bunch of pictures that will be in tomorrow's anagram
(in a few hours)

6:23pm

brrr it's cold. 4 degrees. *shiver*
i made photocontets moderated to cut down on all the stupid drama. you would not believe the crap i have to deal with in there. i wish i had thought of making it moderated long ago. i also made it so that all comments are screened, although, i do not know how that will work in a community.

had strawberries and blueberries for breakfast and i'm baking a butternut squash for dinner. yum!

i was going to go out for dinner with joanne tonight, but she canceled because it's too cold.

i need to turn my heater on. even tho it is so cold, i still have to open my bedroom window around noon because it gets so hot in here from the sun.

4:20am

put mouse over pic for 2nd pic

 

3:32am

i am seriously wondering what is going through some people's minds who try out for american idol and are so obviously terrible terrible singers but in their mind they are fantastic singers. i mean REALLY wondering in a very serious way. not in a way that is funny but in a way that just forces me to contemplate perception.
i mean these people have some sort of self perception disability. like anorexics think they are fat when actually they are deathly thin. these people think they are wondrous singers when they cannot even carry a note and they do seem genuinely shocked and insulted when they are told the reality of the situation. it confuses me very much, as you can see it really confuses the judges , as well. the thing that is most disturbing about this, though, is that it is so prevalent. and i wonder if people have that sort of capacity for obvious delusion, shouldn't that be seen as some sort of mental disorder? well, you can look around the world today and see that there are many people who are seriously handicapped in the perception category and that is one of the reasons, if not THE reason this world is so fuct up. but this bad singing thing, i'm talking about the REALLY bad singers ( if you've watched the show you know), is such an obvious example of skewed perception.

i'd like to follow those people around for awhile and study them to see if the perception handicap is manifesting itself in other places in their life. and when they return home and see themselves on tv, are they then able to see that they cannot sing? or do they still remain in their delusion? and can they tell when other people are bad singers? i am so extremely curious as to what it is all about and if these people maybe have something wrong with their brains...like someone who is colourblind.

i just want so much to somehow project myself into these people and experience the world as they experience it because i seriously cannot understand this very strange and widespread phenomenon.

if i could understand this, i think i could then understand a LOT more of why the world is the way it is.
i understand how we all have our differing perceptions on things.
well, as much as i can. but most of these perceptions i have always believed come from what we have chosen to be our beliefs/values/opinions.

but to try our for a singing contest (and you know what this singing contest is looking for because it has been going on for years and these standards have been set by the popular music of the western world which we have all been bombarded by from every angle) when you are a terrible singer and then be shocked when you don't make it in...is unfathomable to me unless you are either mentally handicapped or insane and it has nothing to do with a person's beliefs/values/opinions. and it's SO many people!

we all have our opinions on what is good singing and bad singing, but with a contest like american idol where the standards are pretty clear (whether or not you LIKE that kind of singing or not is irrelevant) it really isn't much of an opinion to say that some of those people are the worst singers the world has ever witnessed. it is just a fact. a fact like "contest A is looking for blueberry pies...if you are a blueberry pie you will get in. if you are a kitchen table you will not."

if you are a kitchen table and think you are a blueberry pie, you are mentally impaired in some way. and the fact that this seems to be such a prevalent occurence in people is really alarming to me.

because these are the people who can do things like VOTE and perhaps even RUN things somewhere in the world.

and i'm just...mystified!

it's all fine and dandy to just laugh it off as entertaining television, but when you really start pondering the ramifications of that many people with that level of delusion...well, it really is frightening.

 

1:15am

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