October 13th, 2003
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11:27pm

the movie was beyond bizarre. it was a kung fu movie that was about 2 warring sides of different types of communism, i think. it was just...indescribable. and i don't know if it was a joke or if it was serious! it was called something like "can dialecticians break bricks?" something like that. i have to get a copy of this somehow and see it again.

jason is stressed and overworked and it has me stressed, too.
i'm trying not to soak any of it in and be grounded.
and i had kind of a crappy day, too, after it started off rather well. my brain is a bit overloaded.

5:03pm

the combination of that monster drink, no food, and pms has made me feel quite sick, discontent, and irritable.

4:52pm

what a drag , i went all the way to the p.o. and it was closed because it's a holiday today.
what holiday is it???

1:27pm

today i must make it to the post office and also clean my house.
and tonight is movie night with my friend carolyn.
i bought a lifesize plastic owl o ebay that i am going to spraypaint silver and use in some cam pictures.
i have a good life :)

i'm drinking one of those monster energy drinks. it tastes just like red bull.
i think it might be a bit much for me now...i'm feeling a little wired.

i want to tell you everything i have been thinking about in the last few weeks, but i think it all needs to soldify more.

1:10pm

can i tell you how much i love dreamland?
i have made it almost through the entire archive now.
and i want more. it's just the greatest site for interesting interviews and that's all there is to it!
what a treasure that site is :)
my favourite part of the day is when all is over with and it's the middle of the night and i turn it on and crochet.

it used to be watching globe trakker and crocheting that was my favourite thing.
but i think i've seen all the globe trekker episodes now.
have you ever seen that show? i LOVE it.

if i could pick what i want to do with my life right now...
all would do is travel the earth like in globetrekker...and crochet on trains.

the things that stop me from doing that is lack of $.
but hopefully someday i will be able to.

1:04pm

jackhammers jackhammers jackhammers.
when will it end?
this is what i deal with all day long.

i can't wait until i can get a decent undisturbed sleep.
it unnerves me and grates me.

stream of consciousness:

fish fry in the pancake house i've nowhere to go anyway this day this pray all tell for sure in the ring sounding lament ding fring ling wing hing hung wung stung my like a bee in the tree bee he should go there too and then maybe you'd like it as well down there in the telling field i'll weild the knife in the life of the hand in the corner of the room and go there i'll pray in the fresh glue in the hides of others in the falling snow in the windy grass you never told me you were a doubter you never told me that you had pie on your face and you never told me that one word you could never speak unutterable sound all the round table knights gotta see you now all flowery and gay and trenchcoats in may and wilting bits in the window of your soul so go then if that is where you want to be and never look back

12:38am

another stream of consciousness:

ten ways to make them leave is all i ever wanted to go forth and beam into light beings future timetables of never loving push me pull yous. there decidely it went on and on and on never ending wishful thinking it went for the grand test for the grand well wishing future holdings and off the cliff into the well.
there it lay until someone passed and went into the ring and sold the soul to the cost effective way of consolidating all your wishes that come into your head and never appear and never leave leaving you with an open ended statement of lost foreverness love and heartache.
i went in there anyway and pulled the lid off of it. damn it i said there is nothing that can stop me from putting my fingers in and tasting that first slurp of nothingness there is nothing that can stop me from pulling that lid off and emptying out the contents of an open mind open ended future thoughtless roads to nowhere.

12:32am

words i wrote that came to my head stream of conscious for 1 minute:

tubular timetable testy ticky tanny webby lover beings wishful beasty future lively never push table wine wicker wistful lost posse numb didley wisky fervor nine ten ishy wash lot cost

what on earth does it mean?