August 26th, 2003
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10:34pm

i feel more stable now that i ate.
i also found my paint shop pro 5 disc and got rid of paint shop pro 8. i hate paint shop pro 8. long live paint shop pro 5! i also got aloecam on my computer so now i can grab my webcam pix on my main computer instead of my old failing computer.

if my stuff my my storage wasn't saved somewhere, and i'll find that out tomorrow, i'm going to see what sort of legal action i can take. because i don't think i should just have to swallow a loss that huge with no compensation for it at all. not only do those have priceless value to me, but it is family heirlooms, AND it is/was part of my entire art project i am working on with my documenting of my life and that totally fucked up my lifelong art project BIGTIME.

now i'm going to work on getting more pictures up for you since i have paint shop pro 5 on my computer now.

8:20pm

i'm going to go get some food with jason and try to calm down...

5:41pm

help wanted
i can't bear to think of the rest of my things being lost into oblivion like i just lost almost everything from my storage locker being dumped...so...i want to get my journals typed out and the photos i do have scanned so i can get this stuff up on the internet. and also all the articles i have scanned and typed out.
i can't pay in $ because i can't afford it...but i can pay in things like making you a hat or hats (or scarves or arm warmers or sweater), i can give you my music cds which there are precious few left, or i can pay you in free ana2. i also have lots of nice things you might want.
so i'm looking for if anyone would want to come over here, to my house, and help me with this project?
i don't want to send my journals or photos in the mail because i just don't trust the mail with it.
i could put on tunes, make you tea and pancakes, and pay you in these things...you could even put it on your resume that you helped to organize and deal with anacam.
if anyone is interested, email me ana101@hotmail.com

5:28pm

gone.
this has been the worst day.
now practically everything from my childhood is gone. i had a storage locker here, and for some reason it was totally emptied out. and they don't even have a record that that particular storage locker was mine even tho i KNOW i told them.
there's nothing i can do. i can't even prove that storage locker was mine if they never wrote that down.
i feel like i have switched into some terrible parallel reality.
everything up through 12th grade and beyond was in there. every single letter and birthday card i ever received from my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles, my parent's beautiful wedding photos, an oil painting my grandmother did of my parent's wedding. all the stories that i ever wrote as a child, all the drawings i did as a child, baby photos, report cards, all my yearbooks, letters from dear friends, memorabilia from my music career, beautiful posters... and more things i'm sure i will remember later...
all gone.
all of it just gone.
all of it priceless and irreplaceable to me.

i just feel fucking sick.
if bad things hapen in 3's then i hope this was the 3rd. first my friend dies, then my paypal gets shut down for some inexplicable reason, then this...

1:34pm

here are some naked pix from yesterday, and then a bunch of other pictures i had on my harddrive from week's ago tha i was saving , but don't know why. so here they all are...in no particular order.

some might be boring to you, but i like to keep a picture diary of the mundane moments, too, because when i look back on them years later they hold a lot of memories for me. like how my room looked at that time and what my hair was like and little things that i will forget later that are fun to remember.

 

fucking paypal.
jesus fucking christ. i can't BELIEVE this shit. paypal "limited" my account again. those MOTHERFUCKERS! saying i violated that code again of taking $ for my adult website or something. what the fuck????? i took off EVERYTHING from my website. and it's HARDLY fair to say i violated a rule when they CHANGED the rule on me, didn't tell me about the rule change, limited my account, and then i took off everything paypal from my site immediately. THAT is violating a rule?? how can i vioate it when i didn't even know about it and when i found out about it that very second i complied??? i mean give me a BREAK!!!! and i complied within the very hour that they changed the rule?

now they say i have done it again and i fucking DARE them to find that i have violated a damn thing!!! who is giving them this misinformation about me and what the fuck???

last time this took almost a month to clear up. and now how long will it take?
i am SO ANGRY. i am beyond angry!!!!!! what a piece of shit company.

i'm like, take off that i violated that rule in the beginning because i DIDN'T , i mean c'mon!!! you'd think they could give a good customer a BREAK! you wouldn't think i have to have this violation thing on my "record" with them. and now that i have, supposedly, violated this rule TWICE. i'm like MY GOD! what am i a juvenile deliquent? because that is the way they treat you!

now "someone will email me shortly". ya, i've heard THAT before. i'll get so damn form letter. and it will go tell me to fax in this or fax in that. whatever!

no one knows jack shit over there. all those poor paypal empolyees just reading me my rights that don't know jack shit about what is going on. GAH! it's just as bad or worse than the government.

thank god i only have 15.00 in there right now that i JUST transferred in to pay for some beads i bought on ebay. of course they ALWAYS wait until your $ is transferred in and THEN they limit your account.

those fuckers. thank god i don't have tons of people waiting to pay me for ebay stuff. GOD!!! i am so angry.

why did this happen to me? what the hell?????
i am sooooo angry!!!!!!!!