|
August
6th, 2003 |
|
||||||
8:01pm
7:18pm
after today, only one day left of being alone. i'm starting to get used to the fact that jason is gone and adjusting. by the time i am adjusted, he will be back. i can't wait to be in his arms again.
i got the pictures off my camera and onto the comouter so i'm getting closer to getting them in an anagram for you!
i am sooo sleepy now. i'm watching a thing on the spartans on pbs.
i should clean but i don't think i will as i am soooo sleeeepy. i feel like i could just go to bed right now.
my belly is full of cous cous.
5:48pm
ah, i made it to the bank and i made
it to the p .o.
now nothing will bounce. there was a possibility that nothing would have bounced
if i hadn't made it to the bank, but now i know for sure nothing will and
i feel a lot better.
i'm proud of myself for making myself
get out there and do that even tho i didn't feel the greatest and it's really
hot outside.
and it was good excersise!
now i need to make myslf eat. i made
some cous cous. but i'm just not hungry even tho i didn't eat anything yet
today.
and i hope i can motivate myself to pick stuff up from the floor and vacuum.that
would make me feel a lot more peaceful to see a clean floor.
i got some more fiber that is brown
baby alpaca mixed with handpainted silk that am going to mix in with my expensive
other fiber that i showed you. this is sure turning into a huge expensive
project. and last night i found 8oz of pure white bunny angora fiber for only
19.00 i don't even know why it was that cheap because usually angora is 6
bucks an ounce, at least.
so i couldn't pass by that opportunity...and now THAT, too, will be mixed
in with that most luxurious of luxurious of fibers. i will call it the yarn
from heaven. i still need to buy some white silk thread. and i am going over
and over, i my mind, how i want to go about sinning it. there are so many
ways. thing is i really need 2 niddy noddy's, a lazy kate, and 2 extra bobbins
to do it the way i think it needs to be done. so i don't know what i am going
to do about that. because i really want to play the yarn, but i am not set
up for plying. plying is when you take 2 yarns and twist them together. this
makes the yarn stronger, and it's also very decorative.
oh, and i got this neon green uncarded super fluffy wool that is gonna so kick ass when i spin that up!
no more buying any fiber for me now until i have spun all that i have.
3:39pm
jacqui bought the hat and scarf from
me and i received a money order i was waiting for.
so i payed my server bill and now i must get to the bank so i can pay my electric
bill.
i am just 1 dollar away from anything bouncing in both of my bank accounts
( personal and business).
i'm feeling highly unmotivated to go outside today and rush around. but i
have to because i want to make sure nothing bounces and i need $ to buy some
food and stuff.
my stomache is kind of upset today, tho. i barely ate anything yesterday...i was just so hyper...and i suppose the red bull and rice krispie bar for breakfast didn't help things. :)
at least this is forcing me to get
outside and the walk to the bank is good excercise...
so...must...get...motivated...now.
the bank closes in 1 hour and 15
minutes.
6:37am
i am so happy...in this moment.
the only thing that would make it better would be sushi and nuzzling in to
jason...
he just woke up in the mountains of virginia
i am (perhaps?) going to sleep.
i shall meet him in the astral plane.
i told him to find me there and come wake me up!
i need a good lucid dream.
i'm going in search of food...
5:27am
i thought i was winding down but
jacqui called out of the blue and , like a freak of nature, i answered the
phone.
i love, you
jacqui!
sun's coming up...
3:29am
ok, i'm winding down...i feel like i've been around the world in 3 days and i'm exhausted. soon i will sleep..and sleep a long time...i hope....
2:19am
ohmigod, i was just trying to sing
along to VenusHum's "Ilumine"
and sebastian howled and howwwwwwwled along. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
how am i going to get back into singing? :)
1:25am
Why We Will All Go To Jail
by Ana Voog
because at 1am, when we are stoned,
or drunk, or alone...we will have to go search for that song...that song that
we heard when we were in our cool aunt's car floating down that country road
at what seemed like a huge speed at age 7 or 10......and our cool cigarette
smoking aunt said, "my favourite colour is ORANGE", and we thought
and pondered and then after a slight consideration said "Me, Too!"
and that time....for that first time we felt we belonged and we were rebels...both...at
the same time. For the first time we both separated and merged....and then
that song came on the radio...like it was meant to be...like it was talking
to YOU...to you and that moment...in perfect synchronicity....."someone
saved my life tonight, sugarbear..."
We have no idea what that means...but somehow we KNOW it has great significance
to US, to our lives, and to what will become...
the car zooms and suddenly the car feels orange. everything does. orange like that year...orange like butterfly halter tops and tequila sunrises...who even knows what tequila was? but sounds good. keep on truckin'.
who knew that someday we'd be FORCED
to find that song as if our life depended on it.
on soulseek or kazaa or...
"it's 4'oclock in the morming
, dammit!
listen to me goooood
i'm sleeping with myself tonight. sick and tired.
thank god my music's still alive!......"
"and butterflies are free to fly...fly away...."
i love you mysterious aunt of mine
who disappeared years ago from the family, never to be seen from again.
your brother and i miss you greatly.
thank you for the colour orange and elton john.
thank you for that perfect moment.
i'm so happy it holds so much energy
that i can draw upon it now to make me smile
even now, decades later...
"someone saved my life tonight..."