July 9th, 2003
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10:36pm

i thought i was not going to get much done today, but then i made up for it later on. i got all the little book orders in order. emailed lots of people about lots and lots of things. made some packages for some people. i want to make little packages for everyone. i'm just trying to get things in order and make things right no matter how small it is. i found a few pussy tv books that were printed on just normal paper. i'm going to crochet little pouches for them tonight because they are not bound then i am going to sell them. i got rid of a huge garbage bag worth of paper i do not need. yay for getting rid of paper!

4:16pm

i have a 2nd video capture card in my computer now, so i could put in a 2nd cam. if anyone has a camcorder they'd like to send me that they don't use, or wants to buy me a new one...i could give you free ana2 in exchange or something else you might have in mind. i'd like to put the 2nd cam in the bathroom.

3:42pm

if i had a yard it would probably look like this

so amandacam has completely disappeared off the face of the earth.

and it looks as tho five eyes (www.iiiii.com) is also gone.
i'm sure not many of you, if any of you at all, remember 5eyes, but that is where the whole camgirl community started back in 1997.

i think the only original camgirls left are me, isabellacam.com, venuscam.com, jennicam.com, and camgirl.com...although camgirl.com wasn't live very often and would go months and months without being on at all.

i have a feeling i am not going to make it outside.

3:33pm

the deadline for that book has passed. that was extremely stupid of me to not take advantage of that. oh well. lesson learned.

2:22pm

i woke up with anxiety. that is how i usually start my day. i'm trying to stay in the present moment, but it's completely foreign for me to do so. i'm going to take a bath and then go to the post office. i also am going to work on the paper stuff so i can get it to my accountant. my dad wrote me an email explaining things a bit more. but it didn't really explain more to me and i don't know if i have the energy to write him back today. i think i have to sit on it awhile and see it from all angles before i speak too emotionally.

i got this letter in april from someone who was putting together a book of eulogies written by the people who are still alive. they want mine, too. i totally forgot about this letter and i may have missed the deadline. i looked at this letter further and realized it's from larry king! but his name at the bottom is just a stamp of his handwriting and not his actual real signature. it makes me wonder how many of these "he" sent out. i am confused as to why they would want mine in a book that contains eulogies by people like alan alda, maya angelou, art garfunkel, donald trump, ted turner, yoko ono...the list goes on and on of big names.

i highly doubt larry king even knows who i am. i wonder who sent this letter to me REALLY? and i do hope i didn't miss the deadline. i hope there is still time to get mine in, because it sounds like a very interesting book.

i'm going to go scrounge up some food now, take a bath, then get outside. the 1st time i will have been outside in days and days.

what are you up to today?

3:33am

i wish i had known "pioneer quest" started on pbs today. pbs has the best reality shows. i hope they replay it.