december 26th, 2002
past anagrams * menu

9:31pm

i need professional help with organizing my house. i'm going insane.
and i can't be there when it happens. i just have to leave, have some one come in and organize my existence. then come back. i'm am seriously going insane over this. i need help desperately. I AM SO OVERWHELMED AND DEPRESSED.
it can't be my friends coming in and helping me because i would feel too guilty to put such a task in their hands. i need a professional organizer.
someone that i will not feel totally guilty about if they come in and see what a mess i have.
HELP.

I NEED MONEY FOR SHELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED MONEY TO BUY DRAWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need someone to help me with all my PAPER. FUCKING PAPER FUCKING PAPER FUCKING PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need help with my cardboard boxes full of PHOTOS and newspaper clippings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need help with my cardboard boxes full of buttons and art supplies and yarn and
I NEED A BOOKSHELF!!!!!
AND A CD RACK!!!!!!!!!!
and somewhere to put my cassettes!!!!
and something to put my keyboards on so i can PLAY THEM!!!!!!!!!

and a place that i can set my plate down to EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am fucking going insane.
i am fucking going insane.
i am fucking going insane.

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I LOSE MY FUCKING MIND????

IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO CAN GIVE ME SOME HOPE??????????????????????????????????????????

7:19pm

if i DO have cyclothymic disorder, then i guess this must be a few of my "down" days again because i'm just trying to keep it together and find hope and my creativity again.

too boring to really get into. just financial woes getting me down again, mostly. freaking out about that.

that and having no room in my house and no sunlight. same old same old.

gonna clean the house some now.

6:22am

ireallymeanitthistime.org

.net

.tv

really, i am so outtahere.biz

5:17am

i'm falling-over-in-my-chair-tired.
i'm goingtobednow.com

4:44am


ok, i think i'll go to bed NOW.

4:16am

mouseover

i guess i'll try to sleep now.

2:22am

mouseovers

i finally downloaded the koolkam again
http://www.koolkam.com
i forgot how much i loved it because it has so many new filters for me to play with. i definitely have to use it more. i would use it 24/7 but it will not ftp to 2 different urls at the same time. which means that if i want to put the same cam on ana2 as i do anacam, i would need 2 computers and 2 separate cams. if it would just do this one more thing, it would be such a great programme for me!
argh! so frustrating because i want it on all the time right NOW!

12:00 am

movies i saw lately:

star trek : nemesis
LOTR: the two towers

both i recommend seeing very much! :)

i saw the ya ya sisterhood movie on pay per view the other day and i didn't really like it as much as i thought i would.
i saw panic room, too. that was ok.
------
jason has a few days off of work so i've been hanging out with him :)