anagram 12.07.99

aluminum haikus from thee anaverse:

by moby
i nuke the fast food
wrapping makes sparks! sudden flames!
curses! foil again!

by magic
Foil Hats, Cell Phones
Radio waves inside, out?
who was I calling?

by Stacy
Inevitably
The foil on Hostess Ding Dongs
Sticks to your fillings.
(ouch.)

by Jerronimo
oh flattened metal
my you are so reflective
watch me crinkle you

by EmmettSL
Aluminum foil...
foil the aluminum
and move on.

too bad i didn't have anagrams since the beginning of my cam, 'cause i've received so many cool haikus! but i think i have saved a few somewhere. but from now on i can put them in here :) also, i think i will change the name of the private anarchy to "anaverse", i think that suits it better. the public one can be named "anarchy", 'cause that still suits it! yep, i just changed it! dunno 'bout the colours, tho....it's hard 2 get colours right on computers, for me at least.

so i went 2 the dentist today. i don't think i've gone 2 the dentist for almost a decade! and i was really nervous 'cause i hate going 2 the dentist. when the take x rays and they stick those paper things in my mouth u have 2 bits down on, it hurts me so much because my mouth is so small and those things weren't made for small people i don't think. so they took 18 x rays and i REALLY want copies of them all so i can put them on my site in anatomy, but they are ten bucks a piece! argh. i asked them if they could x ray my whole skull, that's what i really want! ooooo. so if there are any doctors out there who will x ray my skull for me, please let me know. i'd like to have my whole body x rayed and put it on my wall life size!

the girl doing the x rays thought i was a complete weirdo she kept staring at my hair. and i saw one of those rubbery furry squishy ball things that u can play with, and i like 2 play with those things when i'm nervous so i asked her if i could and she just thought that was the weirdest request. whatever! so i played with the blue one. then the dentist came in and she inspected every inch of my mouth and made notes on each and every tooth! i don't think i've ever had such a thorough dentist! all said and done they said my teeth were in remarkable condition and said that i should be commended! yay! :) i know how 2 brush my teeth! ya! but i still need 2 floss, so i'll start doing that now. then the appointment they had after me cancelled so they asked if i wanted my teeth cleaned , too..so they did that. and while this other woman cleaned my teeth she had me hold a mirror so i could see what she was doing and she showed my ALL this stuff about my teeth and how to make them in even better condition.

and they had a sale going of 1/2 off the price of getting your teeth whitened, and my teeth are super yellow, so tomorrow i'm going back and they are going 2 make molds of my teeth to make trays from so i can have perfect fitting trays tyo stick the gel in that makes your teeth white. i guess u have 2 leave these trays in 2 hours a day and it takes about a month to get them white. i hope i can deal with that. i asked how much it costs to get that cool ultrawhite porcelain stuff that game show hosts have on their teeths that make them look completely unreal, yet compelling..and it's 800 bucks a tooth! so that is gonna be happening for me anytime in the near future! yikes!
i am just SO relieved i have no cavities, i cannot even TELL u!i DREAD going 2 the dentist! but this place is pretty cool, it's all women in there and they were all kind and gentle :)

that was part of my day, the other part was talking to a merchant account rep 2 get the merchant account into my name, 'cause right ow it's in my friend zachary's name. that stuff is so complex 2 me. but i'm learning it all more and more, which is good, 'cause i should know EVERYTHING about my cam stuff! duh!
then i came home and ate a burrito and lavished in the thought of my great teeth that kick ass! ya! go teeth go! ( or should i say..stay teeth stay? )

then i've been working on this and changing the colours of anarchy2, that is now thee anaverse :) and jason went 2 bed an hour ago, and now it's ten. he is stressed 'cause he has a big mcsc test tomorrow. i hope i don't stay up as late as i did last night freaking out making 3 friggin menus for ana2. i was really having such a fun time making them until i realized they all sucked! and i worked on them for 14 hours, too! but it's all a learning process and learning what not to do is just as important as learning what TO do.
ok, that's all 4 now..oh, except u should go here:
http://dust.net/data/
and read the poetry of six six sect six who used 2 go under the name :film: in irc. everyone was aggravated with him because he made lots of colons in between all his words and didn't make much sense. but i loved him so much because he talked in poetry. he wrote me an email a few days ago that said :ping: :)
the words he makes up are SO familiar to me and so beautiful it makes me hurt. it must be a secret space language..or perhaps it's just dutch!

ok, i just keep adding 2 this anagram every hour! so here are some more haikus from fellow anacammers:

by phred:
Aluminum foil,
Chewed hard, with winter-dried teeth:
Chills right up my spine!

by spiral:
some call it tin foil/
really, its my wallpaper/
it is my fetish/

by celtic king:
Shiny, crinkly hat;
protecting my tender brain
from their influence.

by bill:
aluminum foil
protect my head from the sky
government mind rays

cafeteria
i bit it, then shrieked in pain
aluminum foil

here are some posts i made at the anaverse:

Posted by ANA on December 06, 1999 at 20:16:46:

i made a cooler menu at www.ana2.com/private
let me know what u think of it....does it load for anyone too slowly? because if it does i can make a
non graphics menu as well!also there are new anapix up and a new anagram :)i've been working on this stuff all day! since 11am, now it's 7:30pm, my brain is fried!i think a little television action is in order :)

Posted by ANA on December 07, 1999 at 02:19:54:

In Reply to: Re: new ana2 menu posted by edges on December 07, 1999 at 01:42:01:
ya, i know..argh....blarg....
it's so hard 2 convey so much info in a small amount of space that is easily understandable, and i am adding so many new things to the menu the old one is becoming outdated. bleck.
*sigh*
i will keep trying...

In Reply to: Re: new ana2 menu posted by ANA on December 07, 1999 at 02:19:54:
14 hours working on SO much. SO much i want 2 do something cool :( and i am just sucking with creativity. it's such a horrible feeling 2 have put in such a huge bunch of work only to realze in the end it all sux. god, athat really bites. i wish i could wake up tomorrow and be all happy with my new designs. but i know that will not be the case. the more i look at the designs the more i hate them. it's sooo depressing. but such is life. can't make cool stuff everytime. shit happens. argh, i just really wanted 2 do something 2 lift my spirits and give me a feeling of accomplishment and make all of u happy 2.

i know i'm whining. it just sucks. it might be awhile until i make another menu. i have 2 rethink everything and that takes forever.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

In Reply to: Re: new ana2 menu posted by ajo on December 07, 1999 at 03:16:53:
thanks for the kind words :) ya, at least i did learn more about tables today, and i few other things. so it enhanced my knowledge of that. and also, learning what DOESN'T work is just as valuable knowledge as learning what DOES work.
so all is not lost. it's a process. the day wasn't wasted. i learned what didn't work, and also that u cannot force creativity ( i knew that one already, but damn i just had to learn it again! )

now i'm starting 2 settle down a bit. and now i'm reading the chapter "the law if least resistance" from deepak chopra's book " the seven spiritual laws of success"

that is what i strive for..."the past of least resistance" ( although i've been pushing myself into resistance today )"living in grace" , "bending like a reed in the wind" all that.

i probably should have just meditated in the sun today and done some stretching and stuff today.
oh well, lesson learned...again :)

and what the heck..at least there's a link up to the orbs of wonder room now ( in toys )

i gotta get a sense of humour about this and stop being so bloody serious! * fluffs up invisible fur*

yep..yep..yep....
*deep breathing"

gonna go light a candle and some incense now.

tomorrow at noon this guy is coming over to my house 2 talk 2 me about merchant account numbers ( tres fun )
and then at 3pm i have a dentist appointment..the first in many years ( tres tres fun! )

i have 2 get 2 sleep in 10 minutes if i'm gonna get 8 hours. ya..not likely!

after the dentist maybe i'll just read a book and chill :)

In Reply to: Re: new ana2 menu posted by bmegirl on December 06, 1999 at 21:37:52:
thanks! but i still still unsatisfied with all the menus i've made. argh! but now at:
www.ana2.com/private
there is a menu of menus!
the silly menu
the serious menu
and the no frills menu

THEN when i was making the no frills menu i realized that i had left off ana musiq from the other two menus!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

i have been working for 12 solid hours..seriously i haven't even eaten except 1/2 a sandwhich. i don't think i've taken a break at all. i think i definately need to get away from this computer now and just try to get tired 2 go 2 sleep!

anyway, there are now 3 menus, not including the cool old one that is slightly out of date...but that one is still prettiest, imo.
but it wasn't easy to understand i don't think.
i don't know!

here! have some menus! u can tell i really started losing my mind when i made that silly menu.
i dedicate the silly menu 2 dankitti!

In Reply to: If this chatroom was a real room... posted by astroboy on December 03, 1999 at 21:03:55:
i try to keep up to date on all the posts here, but i can't always, i get caught up in doing a TON of things. sometimes a few posts might slip by without my noticing. it just happens, i'm human! :)
about your post below that u were sad i did not reply to ( no i wasn't trying to prove a point by not replying to it..what point would that be?)
spiral sent me a picture, he was the only one. if u want to send one u can send it to:
anapix@voog.com

i love to interact with everyone in here, but just like everyone...somedays i'll read this bbs a ton, them sometimes i'll go for days not reading it because i'll get caught up in doing other things.

there are about 15 bbs i read and post to, so i'm pretty busy just in that respect :)
and that's not counting the rest of my life and eating and sleeping and cleaning and putting up anagrams and adding and deleting people from the mailing list and making sure the sleepstation is in order, and answering technical questions, and playing with the dogs, and doing interviews, and watching oprah, and calling my friends and just everyday life stuff. so please please do not be offended if sometimes i post slips me by.

plus i have a lot on my mind lately and i'm really distracted and i've been depressed.

there is just a lot going on in my life. it's hard to keep up sometimes.

but i have to say that interaction with me is not guaranteed because u are a member of ana2. i mean, u can interact with me and not be a member..there is the public anarchy and there's my newsgroup and there's my chat room i'm in a ton to name a few. being a member of ana2 won't guarantee a reply from me 100%. i just have to set that record straight. i mean, i talk when i feel up to it, just like everyone else, k? so please don't assume the worst of me if something slips by my attention :(

what this bbs is about is that in here we don't have to deal with drive by posters and a lot of the insanity and disruptions that happen on anarchy1. and in here i also feel more free to be more personal and share things i might not share with anarchy1. this is the mellow coffeeshop bbs, and the other is like a lawn full of who knows what yelling like jerry springer..and that's what makes that place fun, too. :)
and in here we have all you other wonderful creatures who i adore so much :)
i don't think this bbs is special because i post here, i think it's special because we all post here :) everyone brings so much to this table that is why anarchy2 is the place to be, imo :)

i hope that clears a few things up 4 u :)

In Reply to: Re: If this chatroom was a real room... posted by astroboy on December 05, 1999 at 21:42:34:
just 2 reiterate, it's best not 2 expect anything from me. the whole anacam experience is like the weather..the only thing certain about it is that it will change. u just have no way 2 know for certain what is really happening in my life or what frame of mind i'm in or what state my computer is even going to be in. i can never guarantee u a reply, even if it is addressed 2 me. i try to keep on top of everything, but it's impossible 2 always stay on top every question, post, email etc. that comes my way. even my mom gets pissed that i never call her back! i rarely even answer my phone. i even have some extremely good friends who i lost track of years ago who who wrote me an email a few weeks ago and i still have yet 2 respond 2 them. that's just the kind of person i am...i am hard 2 get a hold of. i'm not trying 2 be a bitch..i'm just laying it on the line about how i tick. maybe someday this will change...but this is how i am right now...so if u are always going 2 be expecting a reply from me on each thing..i can assure u that u are going 2 get pissed at me a bunch of times

In Reply to: crying while recycling posted by edges on December 07, 1999 at 01:32:16:
argh, edges. that is what my anagram was about...looking at feeling good about it instead of feeling angry about it. i'm working it out, but i'm NOT going to do something i don't feel good about. and i'm working on myself to change the part of me that is stuck in seeing that issue in the limited way i have.

i think if i AM literally imploding with negativity to the point where i feel i could die..then that IS justification to STOP doing the "social responsibilty" and take a few large steps back and rethink things so i DON'T implode with negativity. i don't think u realize how deeply i am affected by these issues and how at times in my life they have almost ripped me apart.

my first responsibilty it to myself to get happy and healthy because i'm not going to do anyone ot anything any good if i'm dying inside.
it's the same thing as putting on your oxygen mask before assisting others. it just makes sense.

a DEAD me really just doesn't help, except that i guess there would be one less person on the earth making garbage if u really want to think of it that way..whuch i have. i have thought before that the only solution would be to die in order that i should have to make no more garbage or kill any more things to eat. but i really don't think that's the right way to go about things or why would there be life at all?i wasn't talking about a "little trifle bit of uncomfort" i am talking serious suicidal pain when i have tried in the past to digest these issues. it's a really heavy thing for me. it's not anything like "oh, i really don't feel like carrying that bag of aluminum cans to the recycler"

and it's more than that but i just can't explain it any clearer or further than that at this moment

and i don't think that guilt is EVER EVER EVER a healthy thing. i will take a radical stand on that. doing things out of guilt is not a healing thing. guilt is what gives dis-ease. i refuse to be motivated by guilt which is such an intregal and sick part of this society, imo.

i am working this all out, as is said in my anagram. it's very simple and complex like everything.

there is nothing DRIVING me to be wasteful! i said that i give THANKS for things and honour that. i said a lot about about being wasteful in my anagram. i do not consider myself a wasteful person. i think i could do BETTER, but i'm far from wasteful.

i think it's HARD to buy anything to eat that doesn't come in 5 million containers around it. or any product for that matter. it's impossible to live without garbage in the modern society, at least that i can figure out so far.

if i had the $ to go build the dome house i want with the solar panels and wind power and garden and raise everything myself, i sure the heck would! that is one of my dreams! but i cannot start a compost heap in my apartment nor go to the bathroom outside without being arrested :)

blah blah...ya, i'm jacked up..it hasn't been a good day...and i'm just like ARGH. i think u were missing what i was trying to convey in my anagram.
and yes, this is just one of those issues that gets me really upset and i don't really know how to not get upset about it, which is part of what that anagram was about.

it's one of those "pushing my button" issues
and i'm trying 2 get 2 the bottom of it in my own way. i can't force it or rush it.

Posted by ANA on December 07, 1999 at 04:28:09:

In Reply to: vegans and recycling posted by astroboy on December 07, 1999 at 03:56:29:
exactly!

it's deeper than recycling. at last paper and aluminum are biodegradable. it's things like "lunchables" that make me sick with there billions of plastic containers within containers of completely unrecyclable stuff.

but then u should pick plastic to save the trees!

and what about all the water that goes into cleaning all that stuff before it can be recyled?
it's just endless.

which is why i really feel that what it really boils down to is to do the thing that feels the most joyful for u. somehow...to act intuitively and from the heart on these matters and NOT take action because of guilt, fear, shame, keeping up with the neighbours, being PC, vanity , "one-upping" anyone, etc ...but i also do not let sloth, gluttony, uncaring feelings dictate your actions either. it's not an apathetic thing i'm talking about. i'm saying be MOVED to DO something because you would have just done it anyway..regardless of the state of the earth..because it comes from the core of your being to do so.

i know that guilt and fear don't seem like concrete things like an aluminum can, but i really feel that to recycle because of fear and/or guilt..will..ultimately bring this earth down faster than not recycling. because i believe everything is made of "energy" the same energy that makes that can. and the guilt energy is real and just as damaging if not more so to the earth and all her inhabitants. of course, that goes against science and logic perhaps...

well, that is a subject i could really write about a trillion pages on..but i'm running out of steam here bad...maybe i'll be able to explain myself better tomorrow :)