anagram 113001
misc. anapix! etc.

i need a loft for my king sized bed. [26 Nov 2001|07:37pm]
i feel very hostile. is it because the moon is in aries and my floor is red? or did i paint the floor red because i'm an aries and i wanted to shake things up a bit and i needed to come into whatever chakra is red. whatever.
all of a sudden everything seems both pointless and very exciting. i don't know how it can be that way. but here it is.
my blood sugar level dropped dramatically because i had coffee. i quickly sucked down a few sweettarts that cydniey had mailed me eons ago. thanks cydniey...those saved my life :)
i also have some pez that jacqui gave me. i think i might attack those next.

i need to find someone who can build me a loft in my livingroom for my bed. anyone around who can build me a really good loft for a king sized bed?
and i wanna have shelves and the couch then underneath...like in my old apartment...for those who might remember. and then i wanna string it all up with xmas lights

[26 Nov 2001|08:44pm]
if i covered my mattress with liquid latex...would that waterproof it for at least several years? as in: if sebastian peed on my mattrress...could i just wipe it off with no odor left over if i liquid latexed my mattress? because i have several gallons of clear liquid latex.

i'm painting my grey couch white, then over that i'm either going to paint it red or silver. i'm just using latex house paint. and yes, it works fine :)

[27 Nov 2001|04:54pm]
i'm out of red paint. family issues are bugging the living crap out of me today.

letter i wrote to my dad today [27 Nov 2001|04:59pm]
(this is a friend's only post) (*** indicate a name withheld, not a swearword)
dad, i'm sorry you are stressed.

i am doing everything that is humanly possible to get these screens into the hands of the art institute.
i don't know why you insinuate that i am not by telling me to "hasten the process"
the screens are fine and safe. the screens will make it to the institute.
i am doing everything i can. i have called the institute. they have called me. i have called them back. we have spoken. we have been planning arrangements ALL this time.
they are fine with everything. they are calm. i don't know what this **** guy is saying to the lawyer or what the lawyer is making up in his own mind or if someone in the family is saying weird things to the lawyer or what to make this lawyer be so wiggy. it's not like there is some sort of asian art crisis going on at the institute or something. the institute has waited 400 years for these screens...i think they can wait a FEW days more....which is exactly what they WANT to do. since they are not coming here this VERY second but NEXT week.

i am VERY sorry that you are stressed. i know that you've had more stress on your plate than is fair or that you can handle. i know that stress can make people say and do things they normally would not do and say. i hope that is the case here with these emails that you are writing to me.

your emails are very insulting to me now. because you are insinuating that the screens are possibly not safe with me and that i am not doing everything in my power to get them to the institute.
i told you that i called the institute yesterday. i also called them TODAY. then they called me back.
now a woman named *** is in charge of this and not the **** guy. the insitute are tentatively coming here next tuesday afternoon to get the screens.

as long as i'm just getting this all out:
i am really just beyond angry over how i have been treated because i have these screens here. i don't need to threatened to be sued over absolutely NOTHING by the lawyer in charge of *****'s estate. i don't need you to be giving my phone # to an abusive woman ( that "cousin" ) who you KNEW would say those things to me that were so very hurtful. THIS...right after i told you of my great sorrow with mom and how what i was going through was worse than a death because of what she thought of me..and then just DAYS later...YOU LET this woman give it to me AGAIN! do you KNOW how HURTFUL that was? do i really need to be kicked yet AGAIN when i'm down? did you even THINK about that? was that passive aggressiveness on your part or just absolute cluelessness as to my feelings?

ya, i know you didn't want to "get in the middle". but you were and you did and that is the way it is.

you could have told her that NO, i will NOT LET you say these hurtful things to my daughter. my daughter has had enough of these hurtful things said to her already. my daughter is grieving over the death of her mother because of these things. i will not LET you furtherly DAMAGE and emotionally ABUSE my daughter. but you LET her. you LET her call me. because you would not tell me what she wanted to say to me but you knew darn well where she was going with that. which only leads me to believe that you WANTED her to say these things to me because you, also, believed that they SHOULD be said to me and you didn't have the guts to say it yourself. so for your convenience and so that you don't "have to get in the middle" and you be the mr. nice neutral guy...you passively aggressively or cowardly let her be the bad guy so you wouldn't have to.

and then all these emails that really just grind down further any sense i have that MAYBE could be treated like i could actually handle anything of value or worth or importance. no wonder i have anxiety and no feeling of a support system when my own FATHER doesn't even have the ENERGY to even stop a simple schoolyard bully ( like the "cousin" ) from emotionally abusing me.
man, i know you're low on energy because of the life choices you have made. but here *I* am. another one of your life choices. at LEAST , as a father for his daughter, stop a simple phone call from happening to me that actually led to further emotional damage. not so much damage because of what she said...but damage because YOU had the power to stop it from happening to me THAT time....and you DIDN'T.
ya, i know that as i write this it's all coming with a lot of baggage attached to it. i wouldn't be so upset if this were only an isolated incident. but this whole screen ordeal and how i am being treated about it is really symbolizing and summarizing , for me, how i feel i've been "looked upon" for quite some time now. and i'm frankly sick of it and deserve better.

anyway, the screens have been folded safely in the hallway for weeks now , out of any harms way. they will be out of my house within a week...so sayeth Thee Institute.

ironic that these screens were painted by a Zen Buddhist. *sigh*
c'est la vie

help a man cut off his feet [27 Nov 2001|06:49pm]
http://www.cutoffmyfeet.com/about.html

"Since Paul is on Medicare/Medicaid, his insurance will not cover the amputation and new prosthetics because it is not deemed a necessary procedure. Paul also receives medical disability and his Medicare plan does not even cover the cost of his catheter bag. Paul doesn't want to fight a no-win battle with the insurance and medical communities in the United States.
Paul is using this event as a chance to speak out against the lack of care in the medical field and the insurance industry. He strongly believes that this could make great strides in the much needed insurance and medical reform in the United States. This amputation is simply Paul's way of saying that even though corporate america has refused him, he will get his new prosthetics and improve his quality of life."

Paul and his friend, Kevin Nicholson, came up with the idea to charge internet access and cut off Paul's feet on the internet. By charging a small fee for the webcam access, Paul will raise the money he needs for the operations, prosthetics and rehabilitation.

this is a friend's only post:

"I'm sorry that you also have been put under stress because of these
stupid screens. They are not worth anything compared to my relationship
to you. I'm sorry you had to get messed up in this situation.

When you told me that "arrangements had been made" I interpreted those
words to mean that a time and date had been set to pick them up. I told
the lawyer that you had made "arrangements." When she called again on
Monday she told me that "arrangements had not been made." I didn't know
what to make of this. I guess I should have asked you what
"arrangements" had been made but, as you said, you are an adult and can
take care of these matters so I didn't pursue it any further with you on
Thanksgiving Day. I was trying to be careful of not accusing you of
anything in my e-mails, but I will admit that I began to wonder what was
going on. As you said, "I don't like to get into the middle of anything"
and here is a perfect example of how you can get busted as the middleman
between several parties. Well, anyway I'm glad that things are under
control. Thanks for trying to reach the Institute. I agree that they
bear some of the blame for this hassle.

As far as *** goes, again, I am sorry that I suggested she call you
and speak to you herself after she complained to me about the (here we
go again) "screens." {I do believe those things are cursed in some way!)
She told me she didn't like having them on your web site and I thought
she could tell you that directly. I did not know, as you said, that she
would start an arguement with you or abuse you. (Part of my problem, I
guess, is that I assume everyone is going to act like me and you know
that, because I'm very non confrontational, I probably wouldn't do
something like she did.) That was a big mistake. As to my hidden
subconscious motives in allowing this to happen, perhaps you're right
there too. I know that, as the Bible says, "the heart is devious" and my
heart is certainly not "pure" in that regard. So I ask your forgiveness
for the things I have done to you that I am aware of and the things I
have done to you that I'm not aware of. I take responsibility for the
fact that I have "sinned against you" and ask for your forgiveness. {I'm
not just trying to sound pious here. I really mean this.)

I hope today can be a better day than yesterday. In God's grace I
believe it can.

I don't know if you're still willing or interested in going to the
concert with me tomorrow. If not, I can understand, but I plan on going
and would still like to have you go with me if possible. Please let me
know, one way or another.

Love,
Dad"

The people of Afghanistan do not accept domination of the Northern Alliance! [28 Nov 2001|12:43pm]
RAWA's (Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan) appeal to the UN and World community
(taken from http://www.rawa.org)

Now it is confirmed that the Taliban have left Kabul and the Northern Alliance has entered the city.

The world should understand that the Northern Alliance is composed of some bands who did show their real criminal and inhuman nature when they were ruling Afghanistan from 1992 to 1996.

The retreat of the terrorist Taliban from Kabul is a positive development, but entering of the rapist and looter NA in the city is nothing but a dreadful and shocking news for about 2 million residents of Kabul whose wounds of the years 1992-96 have not healed yet.

Thousands of people who fled Kabul during the past two months were saying that they feared coming to power of the NA in Kabul much more than being scared by the US bombing.

The Taliban and Al-Qaeda will be eliminated, but the existence of the NA as a military force would shatter the joyful dream of the majority for an Afghanistan free from the odious chains of barbaric Taliban. The NA will horribly intensify the ethnic and religious conflicts and will never refrain to fan the fire of another brutal and endless civil war in order to retain in power. The terrible news of looting and inhuman massacre of the captured Taliban or their foreign accomplices in Mazar-e-Sharif in past few days speaks for itself.

Though the NA has learned how to pose sometimes before the West as "democratic" and even supporter of women's rights, but in fact they have not at all changed, as a leopard cannot change its spots.

RAWA has already documented heinous crimes of the NA. Time is running out. RAWA on its own part appeals to the UN and world community as a whole to pay urgent and considerable heed to the recent developments in our ill-fated Afghanistan before it is too late.

We would like to emphatically ask the UN to send its effective peace-keeping force into the country before the NA can repeat the unforgettable crimes they committed in the said years.

The UN should withdraw its recognition to the so-called Islamic government headed by Rabbani and help the establishment of a broad-based government based on the democratic values.

RAWA's call stems from the aspirations of the vast majority of the people of Afghanistan.

[29 Nov 2001|12:18pm]
grey day. sleepy. errands to do. bah.

it's ALL here, folks! [30 Nov 2001|05:58am]
http://www.archive.org

george harrison died???? :(((( [30 Nov 2001|06:23am]
GAH! HE WAS MY FAVOURITE!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaa :((((((
fuck. *cry*
no words.