anagram 11.22.99

i can't believe i didn't make an anagram for so long! sorry, i'm just really concentrating on other things. u know how it is. life.
here is something i sent 2 my list and also posted in anarchy. i am going to work on a groovy new menu for ana2 today, i think.
there are lots of new things up. go check here: www.anacam.com/whatsnew.html
i'm gonna get that added 2 the menu of ana2. new anapix and stuff are up :)
it's sleeting out. super grey day. a good day to read. i started reading idoru last night. oprah is on in the background now.
the sleet is turning into snow. it feels weird to see it. my mind flips back to all my other winters. too much to take in.

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i was just starting to look through all the cam pictures i saved while i was sleeping last night ( thousands! )
and i put a few cams on my computer screen on that "pipe" screensaver that comes with windows, and the pictures that were saved are so beautiful. it looks like a language. it's taking me forever to go through them and pick out my favourite ones for the next anagram ( i didn't include them in this one 'cause i'm saving them for something else)'cause they are all so delicate and beautiful.
whoever made that is amazing! i like the ones that my old black and white connectix saved the most. it's so old fashioned yet future..the kind of pictures it takes.
if anyone has one of those things laying around the house that you don't use anymore, i'll gladly take it and put it to use. i want to get a bunch more of those but i don't think they make them anymore.
actually, if anyone has ANY cams laying around, camcorders, logitech..anything..that they don't use i'll take them. i'm always in need of cams since i leave mine on 24/7 for years, they tend to break on me a bit! plus dogs knocking them over. so many cords around here. i really need a wireless set up. i wish i had the money to pay someone to set up the perfect cams for me , all wireless. so much i want..just to make my life more simple yet complicated.
i've been feeling really depressed and anxious lately because i want to expand anacam in a million directions all pointing towards less privacy but i'm trying to figure out how to do this without driving jason crazy since he hates being on cam. so i'm going to try to expand it the way i want but only have it in the day when he's at work..or something. something like that. but i do most of my creative work at night so i don't know. i'll try it.
i wish jason didn't mind being on cam. but i can certainly understand how he feels since this is mostly how everyone feels...except me. but there have been times i haven't wanted to be on cam, so i can understand it. *sigh*
what i do is not normal. so far. but i've never been normal, so it's normal for ME.
so i just don't know.....i have a stomache ache and can't eat.
i will tell u about my grand plan, my perfect plan, what i want to do in a perfect world with anacam.

i want a gazillion cams all tiled up like a beautiful moving mosaic on one webpage ( ya, like this won't crash everyone's browser,,,but in the future..maybe near future..it could work) ok, at least 9 cams always going with a streaming one in the middle. can u picture that? it's like a moving always changing cyber quilt collage of life. then , i want microphones everywhere and i want that all into a mixer that feeds into a computer that mixes it, chops it up, adds effects to it, loops it and spits it back out as aome sort of strange sound composition. i could add drum tracks to that..speech synthesizers hooked up to IRC so others could join in and what they tyoed ould become part of the "piece" people could save what they hear and even add to that and make a siong out of it or whatever, then i can put those on my site too..even rebroadcast that into the live sound.

bigger still is i can add more cams from other places in the world, and othe sounds from the world..so pretty soon u have a living cyber world collage ever changing. the ultimate screensaver ( other than the sky which is the best screensaver ever :)

then smaller still , i want to build a structure that i sit in, that will take pictures of my body and put that into a collage. and i'll hook up my hear so u can hear it, and my voice, even my brainwaves and temperature if i can. and it will be this weird moving and sounding body collage thing.

as u can see i need lots more equipment i have no idea how or when i'll get this all but i'll try.

then of course, i'll throw in my free for all internet call in radio talk show that will have no schedule and who knows what it will be so that is exciting.
seems i can't get any special phone # without paying thousands of dollars for it so it might just have to be a regular #, and i don't want 2 do a 1-800 # 'cause i don't want to pay for that, and i don't want a 1-900 # cause i don't want it to be really expensive for anyone 2 call.

ok, and then really down the line or maybe sometime soon, who knows...i REALLY want to turn anacam into a virtual house online that people can walk through and read my libary and fiddle through my medicine cabinets and look under my bed and they can actually come and sit down on the couch with me and watch tv.
i would love to have an archive of all the music videos that don't get played and all the films that don't get shown..
i would be hooked up to my "avatar" ( 3d model of myself inside the house) so i could walk around in there with the same movements as i'm doing in my real life home.

i could put on concerts and ...well, the skies the limit.

i get so excited when i think about all this it just hurts me. as i sit with my 4 cams and one streaming with no sound blinking at me.
and wireless dammit it's gotta be wireless!!!

i would like to figure out how to put together a cyber band that rehearses and plays online. each member in a different part of the world.
ya, others are working on that, too..but so far not with great success

and even if you can do it successfully, nit many have computers that could handle seeing it.

but even if just a few could see it, i'd still do it 'cause it's just so cool.

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ok, there are some of my ideas. i just had to say them 'cause it's the next best thing to doing them
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in other news, everyone keeps telling me i should read the william gibson books in order...but if i do that it'll be forever till i get to the idoru book, and i just gotta read that now that gibson said i was like a garage do-it-yourself version of idoru. my curiousity is all peaked. so that'll be the first i read, i've decided.
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i haven't messed much with the polymer clay to make an ana doll yet, so overwhelming!

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have u heard of this sugar busters diet? my mom, who has been ill with everything in the book for the last 20 years, went on it a month ago, and she is practically all well now and has lost 15 pounds! i am really amazed. she has been so sick for so long. she said she is allergic to many foods, corn being one of them.
so i'm excited to see her this thursday when it's thanksgiving. jason and i are going over there to eat. and later on that day my brother is even going to come, who i haven't seen in years...my dad is gonna drop him off. so the possibility that my mom and dad AND me and my brother will all be together in one spot for a few minutes is pretty cool to me. i hAVE to go get a camera and take pictures to be sure. ( i'm not bringing my cam, i wouldn't be able to point it at anything since no one wants to be on cam)
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my friend carolyn is going to take care of pooka and deiter while jason and i are in san francisco for new years eve. carolyn is the bass player of the blue up? my old band. i've known her since she was 16.
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acedia added to the anadoll...lots of sounds! very strange bizarre disturbing and very very cool!
go take a look at it here:
http://home.netcom.com/~acedia72/anavoog/

i can't stop playing with! it amuses me 2 no end!

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also, just a reminder to everyone that u can always find stuff like that out in the "what's new" section of anacam.

the interview/conversation i had with tori amos is up at http://www.toriamos.com
it's archived there and i don't know for how long they'll keep it up, but i hope a long time!

i still can't believe that is over, or ever started. i feel kind of that sad feeling u can get once a big project is over

i'm just feeling really inward again because i have a lot A LOT A LOT on my mind so my cam has just been kind of sitting there. i'm putting my energy into site grunt work like renaming 250 jepgs and sorting them to put into ana2 "arcana" section. then i still have the anapix to do tonight..so stop by later when i have those up..and i have a few more pages of anapix to add to the archives of that.

i'm just trying to keep busy doing anything sort of mindless so i don't sink into a depression, which i could really easily right now. as long as i can keep getting little projects done here and there it will make me feel better. more solid.

you know how sometimes you'll just clean your house like a maniac because u feel out of control and it's the one thing u can control so u clean? ( ok, maybe you're not like that )....well, anyway..i feel like that. except my house is messy..but i keep cleaning my site. emptying my cache. organizing my folders. deleting mysterious things and hoping that won't fuck up my entire computer.

speaking of which, does any one have any idea of WHAT stuff u CAN delete that comes with windows that WON'T fuck up your computer?
it's a scary line there. i deleted something wrong the other day and then netscape wouldn't open. not like i use netscape that much anymore, sadly. IE kicks it's sorry ass and i really WANT to like netscape more. i really really do but get with times netscape!

i'm drinking a fresca. i'm trying not to eat as much sugar, not because of my mom's new diet...i just drink too much liquid sugar carbonated beveragy things.

but coke or snapple can put a banner on my site any day! hey! coke! snapple! are u listening? ( no)
or those new sobas drinks....they have that lizard on them. i really like those.

don't u just feel bad throwing away cool glass containers like that?

i save all my arizona ginseng tea bottles tho, 'cause they are blue and i collect blue glass.

when i moved here, i left behind my 30 arizona blue bottles i had. WHAT WAS I THINKING???
i had to drink a lot of tea for that! and i want them back! i was trying to get rid of things and simplify my life! but i was WRONG!

i went to leanne chin the other day and saw that they serve a wine that is in a blue bottle. i need to find out where are the dumpsters for those blue bottles because i want to make a giant GIANT blue bottle sculpture! wouldn't that be super pretty?

please leann chin give all your blue bottles to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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ok, what else? i just can't stop typing cause like i said, i am in this manaical mode of cleansing...or maniacal mode of doing things that take no brain power..like typing...or stapling. actually i love to fold paper and staple it. i don't know why. i just always have liked to do that. i'd be great in a factory that needs a lot of stapling done.
i've had factory jobs. one was for this department store. i had to take stuiff out of boxes and count it all to make sure it was all there.
THAT was a drag. plus i had to be there at 7am. PLUS everyone that worked there thought i was a total freak.
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people think i've lead this really easy life or something. god, no way. i've worked in retail all my life for minimum wage for over a decade. i worked as a housekeeper in this hospital once in the ward that is for people who have had major surgery..like hip surgery..so it was mostly old people. so many no one would visit. i discovered a dead woman. it;s a big long story and now i don't have the energy to type it out and jason just came home nad he gave me a hug so i feel better a little bit.
and i think what i need for anacam to expand is just more ROOM, like right now jason's whole office is in th eliving room. he needs more rooms that are just his rooms where no cams can go. and that is cool because it's not like i'm editing mY Life that way, i'm editing out more of his.

but i need a room where i can sometimes sleep in a round bed with a cam right above so u can see the full circle of the bed and me shifting around within that circle. i'm glad i have so many projects i want 2 do that involve sleep, actually sometimes some of the coolest pictures from my cam are me sleeping :)
i just need more room, more rooms. then it could work and be ok, ok, so i'm starting to see that perhaps. *big sigh*

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jason and i are going to sit down now and watch a movie called "happiness" i saw that documentary called "kurt and courtney" last night and was that ever BAD. i can't believe anyone gave it a good review. what a piece of stupid crap that was. poor courtney having stupid people like that hounding her. god.

i know i have more to say..i think i could type all night, but i'll stop now to watch the movie and the dogs are playing like the crazy little nuts that they are.
it's 8pm. i heard it might snow tonight. i hope it does ( cause i don't have to drive in it )

i'm gonna go light up a whole pile of incence and some candles and try to calm down

fuschia glitter nailpolish that chips easily,
ana