anagram 11.15.99

i mailed in all my taxes for the past few years. *whew* got them postmarked in the nick of time. it took all my energy just to pick myself up and get these daily things done. i feel good that i was able to do that. i'm feeling depressed about things i can't discuss. so i feel heavy and each night i just can't wait to get into bed. and each morning i dread waking up. each hour passes painfully away. time lost i could have been using to be happy instead. oh well, no sense to beat myself down for being depressed, that will only make it worse. so i'll just be depressed and be comforted in the fact that this, too, will pass like everything else does. when, i do not know. and now the sun is down at 5:30pm.

now what?

i don't even want to be here. i wish i could just freeze myself until this passed. maybe i can stick myself on autopilot. maybe i already have.
thank god i have anagrams to do so i don't feel like a complete sloth. i haven't eaten anything yet today either, which i'm sure isn't helping my chemistry. i'm not hungry, but i could force myself to eat a banana. jason called to tell me he'll be a few hours coming home late tonight. the sound of the computer hub drives me mad. i want to lay on the couch and watch tv, i guess, now. i'm not sure. i don't really have any interest in doing anything..which is one of the signs of depression. so...i'll just leave it at that. there isn't more i can say on the subject. these pictures are my soul shining through despite my depression :)