anagram 10.22.99
"you are what your
deep, driving desire is.
as your desire is, so is your will.
as your will, so is your deed.
as your deed, so is your destiny"
i still will tell u more about
my trip but right now i feel too typed out. i got in a big ol debate on the
jennicam bbs on peeping moes. i don't know why i even get into those debates..yet
i still do them sometimes. it was partly 'cause i just have this really rotten
cold and needed something to do to pass the time away. i'm gonna take some
nyquil and go to bed soon. i have even more pictures from NYC i'll put up
in the next anagram, and also some pictures from before i left. i wish these
anagrams were more linear, but that's what happend when u go on strange little
trips then get a cold :)
ok, here are all the posts i made. if u want to see the entire thread go read
the "jaffo" thread at the jennicam forum at peepingmoe.com
------------------------------
oh wait here's a post i made
first NOT about jaffo
jennifer's secret room Posted by ANA on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 4:51 a.m.
did u know that there is a room
at jennifer's that no one has yet seen on cam? :)
when i went 2 her house i was like, ohmigod! mystery room! guess what it is
and what it looks like! :))
she just doesn't have a cam for it yet. i slept in that room when i was over
there. jodi slept there, too. her poor hurt foot was bothering her :( we went
horseback riding and jodi's foot got smashed inbetween the horse and a tree
:/
jennifer's place looks TOTALLY different in "real life" than it does on cam!
now i know how it is when people come to my house and say the same thing.
quite a trip!
more later, but now it's 4am.
i haven't even unpacked yet! thank u thumper 4 the kind words down in the
posts below! it's so bizarre and cool to see myself in a "jennishow"
but my computer speakers are crap, so i couldn't understand anything anyone
was saying.
i couldn't even understand myself! ok, time 4 bed!
smooshed peas with pepper and butter,
ana
--------------------------------
Re: Nice Guys Posted by ANA
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 3:28 p.m.
, in response to Nice Guys, posted by Jaffo
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 1:53 p.m.
jaffo, i think u are inserting the word "nice" for what it REALLY is, imo
..DYSFUNCTIONAL! :)
heck, we've all been burned ( i'm assuming ).
i've been burned to a crisp several times and thought i'd never recover. in
fact, every time a relationship of mine ends ( hopefully this will not happen
again! ) i swear that will be the last time i ever love again.
again if someone is a grouchy bitch about a loving invitation for a roll in
the hay ( if u are"official" lovers )
and that someone shoots u down or rolls their eyes, then that is called emotional
ABUSE.
it may be small, it doesn't leave a physical bruise.
it might be so subtle that u feel stupid for even being hurt by it.
but it IS abuse and it's mean, and if u stay with a person like that then
i understand why your confidence is lacking.
i have been through similiar things.
whenever a person "belittles" another that is emotional abuse. that is the
time to
"throw up your hands and run for it"!
u wrote:
"Nice Guys" need to feel secure before they can cut loose like that. They
have to feel like they're advances are welcome. They have to be sure the romantic
risks they take will be appreciated. All too often, women ignore or belittle
men when they try stuff like this."
that isn't nice, that's just
insecure. if you aren't willing to take a risk without being 100% sure u will
not fail...is that even living? how sexy or romantic is that? and again, i
say if they belittle you, then get the heck away from that person! it sounds
like u have been in some pretty abusive relationships and it sounds to me
like you think that perhaps it was your fault! well, it's NOT your fault.
any person who would be so mean to belittle a person in return of a romantic
gesture is totally dysfunctional
( my mom was a psychiatric nurse..so that's where i get all my trendy yet
totally efficient pop psychology jargon ) and about the age thing...i dunno,
i've gone out with guys who were 10 years older, and now i'm going out with
a man who's 7 years younger than i!
age sometimes matters, but most often it doesn't, from my experience..unless
u are talking jailbait.
it's cool that u think about this stuff, though. i think after u werk this
through you'll be a very NICE boyfriend for someone.
and i mean nice as in it's a GOOD thing u are.
but nice doesn't mean being someones doormat.
and nice doesn't mean quivering in fear
. have courage in SPITE of your fear and go take some risks! that's what life
is, imo
---------------------
Posted by ANA
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 3:45 p.m.,
in response to Nice Guys,
posted by The Wave on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 2:45 p.m
. i just cannot agree that we are born with a tendency to go towards people
who are bad for us...and that we gradually learn to overcome this and appreciate
the people who are good for us. that has not been my experience at all. i
also disagree that once u act out a fantasy it's not a fantasy anymore! if
i can't live out my fantasies, WHY am i even living? that's the way i see
it :) man, i need a dr.pepper now. :)
------------------
Re: jaffo?
Posted by ANA
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 1:28 p.m.,
in response to Re: jaffo?, posted by Jaffo
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 10:49 a.m
. jaffo wrote,
"The things you wrote in that journal illustrated some things I've been thinking
about for a long time. It answered some questions that men have been asking
for a long time. What does it take to get a woman's attention? How do you
capture her imagination? What impressions stay with her over time? "
jaffo, u can't POSSIBLY think
that jennifer is ALL women! do u? u just cannot apply jennifer's journal entry
now to the entire female population! that's ridiculous! every woman is different
just as every man is! take each woman on an INDIVIDUAL HUMAN basis. there
is no cookie cutter answer to what every woman wants. just be yourself, do
what makes YOU happy, and when u are happy doing your thing..that is when
, most likely, some woman will see how happy you are and she will also want
to partake in it. like if your idea of a great time would be playing chess
in the park, then go do that..then u will run into a woman who loves parks
and chess!
don't try to figure out what all women want then conform to that. that's not
to say don't be adaptable in some things. like, for example...if a woman you
know loves roses but you do not love roses....to buy her some roses anyway
isn't going to make your personality any different.
and if it's not in u to act "bad" ( i hate using the word bad or dirty when
it comes to sex )then don't do it.
if it's not in you to be don juan then i just don't think it's gonna happen.
there ARE woman out there, many woman, who prefer things mellow ( i am not
one of them , hehe )
just be yourself.
a cliche to say, but infinitely important to do and be.
ana
---------------
Posted by ANA
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 2:49 p.m.
, in response to Re: jaffo?, posted by Thumper
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 2:12 p.m
. i think the biggest turn on is a person who feels secure in themselves :)
perhaps some "nice" guys should work on that? if u can't bring up certain
things to your lover without fear, new thoughts, new ideas, old thoughts,
etc..then perhaps u are with the wrong person. it's just not sexy to meekly
ask "may i bite your neck?" CONFIDENCE! it's the biggest turn on of all. perhaps
that is what SOME "nice guys" lack... i'm just saying this from what i have
experienced so far. but also confidence to share your deepest fears is ALSO
very essential. i mean, don't PRETEND to be confident..that's even WORSE.
i just think that a lot of people would do well to learn to love THEMSELVES
more and LIKE themselves more before going to look for it in others. it's
hard to put into words
ana
--------------
Posted by ANA
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 3:39 p.m.,
in response to Re: Confidence,
posted by Jennifer
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 3:20 p.m.
AMEN SISTAH!!! i agree with 777% and then some! i think we are all born with
confidence. and it is within the grasp to have it again if u lost it somewhere
along the line. you just have to WANT that confidence back with your entire
being! i would reccomend to anyone who needs a battery recharge and tune-up
to align themselves back to their path to read: "the seven spiritual laws
of success" by deepak chopra i feel , jaffo, that before u even BEGIN to even
CONSIDER a relationship to really work out your confidence "issues" because
THAT will be the key to unlock not only LOVE, but EVERYTHING in your life
that could bring u joy.
"you are what your
deep, driving desire is.
as your desire is, so is your will.
as your will, so is your deed.
as your deed, so is your destiny"
--Brihadaranyka Upanishad IV 4.5
--------------
Posted by ANA
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 4:46 p.m.,
in response to Re: Confidence,
posted by Jaffo
on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 4:28 p.m.
lol :) well, it's funny that u can't see that this IS about u. i'm not making this about u, this IS about u. just as everything that i am typing is about ME. this started out with YOUR journal entry, yes? it was not an article in time magazine. how u react to that article ( or somebody else's journal )IS about u. it's YOUR reaction. you are writing about how things make u FEEL when u see others doing <--insert action--->
then what you are doing is PROJECTING
your thoughts and feelings about the thing saw or read onto other people.
oh are speaking for "all the nice guys"
are are making big generalizations.
making generalizations like "nice guys are this"
"woman are this"
"when x happens y happens"
this is TOTALLY about u. and
that is why cams are so popular.
they are easy to project upon whatever is inside u.
you'll see what u want to see, or what you've been conditioned to see.
an example..."jenni is the epitome of the 90's woman"
to YOU she is.
to others it might be courtney love, or hillary clinton, or the transexual
that lives next door.
you are angry about a lot of things. jennifer's journal entry triggered a bunch of that anger and u wrote in YOUR journal to work it out or get it out.
u say you want this to be about
"general issues"
but the world is diverse. they may seem like general issues to u, but to others
it might not be a general issue at all.
all we can know is know ourselves.
i sure wish people would get
the fact that cams are a big mirror reflecting back to the viewer his/her
own pysche.
( for ONE thing )
actually everything is a mirror.
what u see is where YOU are at in the grid of life
at least, that's how i think about it today. tomorrow, who knows?
------------------
Posted by ANA on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 3:08 p.m., in response to Generalizations, posted by Jaffo on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 2:22 p.m.
oh jaffo...u are really off
base, imo!
1st off the dating ritual IS the beginning of a relationship!
there shouldn't be a separation, imo.
it sounds to me like you are saying "if only i knew how to do the right
ritual dance i could then start a relationship"
like you have to puff out like a coloured bird and spray yourself with phermones!
:)
just BE YOURSELF! that's all i can say! :) if she doesn't like u for being yourself on day ONE, then she just ISN'T the girl for u!
and i here u even say the thing
i was trying to point out 2 u about confidence.
you wrote
"This is surreal. I'm debating with the two most beloved women on the
internet.
A smarter man would throw up his hands, distribute lavish apologies, and get
the hell outta dodge. I've never been that smart. "
see, a statement like that is
not a good one to even start out a friendship.
hypothetically, if u wanted to be my friend ( and THAT is square one to start
a sexual relationship, imo, be friends first! it's ALL based on that, TO ME
)
u say a statement like that and what i think, to be brutally honest..well..
u even said it yourself...that u cannot handle having an equal relationship
with a woman! u say a smarter man would run away? WHY? i love a good debate!
especially if the person is smart! (duh)
i don't want some guy who lavishes
apologies, throw up his hands and runs away!
do i want a guy who thinks he's not that smart? ack! do u see where i'm getting
at?
confidence man confidence! it's the sexiest thing there is! do u see?
it's not a formula, it's not a ritual. it's about loving yourself and what
you do and being secure in that. when u have that, u WILL excude love vibes,
to be sure...
and anyway, it's not about being SMART, it's about being TRUE to YOURSELF,
to your being to your core!
now go look in the mirror and say 3 times a day, " i'm good enough, and
smart enough, and gosh darnit people like me! "
:)))
i don't even know u, but my
quick pop-psychology summation of why u do not get the girl u want is RIGHT
THERE in that sentence clear as day.
( maybe u do have the girl want now...i don't know much about u )
but there u have it from dr. voog :)
ana
-------------
Posted by ANA on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 4:06 p.m., in response to Re: Generalizations, posted by Jaffo on Friday, 22 October 1999, at 3:42 p.m.
jaffo wrote:
"In reality, I'm one of the most arrogant people you'll ever meet. *grin*
"
--------
i say:
arrogance is only the flip side of insecurity/fear. it's one and the same.
i'm not talking about arrogance,
i'm talking about confidence! big difference!
do u see?
actually, lots of times..opposites attract. :) my boyfriend is nothing like me...we share common interests in movies, philosophy music...but he is almost purely the mind and i am almost purely the heart.
i read deepak chopra
he reads these gigantic manuals on programmng languages
-------
jaffo wrote:
"Women are attracted to men who are being themselves in an aggressive
way -- men who don't care what the world thinks of them. "
i say:
ok, there u go with the sexist generalizations again! being confident doesn't
mean that u don't care what the world thinks about u! and confident doesn't
equal aggressive! even assertive and aggressive are two different things.
i don't know what more i can say...u are just so off base to me about such
really important fundamental things. and...i think it would take me all day
to try to explain it. and i'm starting to feel sicker from my cold :(
and i didn't mean to say that u liked jenni or i. i was saying IF u wanted to get to know me better, then THESE are the things where'd you'd be steering yourself wrong from square one.
and u are really contradicting
yourself now.
on one hand you are asking "how do i gain confidence? is it learned?"
then in this thread you are saying" i am confident and i have learned
it"
well, then..ummm......????
!!!
i would say that the majority of this society (USA) is actually based on submissive
( that's a whole nother ball of wax )moral teachings ( christianity for one
)
how does making yourself a priority
go against a dominant teaching anyway?
or how does learning to love yourself go against a dominant teaching?
what was the environment that
u grew up in like?
i'll bet that holds some pretty powerful clues as to why u seem to be kind
of confused.
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