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[09 Oct 2001|07:09am]
woke up. got out of bed. dragged a comb across my head....

[09 Oct 2001|12:10pm]
happy 60th birthday Cheerios!
( i want to eat 7 bowls of cheerios now :)

rethinking your priorities since the attack [09 Oct 2001|04:07pm]
i'm watching oprah and it's about how so many people are re-evaluating their lives and their priorities since the WTC terror.

what were you focusing on before sept 11th that now seems trivial?

how have you re-evaluated your life since the attack?

what did you neglect that you should have focused on sept 11

what do you pledge to make important now?

what would be left unsaid and undone if you lost a loved one today?

what must you next do now to live to your new standard?

what do you think of this? [09 Oct 2001|05:09pm]
http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/comment-dreher100801.shtml

2 things [09 Oct 2001|07:46pm]
1) the sebastian dog is a total muffinhead

2) i astral projected a bit today. does anyone here ever do that? i can't do it on purpose and usually it just freaks me out and i can't go out more than a few feet...but today it was kind of pleasureable

[09 Oct 2001|09:35pm]
ya, maybe i'll just go to L.A. even tho i cannot afford it.
i found a ticket for $191 bucks

what do you think the weather will be like during that time?

would anyone let me stay with them when i was in L.A.?

around october 30th through november 12th? i figure maybe i could crash at people's houses a day here and a day there

i need to get out of here and have an adventure and i need to get sebastian to my friend, maw

but i also want to go to NYC to get a better grasp on what has happened there

[10 Oct 2001|11:40am]
all this cold rainy grey weather for days on end is making me want to stay in bed.
it's so hard for me to get motivated for me when it's like this. i wanna go pick up some fall leaves but they are all soggy :/
turned my heater on, listening to miss e

i have to be realistic. i cannot afford to go to L.A.end any money it should be going towards getting my camcorders fixed.

[10 Oct 2001|11:35pm]
goodbye xio
i'm sorry i never knew you better.
tell the angels hi from me, i know you'll have fun up there...

"jewels of airwaves
the air has never felt so clean
her throat stings with tiny lives hiding inside her
her hands are finally clean
her eyes finally open

open to the point of tears
visions of funerals
of his pain and long lost mother and lover
both deaths of a broken heart
he has learned whatever lesson is there for him to learn

sun of now shines on the beach,of years past.
at one point she had forgotten it, her home,
but now she is reminded.
brought back to it's smells, it's movement,
it's light.

always light

never had she realized it's beauty
the way it clenched her heart
regrets of not returning sooner
all people were without shelter

why had she left?

she had been forced
she had lost her companion
he never got back in touch with her
it was too late for that now
she forgave him in silence

the waters brought her waves
in waves she vanished
in waves she reappeared
in waves she died

mankind wasn't meant to control the tides

---xio

-------
"2:24p - fuck-n-aye
i got on the bus today and there was this girl sitting in the seat in front o' me. she had really pretty red hair. i instantly admired her for her confidence. she was eating the same lollipop i was. i liked her sunglasses.

anyway, it was a short trip and when i reached to tug on the rope to signal my stop, she had already tugged it. i was a little aggravated but was kinda glad that she would be walking the same way i would be walking. anyway, as she's getting off she simply states "thank you, have a nice day" to the bus driver.

!!!!!!!!

if there is one fucking thing in this world that i always thought was my very own, personal, unique trait it was thanking my city bus drivers. in my eyes they are the kindest people in the world. i love them. i am known for saying that exact fucking phrase to them everyday.

jennie has the ability to write, patrick's thing is music, and evan has art. i have my kindness towards bus drivers. or at least i DID have it. argh, what makes me, me? what is the one personality trait that only i posses (possess? possess?) ????????????

dammit all to hell, what do/should people think when they hear the name "Adrienne"?

what do I have to offer? "

---xio

--------
7:51p - sorry to rip off jennie's "i love....." idea
i love music

i love dancing

i love sunshine that doesn't make me too warm

i love the rain

i love jumping into puddles

i love drawing on my arms

i love patrick

i love perry farrell

i love glitter

i love big headphones

i love my blue hair

i love hairless arms

i love the shape of a female back

i love fashion photography

i love bus drivers

i love fast computers

i love doing high kicks

that's all for now, gotta go talk to Sarah"

---xio

-----

"12:04a - upon andys request

im adrienne the blue haired sea merrel
owner of all things shiny and beautiful
i keep my fire flies in pretty glass bottles
and i watch them shine for me, and only for me
my emerald eyes seduce men of older age
while my wicked tail kills them

---xio

------
"my fingers smell of lemons
and my hair of rose blossoms
my skin sinks deep into the ripples of patchoulli oil
while my toes slowly turn to fins
in the sunset golden river i do swim
my every breath brings inspiration
every blade of grass is secretly a muse
beads are beautiful
in my world the sky is the bluest of blue
how do you view the universe?
whats secrets does it reveal to you?
where do you hide when you bleed?
what color do you exhale?
i have grown the wings of fearies
and with them i fly away
far away from the mundane and uneeded
and in their world i am just as mesmerizing as
everyone else
there is no such thing as time
and light comes from the inside
in their world,
bright cannot begin to describe the sky
and no toes every touch the ground
in the air is where i belong!
and in the air i shall stay
to breath water
to breath wind
to breath in the erath
to breath in the fire
to breath in spirit
we are all one
one people, one energy, one vibe"

xio

-----
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11:02a

sens-(t?)-ual hatred
perhaps love?
germs seen through micro-glasses
muses of pain delievered in her tummy
'keep your thoughts above'
card houses passing hours
all built up to tumble
fragrance of stabbing
stale and rusty red
her blood the color of burgandy
sweet and innocent enough to drink the wine

letters giving hope
he will return to them one day
promises made empty

fame and acknowledgement never wished for
erasing blocking divine energy
95%
hungry

alias
used to protect the many sides she hides

was i too hrash?
i think i was
forgive the broken one

active ingrident:
White Petrlatum (40.7%),
Octyl Methoxycinnamate (7.5%),
Oxbenzone (3.5%)

One even
For odd

((please...me...fall...outside...hit myself))

And bleed
heavy
eternity

Rashinal rumors recieving negatively

False idols punished with a lake of fire

Tranquil eyes with black goat-ee-s
Microfibrils fed with IV d's

Fall
Stumble
Leave Me

current music: the sound of tongue clicking

11:10a

'member-e-nces of periods and times past
medication dream world
explosion
soothing
vocal

blue red orange and purple
morph in samuri sloth ways

amazement driven through metalic strings
some thicker than others
26% venus

headaches given through capsules
neverending
frustaration built up
lost through a wrong connection

time kept through metro-gnomes
machinary aiding rhythm lost boys and girls
ones who drive off morphine

sounds of dangling keys sparking fear
anxiety
always with uneeded cluttering medication
xanax prozac
the first spelling ana-me

11 17
For odd-s

clicks for xio
words for jewlery
blue for belly button

present
for past is gone
missing article?
yes

bottles filling the child
of negative years
goodnight sleepy eyes
'dreamer of the dream'
present maker of music

son said goodnight

three word deliverance
rummy stratergies discovered
fooled
surprises not surprising

screeching throughing patterned speakers
calls of help ignored

screams of boredom punished
repetitive
redunant

everything

((i...all...pain...))

dance-disco-trash-thrash-sweat-sweet

older men with money to spend
how creative mr n

gone
through-thro
in clouds of *poof*

tasted saliva between father and daughter
unkept secrets
no relation
i swear

xio---died at age 15 of cancer.

-----

[11 Oct 2001|01:20am]
i just read xio's entire LJ....
i feel odd....it really affected me in a way i cannot put into words yet

[11 Oct 2001|01:40am]
thanks to debgirl001 for this awesome link:

http://www.go2sleep.be/

today i bought a bucket of red paint to paint my floor after i rip up this carpet. and then i am going to glitter it on top of that. it will look very royal. i wonder if i'll ever actually get around to doing it.

reading here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/asi/

radiohead radio [11 Oct 2001|11:16am]
http://www.mtv.com/onair/mtv2/

i went there and then click on mtv2 radio

then you can select "radiohead radio"

it's pretty cool :) they played clinic and joy division and now are playing laika and now goldfrapp :)

[11 Oct 2001|01:02pm]
holy god...it's 62 degrees outside. i have to get out there! and it's SUNNY!
all morning long i talked to 2 of my old friends and we are going to get together on sunday. rochelle and amy.
so much to say about that. so happy about it.
but the day is too nice to write about it right now. i have to get outside but first i have to do a few anacam biz things.
i am in a weird state of mind

[11 Oct 2001|06:13pm]
well, i totally ruined my whole day by calling up my mom just to tell her i love her then we got in the discussion about the war and she says i'm naive and dumb and living in a world of deception and then she wonders why i feel badly and then she just laughs at me in the most cruel way. i can't stand it. i just can't stand it.
she will never approve of me. never.
i am without words.
i am just.
so upset.
my mother is so damn mean and i must just go now and cry a lot and take a bath. i am so upset. what a cruel cruel mother. what a rotten horrible mean selfish mother i have who laughs at me when i'm upset and tells me i'm stupid.
just screw that. screw it.
i am so angry right now. there is no way language does any justice to how i feel right now.

3ileruc3u4bi24urbli2u4bri23ebxi23hbexi2uriubhqrcboy8rcuil4rcuiglrxgulwr3xkuzdwqjbdxkwhgekquywevku

tears tears tears hurting deep inside

hurting

hurting hurting hurting

hurting hurting

hurting

deeply hurting

hurting

deeeeeeeeeeply.
hurting.

no words.

so much hurting