anagram 101000
put your mouse over the pictures 2 see
a second picture
(in most pictures, but there are about 3 that are only one picture...like
this first one here)
october 6th, 2000
2000-10-06
11:55:00
ok, i'm trying 2 take everything a step at a time. even if it's just putting
one pair of shoes into the closet, and then do one more small thing like that.
i think that is one of the best things my mom ever taught me.
i remember that i would get so paralyzed from fear about my homework. i would just get mentally paralyzed and it would all pile up. so my mom would take me to the table and tell me everything is going to be ok and let's take this one step at a time. and we would go through it together, one book after another until it was done. ( i did my homework...my mom didn't do half...i don't if the previous sentence conveyed that )
afterwards she would hug me and tell me that everytrhing would be ok and she would hug me. i need my mom to help me again :)
anyway...i
miss that. but she did teach me that. and thank god she did or i would end
up homeless because i would let the bills pile up until i would be in a corner
and they'd have to haul me away.
at least that it one of my biggest fears.
i never feel like i have much of a support system sometimes.
i mean, i have you guys :) and believe me, u guys do save my ass just about
everyday and for that i am eternally grateful and don't any of u for granted...even
if i don't always say that or email u back personally
so i got a
coke, and now i am playing prince's controversy record
it's so cool that bobby z is my manager. he is the greatest storyteller. he
has told me so many hilarious and beautiful stories from that time in the
80's when they were the bigest band on the earth.
it's too bad the record biz can't be cool anymore. it's just a big bloated dinasaur eating it's own flesh right
i'm glad bobby got to experience it in it's last cool form and that i get to hear the stories. i love stories. i live for stories..
ok, i am trying to breathe. i am trying now to rip myself away from this computer so i can get this paper on the floor all around my desk into some sort of order. who knows if it can be done?
i turned the
oven off cause it got warm enough in here. but now, 5 minutes in here it's
cold again. dang.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-06 12:10:00
oh, and i planted the vegetables in my fridge. a beet, a ginger root, a potato,
a yam, and a bulb of garlic :)
the beet is showing signs of life :)
i gotta get outside 4a sec 'cause i forgot my walkman at this sandwhich place.
i had so many
weird dreams last night. i wish i could explain them. some of them are so
real-like..that it feels like it happened.
that makes my head feel sideways when that happens.
prince is
singing, "let's work! "
the dogs are confused.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-06 13:23:00
i just ate the best sandwhich in the world. hot turkey with swiss and all
the fixings on this amazing homemade bread. and fresh lemonade! and potato
salad and 2 mimi reeses's penut butter cups.
ohmigod. YUM
it's now 42 degrees outside.
i didn't eat the WHOLE sandwhich, it was HUGWE
oh ya and garlic potato chips.
i brought the dogs with me and the were twizzling all around my legs it was
hard to get the lemonade back to my aprtment without spilling it.
plus a lady had two other small dogs and our tangles themselves in each other...and
i could unwrap mine because i twizzled their leases around my mittens that
go with the kitty hood i always wear...and it runs through my jacket on a
string.
and so while we were trying to untwizzle she asked where i got my leopard
skin coat, which is at daytons.
jeepers.
i am looking outside now and it seems that 1/2 the leaves have fallen off the trees just since my last entry.
i don't know
when jason is getting home today. sometime this afternoon, i believe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-06 17:27:00
jason's home :)
october 7th, 2000
2000-10-07
14:54:00
i feel REALLY weirded out today. i had such a bizarre dream i wish i had the
energy to type it out. i feel creeped out and really enclosed and guarded
today. i want 2 break free of this feeling. i am trying 2 get a grip on what
i'd REALLY like to do today...but i have no idea. i am competely lost in this
moment.
so i switched on mtv to try to put some happt happy joy joy into my life or something. and there is this show called jackass which is like tom green but even weirder, grosser and more extreme. and it fascinated me to no end that there were so many boys who like to shove themselves into shopping carts then plunge themselves into cement and bushes.
man. ya gotta love a person who does what they really love to do, no matter how stupid of an idea that is.
i saw the movie " office space" yesterday. u HAVe 2 see it! especially if u werk in a cubicle.
right now
, i guess, is my time where i am soaking in information/energy so that i may
yet again create more stuff. but i am in the ingesting mode...and digesting.
mostly ingesting, i think.
i can't tell.
as i said
i am completely lost and confused. that being said...ummmm....
who knows?
i think my life could take a weird transformation at any moment. and that scares me and thrills me, but mostly scares me at the moment.
so, i ate a cheesburger and i'm searching arund my house for soemsort of "thing" to home into..or something.
don't ya just
hate days like this?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-07 22:08:00
sorry i have been "gone", but i am here. "here" :)
just going through troubled times, as many of u are now going through, too
your words comfort me.
and i hope that my words also comfort u, we will make it through this together,
each in her/his own way :)
ack. earth. what a sticky mess :)
october 8th, 2000
2000-10-08
10:37:00; ok, i was not quite awake when i wrote this originally to i am making
it a bit more understandable
ok, i got up at 7:30am ( by a fluke )
i bought some vegetables yesterday:
2 beets, potatoes, string beans and squash
and more but i cannot remember.
the dogs and i are feasting on left over garlic bead fom yesterday.
(my brain flits around from thought thought..non sequiturs abound)
re: jennifer's latest journal entry ( and a lot of this will make no sense to u at all...it's really me talking to myself and to her in sleepyhead way):
all i want
2 tell u is 2 fly and let go
DO i feel connected 2 jennifer?...there IS something there. we HAVE made that
connection.
it IS real 2 me and i know it's real 2 her.
anyway..i
know more will arise...(by more...i think i meant communication...we haven't
talked much since the whole courtney/dex thang)
as stupid as this seems,jennifer and i will do alright ...inspire each other
( ok, that kind of made sense, in a way)
jennifer,
i KNOW this is a total ptojection of my feelings.... BUT i feel a NEED 2 tell
u
that wearing make up and kicking ass (or not) at the dotties (awards show)
IS not only OK, but FUN.
it DOESN'T matter if u wear make up..but it also doesn't mean if u do.
Things like that (wearing or not wearing make up) in life to me (and i need
to take my own advice more often)
don't matter in the "grand scheme of things"
but in the NOW, have FUN. ALWAYS. revel in it, it DOESN'T MATTER what u choose,
but just GO for "it"
in the mellowist way possible
u CAN be glamourous and anti glamourous BOTH at the same time.
no sacifices be need 2 made
( i could have said that a whole lot better )
i want to
see u roll and play like a very satisfied cat when u are up for an award!
yes, of course this is my projection..but goddamit u deserve it!
why NOT?
it's the dotties but ONLY the dotties.
grab all the free sushi and rooftop views while u can!
u know so MUCH what i mean.
i am such an idealist...i know i cannot "save" u...but yet i still
feel i can (in that i mean give u a big hug..and u know...all that kinda stuff)
maybe vice
versa
maybe not
anyway....which ever paths we turn ito..i'll be somewhere in that drive way (or porch)
(ok, fixing the typos and changing things around a bit makes it slightly more
understandable...a bit more..but only a bit :)maybe i'll try to restate what
i meant by this whole thing at a later time)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-08 15:33:00
ok, here is a sentence for you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-08 15:39:00
ya :) ya :) ya :)
october 9th, 2000
2000-10-09
18:12:00
i was so anxious today. all i could do was stay in bed and try to breathe.
but i am feeling better now. one step at a time. what a weird week!
more later...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-09 22:44:00
for those of u who wrote to me at my hotmail account RE; the polaroids and
it bounced back 2 u because my email box was too full, it will now work again.
some asshole spammed me with the same message about 500 times in it, which
is why things bounced. grr...
in other news....if
u get the daily show where u live, don't u just LOVE it :)
i love it sooooo much.
yesterday
jason and i watched a jerry seinfeld dvd of called " i'm gonna tell u
this for the last time" or something. it's VERY funny. go rent it if
u can. i really needed a good laugh :)
i need a whole bunch more, too. that's why i am so happy with deiter and pooka
, everyday they do the most hilarious things :)
i HAVE to get a camcorder so i can tape then and turn it into a cable access
tv show :)
i am feeling
a lot better now. i feel almost normal. i'm going into the bedroom now to
be with jason. i feel i am crawling out of my shell again :)
i had a good cry AND a good laugh the last few days.
aaaa. release :)
also, i am getting in on the etrade thing :) i gotta get 2 my bank tomorrow to wire them some $
hopefully i'll start making some cool pix again with my cam
i got a LOT of polaroid film from people, too!
ok, jason
is calling me from the bedroom asking me to get my butt in there :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-09 22:46:00
augh. i just madea post..but it didn't show up :( it was a long one , too
:(
ack..gotta go tho..jason is calling me from the bedroom asking me 2 get my
butt in there :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-09 22:49:00
well, my posts are showing up in people's places who have listed me as a friend...but
not showing up in my journal...anyone else having this problem?
october 10th, 2000
2000-10-10
11:18:00; my posts are not showing up and replies are disappearing
my posts aren't showing up in my journal...but they are showing up in the
friends part of people who have listed me as their friend. not only that,
but two replies i made to the last post that u can see on my journal : 2000-10-09
18:12:00
have disappeared...which is too bad 'cause they were damn hilarious :)
i'm going 2 post this 2 see if this shows up, and i'm also going to post this as a reply to the above journal entry i just said....
so...is anyone
else having this problem?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-10 12:00:00
i went to stacy's (www.atomcam.com) friends list to see if my posts were showing
up there. they are ...but on the 6:12pm one where i say i'm anxious...it says
it has 22 replies...which is right..but if i click on it..all the replies
are not there.
if i go to
stephanie from www.stvlive.com's friends list...i see that it says that i
have far less replies from that same entry of mine. and a few recent posts
i've made are not showing up on stephanie's but are on stacy's...so i am wondering
again if it is the people who have modified their journal html-wise to look
like something other than the templates we can use at livejournal..who are
perhaps having the most problems.
do u know what i mean?
but i have no idea....
also...my
entire friends page is not updating at all , either :(
*cry*
now i will not be able to see this post, so i will also not be able to see your replies to it either...but reply anyway, 'cause i'll hope that i can see them at SOME point. and u can also email me at ana101@hotmail.com
i'm gonna go over to bradfitz's journal now 2 see if he is aware of any problems ( he is the guy who made this for all of us )
also, there is lots of info on livejournal at
news.livejournal.com
so i'll go
there, too.
THEN, i'll get ready and go to the bank and stuff and when i get back maybe
everything will be fixed! *crosses fingers*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2000-10-10 13:19:00
it seems that everyone can see what i'm typing except me. i have tried 3 differernt
computers now with both IE and Netscape. i have cleared my cache andf history
serveral times in serveral different ways. i have rebooted. i know it's not
my computer since the other two have the same problem. SO..all i can deduce
is that it is my DSL somehow, since the 3 computers are on a hub. but i have
no idea what to do about it.
i tried calling jason at work just to ask him, but he's not around. so there
is nothing else i can do at the moment about this :(
so i better get to the bank pronto cause i have to do this thing before 3pm
and it's 1:30now
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i
went on a walk today 2 do errands. it was so beautiful! 65 degrees!
i had too much stuff on me to carry to go on a longer walk...so i ran home
to dumo stuff off and also get some cameras and my walkman so i could go take
cool pix and listen to music as i walked. i wanted to walk to this place i
knew that a crow's body was many months ago and 2 see if it was still there
2 gather it's bones for pictures. but then 2 blocks later i found a dead pigeon
on the sidewalk on it's back, wings folded forward. the sight of it startled
me because it was so beautiful and perfect. i carefully nudged it and it's
neck was not ridged, and it's eyes were clear, but the wings were stiff. the
toes were still slightly agile. i could see no reason for it's death. maybe
it died of old age?
i dunno. but i was so freaked and excited by it because i really never have
seen a pigeon that close up befor. and so still. it is weird how different
a thing is when it's dead. before i had found the pigeon i was singing this
"it's a beautiful neighbourhood" song that i made up right then..but
when i found the pigeon i sang a sad little song " little little bird
your little life is gone now"
it is quite an amazing thing to have a dead pigeon on my desk. just upside down sitting there. very...very....quiet.
i still cannot see any of my posts nor read any replies. i have discovered that this is due to my isp putting me through some sort of cache thing that they are testing. they are doing it to everyone on my isp. and they said it will be over soon. i hope it will be SOON soon. not being able to read my livejournal feels like not having a telephone!
i gathered some maple tree seeds today. i remember that my friend lisa called them "helicopters". i think it was her that said that...i'm not sure. but one of my friends would laugh as they fell down on our heads and she'd say " u have tree helicopters in your hair!" :)
what should i do with this pigeon?
2000-10-10 21:05:00
ok, i am still stuck in the cache thing that my isp put me into, so i cannot
read my entries nor read yours :/ but at least i know that u can read it.
so...that being said, hello! i am in a really good mood for a change :) i
had a yummy yummy dinner and i did my first trade on etrade :)so i feel all
adult-like now :P
i'm gonna go sift through all the campix i've saved for the last day for the next anagram.
i cleaned off my desk, which means i have more stuff on the floor around my desk. how very efficient of me.
it felt so good to just be able to walk to the bank and mentally be able to handle it. it's like when you've been sick and dizzy and then the little things like walking down a hallway to your bathroom aren't painful anymore :)
---------
here are all the replies to an entry i made that i found very hilarious. this is it. the whole dang thread. hope u can figure it out...or not.
Read Comments
ana clara voog says...
@ 2000-10-09 18:12:00
i was so anxious today. all i could do was stay in bed and try to breathe.
but i am feeling better now. one step at a time. what a weird week!
more later...
Submit to
topic directory: (?)
(Post a new comment)
Responses....
(no subject)
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 16:27
maybe you should get some fresh air. The season has changed to fall, incase
you didn't know.
(Reply to this)
xharfauj
ana
2000-10-09 17:12
i guess u aren't very informed about where i live, which is on planet very
very far away from earth. on my planet we do not have
seasons, we have a thing we call "xharfauj", which is instead of
changing seasons, we have changing dimensions.
if you'd
like to pay the cabfare to get from my planet to yours, and u would like to
pay for the special lladtg suit i would have to
wear just to make sure my tentacles don't suction on to everything...then
fine.
(Reply to this)
ssshhh!
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 17:17
Don't tell them everything.
(Reply to this)
Re: xharfauj
hilarykay
2000-10-09 17:39
ahaha
i love it :)
(Reply to this)
Anxiety-Be-Gone!
serendipity
2000-10-09 16:38
Ooh, I hate anxiety. But I'm not going to give you any advice on how to feel
better, because you'll probably get more of that than
you want or need. If only we could will away your anxiety! Hoping you feel
much better real soon.
(Reply to this)
Pufferfish
Lamps
cpnmdnt
2000-10-09 17:20
Hey Ana,
I finally
got around to those pufferfish lamps. There are two & one of them is sorta
hurtin.
Grandma says you can have them if you want them so I need an address to ship
them to.
Hope this helps your day!
Paul
(Reply to this)
Re: Pufferfish
Lamps
ana
2000-10-09 17:29
yayayayayayayayay!!!!!!!
ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, mn
55175
:)
i'll send u a special surprise present back!
(Reply to this)
(no subject)
lbasham467
2000-10-09 18:46
What is hurting you?
(Reply to this)
you
ana
2000-10-09 20:13
YOU are hurting me. YOU.
could u please stop? it is really getting in the way of me truly enjoying
my potato chips right now. and that's not good.
(Reply to this)
(no subject)
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 18:54
I think those drugs you are on are really getting in the way of "life"
and all good things that actually go along with it. Maybe your mom
is onto something, use to think your posts made sense where your mom was concerned,
but now I kinda see it her way after your
last few posts. I think you should really consider getting some help.
(Reply to this)
Re:
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 20:15
I would have to agree there! ALOT of help!
(Reply to this)
Re:
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 21:59
Definately a lot of help regarding the whole narcissm issue, and typing.
(Reply to this)
blip
ana
2000-10-09 20:19
my drugs HELP me. especially the LSD :)
mmm, good stuff. and look at all the pretty pretty colours :) they are twinkling
and saying " we love we love u, u are our leader!
come play in the happy happy land!"
how can i say no to my happy happy twinkling colour friends? who would be
their leader?
my walls would stop breathing in and out! how could i let that happen?
and who would talk to the carpet when it gets lonely? YOU? i don't think so. u don't even know carpet LANGUAGE!
i think u
are satan. my twinkling friends say so.
so u better be nice or i'm not EVER going to invite u to any of my crackwhore
parties.
(Reply to this)
Re: blip
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 20:26
god i love the way you are ana please do not change for anyone i love the
way you are
for you keep writeing
express your self dont let anything hold you back
(Reply to this)
Re: blip
daruba
2000-10-10 13:55
crackho' parties where they only speak *carpet*.. shit, I thought they outlawed
those in yer dimension. BTW, how's
"xharfauj" going anyway... Tell us what 3 dimensions looks like
from yer perspective...
LOL!!!
(Reply to this)
Let it be
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 20:31
Why can't you all just get along without an interactive ANA for a couple of
days, ie let ANA be ANA.
(Reply to this)
truth
beep
2000-10-09 20:50
It is amazing to me what a simple truthful statement brings in terms of comments!
It is my guess that most people can't be simply truthful with themselves,
therefore, when someone else is and it doesn't fit the "pc"
way to be, (which is probably how they would *rather* be - not so "pc"
or staus quo or whatever word you wanna plunk in there)
they say something is wrong with *you* and you should get help when it's probably
such a scary mirror, as in, *they* could use the
help - lots of help - not that we all can't sometimes, but then we just do
when we want to, eh?
I love how you are Ana and you make a great leader. I love that you remind
me to think freely and let go into more
dimensions....always, beep (from beyond Siriusly) no, really....:)) ^j^
(Reply to this)
Re: truth
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 22:17
I agree with you SO much. Ana, you are like so not part of the "professional/corporate"
world, and so in tune with yourself. You
notice a lot of things that others would just let slip by. You are more aware
of fall than most would be, NOT less. Yes, other
people WISH they could be like that, but it's not easy when you have to go
out into that "professional/corporate" world and deal
with people on that level. You start thinking it's reality, and that's all
there is.
But, you Ana, you really only see and hear people's "other" sides.
This is the internet's gift to you. And your gift is to give
back your perceptions of what you see and hear, and what you observe on your
own, without the influence of ...that other world,
where the work ethic is GOD, pc and status quo..gossip, and judgements, and
backstabbing are the way, the truth and the light.
Just daily rituals around the water cooler.
Since you don't have to deal with that it leaves you free to get angry at
social injustice and many other things, that ordinary
people just can't fit in to thier (how do you spell it? sike-ee)....thier
mind. Yeah, we all wish we could be like that. But, you do it
for us. That is your gift to us.
(Reply to this)
(no subject)
(Anonymous)
2000-10-09 22:44
"It's hard to take the world the way that it came
Too many rapids keep us sweeping along
Too many captains keep on steering us wrong
It's hard to take the heat
It's hard to lay blame
To fight the fire while we're feeding the flames"
lyrics to "Second Nature" by Rush, and posted recently by the adorable Cyberpup.
(Reply to this)
my posts
aren't showing up and replies are disappearing
ana
2000-10-10 09:16
my posts aren't showing up in my journal...but they are showing up in the
friends part of people who have listed me as their friend.
not only that, but two replies i made to the last post that u can see on my
journal : 2000-10-09 18:12:00
have disappeared...which is too bad 'cause they were damn hilarious :)
i'm going 2 post this 2 see if this shows up, and i'm also going to post this as a reply to the above journal entry i just said....
so...is anyone else having this problem?
(Reply to this)
Re: my posts
aren't showing up and replies are disappearing
ana
2000-10-10 09:22
ok..i just posted that and i clicked on the "you can view it HERE"
button...and the two replies that disappeared if i try to go see
replies are HERE...if i come into my journal from that route..PLUS u was able
to see all of the other replies! thank u everyone! :)
{{{{{{{{{{{BEEP}}}}}}}}}}}}}
:)))
so..hmm....i
am going to go look at my journal from the "calendar view" now and
see if my posts are showing up there. i don't
know what 2 do! very mysterious!
(Reply to this)
eeeeek
ana
2000-10-10 09:35
ok, i was able to see all of your replies by going into my journal view the
calendar view.
and i made a few more replies to people in various recent entries.
but now the calendar view option is also not working for me , and the replies
that i COULD see are now gone again (like the one
beep made up there...if can see it)
if i go to a person who has listed me as a friend to see my posts...i can see my posts...but i cannot see any of your replies :(
this is what it sounds like...when doves cry
(Reply to this)
Re: eeeeek
ana
2000-10-10 09:39
now...in this entry...i can see all of your replies again only if i reply
to this entry then hit the button that says to view your reply
HERE.
*sigh*
but i give
up for now.
gonna get ready to go to the bank
and wire some $ to etrade. etrade! can u believe i'm doing it?
mommy, does this mean i'm an adult now?
LOL :)
(Reply to this)
(no subject)
(Anonymous)
2000-10-10 10:20
A: explain to us your worries/strife that you begin to talk about then dangle
OR
B: leave us to believe that you are insane
(Reply to this)
Re:
(Anonymous)
2000-10-10 11:02
Don't be surprised if Ana picks option C
Maybe anonymous
posters should explain themselves
or be considered crazy
Oops, I guess that includes me...