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want your name tattooed on my ass? :) [09 Aug 2001|02:45am]
i wonder if i put an auction up on ebay that i will tattoo the name of the winner of that auction on my ass if anyone would bid? and if so, how much? ( did that sentence make sense? ) and i don't have a single tattoo anywhere on my body so i'm a total tattoo virgin. it would be my first tattoo which would make it all the more special :) hehe :) not only that but i would film it and give that film to the person who won.
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who are you watching? [09 Aug 2001|02:47am]
are there any new cams out there that are totally awesome that i have overlooked? where's the best place to look for new cams these days? who are you watching?
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[09 Aug 2001|01:58pm]
it's 79 degrees today only! yippee! today is a day to do all my errands i've been wanting to do for the past week! and i got the cam to fit into the new thing room, that used to be the bedroom...well, actually i have two thing rooms now...well, actually everyroom in my apt is now a thing room. i think that i will stay in there and sleep in there and eat in there until i have CLEANED that thing. sounds like as plan.
-------2:30pm
it makes no sense at all that i cannot find my nickelodeon phone :( i mean how could THAT disappear? i am so totally and utterly phoneless. it's driving me crazy!!!!!!!! i need to make some calls and see if anyone called me! argh!
it's been days and days and days! a week with no phone? yes!

and i cannot, for the life of me, find my windows Me disc nor a whole bunch of connectix cdroms that i need to install any of my connectix cameras. i know they are all hiding out somewhere in my house...but WHY? and WHERE?
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[09 Aug 2001|04:13pm]
wow, i don't know why i have to make everything be so damn difficult. here i've been having anxiety over !) getting the clothes on the couch in the former bedroom hung up and 2) getting the cassettes out of there and into the livingroom/bedroom and 3) spray painting that ugly painting silver
and i got it all done, mostly, this afternoon. and it wasn't at all difficult or time consuming or painful. if i could just at LEAST have THAT much energy a day, which isn't asking for much...then i would have been DONE cleaning and decorating this house eons ago.
but no, i have to put ALL my energy into being NERVOUS about doing those three things 24/7 for the last two months. it's pathetic , really.
now, if i could just get all the packages off into the mail that i have been building up here and then also finish the polaroid project, i'd be a much calmer person.

ack, the smell of spary paint makes me sick...which is my cue to get in the shower and then get out of here.
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[09 Aug 2001|06:24pm]
ok, i finally got my klonopin so i can feel less drugged up and also i can go back on the atkins and lose 8 more pounds. if i did that, i'd be pretty much exactly where i would feel very good. but even now, i feel pretty good about my body weight. i never used to be able to stand even the slight curve in my belly, unless it curved IN. but now, i can see that i look pretty healthy where i am and it makes me happy that i can finally see that and not see it as some sort of deformity.
and i got a bit if food and food for the dogs and an italian vogue :) and on the way home i joined up for one month of this fitness place to see what it was like there. they have a pool, and that's all i really care about. if only i had known about this place before...a pool would have really been a lifesaver through that heatwave! when i get more $, i'll probably sign up for a year. now i just need a swimming suit. hey i could use my underwater disposable camers now!
i feel really good that i got out of the house and had a good walk and got stuff done. and i got OXYGEN from FRESH air. not air that just sits in my apt being circulated over and over. i have my windows open and it makes it SO much lighter and happier in my house. ah, i feel almost normal :) heatwaves are worse than winter even, because i can't even open my blinds to see the sun. nothing is more stifling and depressing. but it's over over over! *mmmmmmmmmmmmmm* :)
and best of all is that flirty stupid cashier that drove me crazy at the little store is GONE! he quit and has a new job! YES! i don't ever have to deal with him ever again! THANK YOU UNIVERSE!
and i made progress with organizing my house. i think i shall organize more with the energy i got from that walk outside :)