anagram 080502

 

DAVMO and GUS FINK [23 Jul 2002|02:44pm]
my hats are now for sale on ebay :)

getting all the ebay stuff sussed. feels good.
still working hard to get ahead of all the things i need to do.

my two fave artists on ebay:

DAVMO and GUS FINK, check them out :)

tonight is crochet night at eebomb's

i'm working on a new anagram and eating candied ginger
2 comments|post comment


making a living [23 Jul 2002|05:35pm]
why i charge $199 for my hats:

$199 - $50 for material
= $149 profit

the government will take 40% for taxes leaving
$89.40 left for me.

the hat took me 8 hours to make so i get paid about $10 an hour to make the hat

that is how i came up with the price.....

but actually i need $120 a day to live i have figured.
if i want to make my living making hats, and if i work 8 hours a day on hats and give myself $25 an hour i can make it work. of hat $25 an hour the government will take 40% which leaves me with $15 an hour.
15x8= $120

so really i need to charge more for my hats. unbelievable really. oh wait...and i haven't figured in the percentage that ebay takes when i sell and then the percentage that paypal takes when someone gives me money that way! plus the insertion fee for ebay. i have to figure that in. glarb.

anyone know on the top of their head what ebay takes and what paypal takes?
26 comments|post comment


anna-gram [23 Jul 2002|10:25pm]
first she wants an "annacam" and now...
from E!online:
"Anna Nicole Wants You...
...to get her free Anna-Gram!"

the new screening feature [24 Jul 2002|08:28am]
[ mood | pleased ]

i just discovered it and what it does.
what i did with it is i made it so that ANYONE can reply in my journal ( not just registered users ) and then i made it so that the anonymous replies are screened by default. which means only i will be able to read them.
SO...if anyone has anything to say to me personally that you do not want anyone else to read...you may do so by posting anonymously (of course it will HELP if in the reply you tell me who you are! )
and now people who don't have livejournals of their own can also reply!

i haven't gone to bed yet...so i am going to do that now :) my schedule is SO whacked.

31 comments|post comment


[24 Jul 2002|10:31pm]
i got some really delicious slippery soft fuschia eyelash yarn today. it cannot really be described. it's very feathery and slippery and the colour jumps right out at you!
and i got some cream coloured mohair :)

it's raining and thundering and lightning out.

i'm getting ready for bed. my mind is whirling with ideas.

[25 Jul 2002|12:46am]
to ana2:
very ambient livingroom sound if you put the stream link in your realplayer
if it's down it just means it crashed. it does that sometimes then i have to restart it
post comment


[25 Jul 2002|01:41pm]
i will have to look into the prices of things more. maybe my car is not worth 5,000. i thought it was but...
gah. blarg.
i am depressed today. overwhelmed. everyone is having financial difficulty. this is a hard time for everyone.

[26 Jul 2002|03:21pm]
today i have to CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN!
i've pretty much finished crocheting my red mohair sweater :)i'll take some pix of it later :)
7 comments|post comment


[26 Jul 2002|05:27pm]
i'm still really overwhelmed by everything and this is causing me to be really depressed. i can't get anything done. it's hard for me to even move.
jason is going to take me out to sushi. maybe that will help my mood.
i'm at least going to take out the garbage now. i have to do at least that.

[27 Jul 2002|05:45pm]
i'm feeling a bit better today. jason is helping me with things. i cleaned the house more. tonight we are going to see minority report and i'm very excited to see that. i think i'm going to take all the yarn i bought and crochet the weirdest blanket in the world. their is a free form "scrumbling" crochet convention happening in australia in august of 2003. i am going to do everything in my power to go to it. i must start saving NOW. i have a year to get it all together to go. i am so excited about it, i'll bet it's all i will think about for the next year. i am so happy i am able to be excited about things because that means i am not as depressed as i think i am. i also really really want a subsription to nest magazine. it's things like this that keep me going. it's things like this that keep me alive and full of hope and dreams

 

the fine art of nude crocheting? [28 Jul 2002|01:55am]
perhaps

 

today i am on the sally jesse raphael show [29 Jul 2002|02:40pm]
it's going to be embarrassing. i thought i was on a show about online diaries. i was totally set up. but i was dumb enough to be on this show in the first place so, c'est la vie.
28 comments|post comment


sallyjr....the scoop [29 Jul 2002|04:24pm]
ok, this is what was SUPPOSED to happen...

sallyjr co. called me up and wanted me on their show. they said i would be the ONLY one on the show and it would be ablout people that were against me having a cam and online diary. my x boyfriend, cris, said he would be on the show with me as the person who would disagree ( even though he doesn't disagree ).
we decided that what we would do is talk about my online diary and how i write about my physical and emotional abuse i experienced from cris when we were going out 15 years ago. cris would talk about how he feels uncomfortable that i was putting all of our relationship that we had into an online diary for all to see. i would say that i was doing it because i felt that abusers should be held accountable for their actions and that women should feel they have the right to speak of their abuse and not hide it or be ashamed of it and hold it all inside as a secret. i would talk about how online diaries are wonderful things for people to write and to read so that people felt less alone in abusive situations and greater dialogue could be had about this issue and other issues that needed to be discussed.

in the end...cris would see my side of things and agree with me and both of us would reconcile and have a happy ending.

the sally show also said that they would put my name and url on the screen when i was speaking. they didn't. all they put up was "ana".
i asked if there would be any talk show "psychologists" on...because i did not want any on. and they said that was fine and they would not do that. but they did.

AND they said they would reimburse cris for the 2 days of work he would miss to be on the show. AND THEY NEVER PAID HIM EVEN THOUGH HE LEFT NUMEROUS MESSAGES WITH THEM FOR MANY MONTHS!!!!

that was what was supposed to happen. but instead i walk out and i am on a show with a bunch of strippers and the topic of the show was "i'm a stripper, deal with it"

i WAS a stripper for a short time 15 years ago. but jeez.

anyway...
live and learn. as you know, not every single one of sally's shows are COMPLETELY evil and i thought i was on one where i could spread the message out that people should not have to live with their emotional and physical abuse being a secret. that one could empower onesself through online diaries.

c'est la vie.

i'm just glad her show was cancelled. she is a completely hollow evil exoskeleton.

i couldn't write about this at the time because i was totally drained from the experience.

but now, i'm fine. seeing it now, finally,...i think i really held my own pretty damn well and i'm happy with the way i carried myself.

i spoke to cris on the phone and he said i kicked ass :)
tomorrow he and i are going to get together for coffee and have a good laugh! :)

i can't believe i can actually say i was on the sally jesse show! what a trip.
23 comments|post comment


mobile homes [29 Jul 2002|05:02pm]
since i have been on the sally jr show...
i can now move into a mobile home and go back to eating hotdish. mmm :)
( i come from a poor background where this was the case, so i say this with great affection! )

now i really am compltely serious whe i say i am looking into buying a mobile home :)
and i have searched and searched online for any indication on how much these cost..but all i can find is those type of mobile homes that look like houses.

i want a single wide one...one that you can connect to a car and move if need be.
i don't want it to look like a house. and i don't want the kind that IS a truck.
i just can't find any info on these anywhere on the net! there is so much about people selling one used, or where to find communities...or where to rent land...or where to buy ones that look like ranch style homes...but no info on the kind i want.

can you help me?

then i need to get some leopard sheets, so glow in the dark religious icons, and a lava lamp and a "god bless this mobile home" sign :)
weee haa!

bookmarks (part 1) [30 Jul 2002|04:15am]
here are some that i have. many of them probably don't work anymore. who knows? these are the bookmarks i have in my "etc" folder. i have a BILLION more bookmarks to put up here! this is the first bunch of them.
but now i have been awake all night again..and the sun is coming up...so i must sleep!
i don't even know where 99% of these lead to! and they probably fill in a lot of info on me that doesn't get said inmy journals, art, and campix! eek!
happy surfing!

Bookmarks

! Best Mattresses, Adjustable Beds, & Sleep Equipment, Etc.
‚Ç‚±‚Å‚à‚¢‚Á‚µ‚å
+ glitter goddess +
++zapp
=^_^=..No KopyKats!..=^_^=
¥ê¥ó¥°¥ï¡¼¥ë¥É¡§ ¥¤¥ó¥¿¡¼¥Í¥Ã¥È
100% Sandwashed Fuji Seamless SILK Sheets-IVORY
2538 Sundown Drive, Los Angeles, CA
Acting Technology Reality Syllabus
AddALL Used and Out of Print book search
Adel Rootstein
Ai Ren Toga Ningyou TIC
Alesis A6 Andromeda™ 16 Voice Real Analog Synthesizer
Amphigory
analog search engine
Alibris - Books you thought you'd never find.
Allard Engineering
Alta System - Clothing Displays
AltaVista - World - Translate
amputee webring
Amrather Home Page
An Overview of Fashion History 1940's to 1950's
Ana Voog's Conversation With Tori
bad art for the few, mediocre art for the many!
Annie Sprinkle Post Porn Modernist
ball
Anton Gustavsson
apps2
Arcata Pet - Pet Supplies
ASCOT World Wide Picture Image Site
AT&T Wireless Services
Atlus Dream Entertainment Products
Audiograbber, CD-ripper for windows 95-98-NT
aurora.dti.ne.jp-~mikimiki-
AUSTRALIAN LIVE STREAMING WEB CAMS & ONLINE RADIO
Balthaser Studios
ARTIFICE
Axfords Home Page and Corset Catalogue
AXIS 200 Network Camera Product Page
Bed Pad and Mattress Cover
Dermablend Corrective Cosmetics
diarist.net diary-l
BADDAS - The RetroActive Audio Sampler
Bill Viola A 25-Year Survey
Dome Manufactureres, Vendors, Consultants
Domes International - 1-888-454-7390
Duct Tape Double
EarthStation1 The Internet's Media Museum - The History of the Media Age in MP3 Wav Audio, Photos & Video Images
Engaged
eYada.com
ƒAƒCƒhƒ‹‚s‚uƒlƒbƒg
Female Objects of Semantic Dehumanization and Violence
FlickTips
Fluxus Online
Foot Traffic - Specialty Tights, Socks and Hosiery - www.footraffic.com
Four Designs Company
GreatSpot.cc
Handmade-Glass.com Navigation Page
hoobalaboobala
http--www.gl.umbc.edu-~rabzug1-sewing-plaster.html
Index of -mp3
Index of -shout-
Italy - Jewelry - La Nouvelle Bague - Poesia Visiva
JCCARE
Jones on Bookbinding
LILEKS (James) Gallery of Regrettable Food 2.0
Lindholm~Studio
Links
Logical Solutions Inc.
LUCIFER'S TOP LIST! ABSOLUTELY THE DARKEST SITES ON THE WEB! Lucifer Rules! Lucifer Rules! Lucifer Rules! Lucifer Rules! Lucifer Rules! Lucifer Rules! Lucifer Rules!
M A C A S T - Amplify Your Life !
Mannequins-View & Reviews 01
MegaBall from BodyTrends.com
Michele Serchuk Photography
Midgard
Mind Aware Website
momoko
Mosquito Netting, Nets, Canopies and Repellants
mosquitonet
MP3.com - sebab
mp3
mp3it.com - home
MRP
MYPORN.COM Sexual Resources Gay-Lesbian-Bi
Omniglow Commercial Fishing Products
Reuse Program
RingWorld Society and Culture Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual
RINRINRIN
round beds!!
round beds
Siamdutch Mosquitonets
Starkers! Custom Corsetry and Dark Romantic Clothing
straight synthetic
Susie Bright Full Exposure
Sybergen Networks
tarepanda1
Technical Data-xdz125t-2
THE DOOR The Door is America's pretty much only religious satire magazine
The Estate
The Genuine Haiku Generator
The Maxx Home Page (unofficial)
The Official String Theory Web Site
The Open Diary
The Sex Education Web Circle
The Web's Best Place for Writers Who Have Been or Want to Be Published - TM
Three Commentaries on Gender and Electronic Discourse
Timothy McSweeney's Worldwide Fondness Story Begins Below
TOGU-BäLLE - Gebr.Obermaier OHG
Trojan Room Coffee Machine
Turbonium
Welcome to Lyra
Welcome to my home page ! Kiss you !!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to my home page ! Kiss you
Welcome to Vixen Creations
Women and Gender Studies Videotapes in the Media Resources Center UCB
www.rsub.com
www4.justnet.ne.jp-~mikimiki_fan2-sozai%20shop-index.html
Xing Technology Corporation
Xplanet
ZEN
Home
SilverSmiles, a braces fetish place...
The Museum of Questionable Medical Devices
Feng Shui Ultimate Resource
http--www.madonnaextreme.com-erotica-sex28.html
Official #Monitor Web Pages
Rebecca Martin and The Independence Project
Shih Tzu Connecting Point
MkzdK feedbackmay97
Haiku
LONG NAILS,NAILBYTES, NAILS, LONG NAILS, LONG FINGERNAILS, LONG NAILS CHAT, LONG NAILS MESSAGE BOARD.
Silent Source Supplier of coustic foams, sonex, whisperwedge, profoam, tecnifoam, fireflex, cutting wedge, barriers, baffles,
BDSM - SM - S&M - D&S - BONDAGE - SPANKING - POWERotics BDSM Network
bits and pieces
bofhcam menu
Mattress Covers,hypo-allergenic,waterproof,dust mite proof,allergy proof cover,allergy proof mattress cover
Healthye featuring air filters, water filters, lighting, and non toxic products.
Blacklight Volleyball fluorescent & glow-in-the-dark products.
Welcome to TokyoQ
CDW Product Overview
Women's Retro Shoppe
Blue Gardenia Vintage Patterns and Jewelry
Features
L D Fashions
Elizabethan Petticoats
Blooming Grove Studio- 9 Star Ki Astrology - Feng Shui - Macrobiotic Network
Bored.Com - Have Some Fun On The Internet
Bridal Slips with Bouffant and Drawstring
Call for Papers for Psychology of Men and Masculinity
CHEESE HOMEPAGE
Complete trips near your ideal times
contents8k
BIODOMES
Clear geodesics domes, awnings for decks, patios, and spa enclosures. Clarity Domes by Applied Geodesics, Inc.
Dome Construction and Geodesic and Monolithic Domes
Dome Page
Domes Northwest
Dynamism.com - Sony Vaio GT1
Earthship Biotecture Buildings
Earthship Biotecture
Econ-O-Dome Information and Pricing
Emmett's HomePage
English-Estonian Dictionary
Epoxy Seal Heavy Duty Sealer and Cladding
Flowbee™
FunFan fan!
Furniture & etc. Frame
Greenbuilding Mailing list Archive for February 1998
Han Time
Harness Boots
HealthyE - Product 'Austin Air HealthMate Standard'
HealthyE - Product 'Countertop KDF-GAC Water Filter'
HealthyE - Product 'SAD Lite 10,000 Lux Light Box'
holme
Hot Boots!!! A site devoted to a man's love of boots.
House of Wyatt's LINKS
http--www.ibmpcug.co.uk-~irdial-enigma.htm
Index to Harvard University web sites
Isabella Costumiere Catalog
Kits & Prices
Ladies and Mens Biker Boots
Nature's Miracle Stain & Odor 1 gal
OCA Home Page
On-Line Catalog
Order Form
Oregon Dome, Inc. For Sale
Pacific Domes - Geodesic Dome Shelters
Patterns from the Past
Pet Supplies, Pet Vitamins, Pet Toys, Grooming Products, Deodorizers, Disinfectants, Accessories, Cat Toys, Dog Toys, Cat Treat
Post to Post - I am from 2036
Price List
Pricing for GEODESIC DOMES
Radio China Index Page
radio.sonicnet
Request a Free Estimate from Dome Contractors, Inc.
Sensational Han
Sewing Patterns for Sale - Vintage, Old, Discontinued
Short Wave Espionage
SPNN - Saint Paul Neighborhood Network Contact
SpyNumbers.com
steve keene
The Beach Dome on Topsail Island,
The Conet Project Info, Ordering and Links
The CuttersCrew links page
The Dome Calculator
The Free Radio Network
The Invisible Dome Home
The Listening Post - Shortwave
The New House - Main Menu
THE STREET HARASSMENT PROJECT
TUK Gripfast Punk Shoes and Boots
Ultimate Frequency List
Ultrasonics Ferroelectrics Frequency Control
Uncle Matty's Dog Training Center
vera little
VideoNET Video Message
Welcome to my garage
Welcome to TheFetus.net
Worldwide Utility News
Quietpc.com for a Quiet PC - Silence the noise!
Salon.com Technology Online and underground
WebReference.com - The Webmaster's Reference Library - Web Authoring Tips & Tutorials for Developers
Overview PC Access without a Mouse
Interestssdf
dl
The Bodum online shop
Full Veggie Date Profile
Search Harvard University
Roy Stuart
AtomFilms Get Into Our Shorts 07
Tonos [ Collaboratory - Continue Your Access ]
Tonos [ Collaboratory - TC8 ]
PL500 Product Information
The Great Gate of Plasticville
http--www.btinternet.com-~quinnster1-hair-hair.html
http--www.venusbitch.net-
ROBOTGIRL.NET
Underwater
velocipede
-MINd ..... six(point)zero
-{ Pandora's Psyche }-
ColorQuiz.com - The free five minute personality test!
welkin's journal
tattered dress
Applied Geodesic Domes, Inc.
Choose A Region - PDA
Shareware
Long Island Staylace Association-Laced Corsetry & Stays Site
Sanrio's Hello Kitty shoes by Nana
http--www.1avenue.com-lysaghtc-DiaryofaMadman.html
http--netsys.com-~cameo-one-stacy-stacy_drama.png
Read Comments
Karmaloop.com; the Source for Online Fashion
Stacy Review Comments - www.ezboard.com
I.K.U.-com
Untitled Document
2www.lip-service.com Lip Service Clothing...Fashions for Fashion Freaks
Radio Station Guide
http--www.jesgrew.org-wake-mmfwrc.jpg
ENTER THE ENEMY
ViewCast Software & Driver Download
http--www.le-ciela.com-A-B.html
·fdfgfgf
members.jcom.home.ne.jp-antique-
where i grew up
chameleon hair
Riser legs will raise your bed creating closet size storage and beauty in your bedroom
Plushies
Dita Von Teese - Main page and What's New
http--www.orb8.tv-images-anarchy_big.jpg
http--www.fsinet.or.jp-~sokaisha-rabbit-rabbit.htm
Schema Browser
Schema Browser2
Anarchy[1] BBS
Dave NavarroTrustNoOne
Dave NavarroTrustNoOne1
DGM Robert Fripp's Diary Archive
Wasp Creations
MATRIX INTELLIGENCE AGENCY
Dialing by Theresa M. Senft
American Red Cross of the St. Paul Area
explodingdog
[SonyStyle Computers & Handhelds]
SONG FIGHT!
Welcome to the Dollhouse's LiveJournal -- Entries
Sybian for Sexual Gratification - Overview
Jane's Information Group
Welcome to CounterPunch
ANOTHER GIRL ANOTHER PLANET - a film by Michael Almereyda
MP3.com Artist Community Page
Screen Edge - nothing like hollywood
Selected Personal Introduction
GROUNDING THE HUMAN BODY TO NEUTRALIZE
Hatsuboku (Splashed Ink) Landscape by Kano Tsunenobu
Lycaeum Leda
Amazon.com -zShops Pagan Fleshworks The Alchemy of Body Modification [Paperback] by Mercury...
http--www.geocities.com-kittiedonna-
LostBoi's LiveJournal
Stephen's Never Never Land
i want u yer so BIG n HARD uve got such a BIG COCK's journal
Transsexuality
Fujisan.com-Japanese On-line Super store-Japanese Books, Magazines,CDs, Movies, Drugs, Calendars, Pokemon Toys, Gundam Models
The Birth of Venus - Articles and Information
buy.com - Product Information
Plastic Tubing, Rubber Hose, Fittings, and Clamps - NewAge Industries Products
Pink Mouse's Image Organiser
Pink Mouse Productions
PIXELSURGEON news
curency converter
firstVIEW Womens Collections List
fur suit japanese
Gingatetsudo Enterprises Inc.
Marylen Costumes Main Page
Possi's Contortion Site
The Modulus Fashion Lab
top4
goldsmith
Hi-Realism Mannequins by Guy Louis-XVI SFX
toppage
A_R_T_I_C_H_O_K_E_index
Triptonight
The Star Archive - Ana Voog
The Thin Page
IASHS
Astrology World News - Moon Phases
Heather Kleinman's Cosmetic Connection
Welcome to Lush Fresh Handmade Cosmetics- We are always fresh
N-courage Health Network
Harmony Central® Ampeg Reissues Dan Armstrong Guitars and Basses


bookmarks (part 2) [30 Jul 2002|06:47am]
here's yet another batch of sites from my "beautiful sites" folder.
happy surfing!

Bookmarks

Evolutionary Media - Streaming Video
...aegri somnia...
Jonni Nitro
The Digital Landfill
Welcome to Holo-X
Let_Freedom_ Burn
Blind Visual Porpaganda ( s o o n )
Shockwave
p1
Insight-Unseen
WOP
HotWired Animation Express
theLINKZ - The macromedia Shockwave Resource of resources !
Enter the world of spiff
data poetry
Exhibitions by description of the work and icon
abandon.org{v4shutterand I will see you in my memory}
http--www.kapelica.org-stelarc-
100 Trillion Haiku - The Genuine Haiku Generator
where Internet culture begins - fez.com
bomb pop productions
Link
Space1026 presents Reed Anderson
http--idt.net-~mumbles1-mumbleboy-4WOP-WOPmenu.html
INTERNET MOVIE CHANNEL 5.0
dolls of Hans Belmer
www2u.biglobe.ne.jp-~shio-x1-top.html
TOKYO COSPLAY GIRLS
Photo Meme
Cosplay Ring
‚è‚ñ‚­
cute site2
Cute Girls Interface
love love pink
p l a s t i c
www4.justnet.ne.jp-~mikimiki_fan2-
http--www07.u-page.so-net.ne.jp-yd5-raimu-naka.htm
CHESKY DOM
gyrl.friday.fonts
http--www.gerl.org-fonts-
ucho
baby art 2000
siteSakamoto - A Ryuichi Sakamoto Web Site
lol.dricas.ne.jp
Sha Sha Higby
fuse-b.com-top.htm
Getty ArtsEdNet Home Page (Getty ArtsEdNet)
GIF Rabbit's Carrot Pavilion
dead doll's playground - broken toys and shards of glass
Girls In Swimcaps
madjunk.x0.com-
asahi-net.or.jp-~yu3m-ymmt-
webcutie.pos.to-mikuro-
vets.ne.jp-~usagi-toy-index.html
shibuya.cool.ne.jp-sora19-mennba.htm
¥Þ¥æ¥Þ¥æ»²²Ã¤ÎƱÌÁ¤¿¤Á
‚½‚ꓯ–¿
## LOVELY ALGERNON ##
ww1.enjoy.ne.jp-~lastshow-natsu.html
www4.plala.or.jp-capsule-
osaka.cool.ne.jp-ryoko6-
‚±‚°‚Ï‚ñ
pinkpinkpink
pedrowear incorporated
roshi's LiveJournal
CALPIS FAN
calpisvideo
HOMEWRECKER.plus
Willing To Try
V-MATIONS
l3sli3.com
DHKY
ARCHINECT - pimpin' architecture since '97
http--www.depart.at-norbert-
eyestorm.com - architankture
http--www.kalx.com-
glowingbox
Kaliber10000 { The Designer's Lunchbox }
04
%20Wrong
DACAFE. photograph.
Untitled
feedback
nowhow designservices
golan levin homemade tidbits
anonymity
Vote!
Welcome to K'n'K! - video.ch
JEZEBEL the somewhat daily ditty
WebSite
nobdesign.com-da-uhauha-
PuriKura Page
drama`s grave
drawing nano-Ray
nanoRayspeX SeXualoverotic S private -SXS-
... dethany.com - subluminal communications - ...


bookmarks (part 3) [30 Jul 2002|07:10am]
it'll take you years to get through all this stuff...just like it took me years to collect all these bookmarks!

Bookmarks

Locked Diaries
Police Scanners
Anagram Genius www.AnagramGenius.com
In The Zone
Dame Darcy Comics Reviews and Links
Infiltration the zine about going places you're not supposed to go
R Sharah
The Etchinghill Studios Whiteboard
thenvelope
The Communion Homepage
Pseudo 6.0
Global Eco-village Network
Logical Solutions Inc.
Salon Urge Strap-on epiphany
..JumpCut..
Airbrush & Body-Painting bei Jannys ART
ALIVAR - Official Web Site - Home Page
Bilumen
card.21 - for most effective Internetmarketing
colette eshop
Dynamic Drive DHTML Scripts- Elastic Trail Script
Fears and Kahn
Fish Design Pesce Ltd., NYC 212.941.0164
Flash 3 Tips & General Questions -- Virtual-fx.net Tutorials
Gopf Furniture and Interior Design
Gremlins in the Garage!
Hot Links
How to I use Server Side Includes
http--www.idonline.com-imdr00-idreview.html
ImageStation - Free Online Photo Albums, Email Greeting Cards, and Digital Picture Storage
indexfred.jpg
Infra-Red FAQ v1.10 (96-10-19)
Made in Design - Cadeaux et objets originaux de grands designers - Alessi - Kartell - Philippe Starck
MODERN ARTIFACTS Online Store
Objects by Philippe Starck Sommaire Monde
OTHER LOMO PRODUCTS - ORDERFORM
Pinhole Photography
plasticratic
Puces & plus Antiquités-Brocante-Design d'occasion-Prestations de services informatiques
SCP Products Furniture Product Category
The Free Site is the best place to find freebies, freeware, free stuff, samples, games
The Outsider Pages
The Universal Currency Converter(tm)
Totem Design
Ulead Systems Innovative Multimedia Solutions
Un percorso nel design del '900 modernariato oggettistica design
USM Modular Furniture
Welcome to CHRISTOPHE LEMONNIER
Ambientedirect.com - home of modern living
ANATOMIQUE
Anfy Paint
ArtMolds LIfecasting Resource Center and Lifecasting Sculpture of the Human Figure By lifecaster sculptor E.J. McCormick
Bee KANNO Doll & Photo
Bookbinding Information and Bookbinding Supplies from Gigabooks
Bubble Chair -- inflatable furniture that blows up like a bubble!
Castings
CenturyModern
Contre-Jour, Boutique virtuelle
Design Within Reach
Earth Henna by Lakaye Mehndi Studio, featuring the Earth Henna Tattoo Kit, mehndi made easy!
Eckhart Interior Design Group the source on european interior design for home + office
evansandwong catalogue vol.1no.5
evansandwong
exhibitors
firstVIEW Womens Collections List
FlashTV Unofficial Shockwave Site
Form + Function - Modern Furniture on the Web!
FormDecor - Mod Links
Foundation NY
Herman Costa - Ricco-Maresca Gallery 212-627-4819
Hi+LoModern - 20th Century Artifacts
home.html
http--www.hidden.nl-hidden.swf
http--www.milkyelephant.com-mumbleboy-imagefolder-4WOP-MBbanner01.gif
Industrial Home
jane's mehndi sketchbook pages
La Galerie Moderne
Luminaire - Modern and contemporary European designed furniture, lighting and accessories.
Mehandi...Bodypainting with henna.
Mehandi...Patterns and Pictures
Mehndi Henna Body Decoration
Mid-Century Modern Living
milky banners
milkybanner2
Modern Auction
Modern Furniture Designs
Palazzetti - HomePage
Paper Dolls Page Homepage
Personal Works Thumbnails
Plaster Master - Industrial machines, foam, tools, machinery
Poly Ring
Polyamory Headquarters - Loving More, the Magazine of Polyamory, Polyfidelity, and Expanded Family
Polymer Clay Express
Portfolios Online Illustrators Fiona Smyth
PROFORM ...furniture for architecture
Raw Vision Magazine
RSharah
Rusty Zipper Vintage Clothing
Salon.com Technology Online and underground
searcher's outsider art quest links page...
So, What is Mehndi
spacify
Stained Concrete Photos
The Big KiSS Page - Paper Dolls For Your Computer!
The Henna Page - How
Tribu-Design Mobilier et Design - Furniture 1900-2000
unica home online catalog
Welcome to Yum Pop! ...by Cosmic Debris
Culture News from Wired News
Internet Society (ISOC) All About The Internet History of the Internet
List-Managers Mailing List Archive
Phenomenal Women Of The Web
Publicly Accessible Mailing Lists -- Index
Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan (RAWA)
W3C - The World Wide Web Consortium
Adult Body Painting Links at AdultBodyPaintingLinks.com
Behemoth's ASFR Lair
CENTURY Women from birth through 100 years of age.
DeMask Online
Erotica for Women at Scarlet Letters A Journal of Femmerotica ¨
Extreme body modifications- Implants
Gynoid Gallery - The Home for Fembots on Film
i n f i n i t e _ b o d y _ p i e r c i n g
Keith Alexander. Expert Piercer. NYC-USA. 212.337.9744
L.A.TEX Website - Fetish with Style.
ManneQueen
Mannequin Lovers
New Stories - Legacy of Timeless Beauty Archive
One-Shots - Mannequin Suit
Rings and Things - The World's Finest Body Piercing Jewelry in Stainless, Gold & Niobium
Shop@ssistant
SKIN TWO Online - Clothing Catalogues
Stuckfast Productions
The ASFR Master List
The Living Mannequin Circle
The Medusa Realm - Home Page
the point
Welcome to Design-Machine.ComIf you can fantisize about it, we can build it!
Amazon.com buying info Polaroid Transfers A Complete Visual Guide to Creating Image and Emulsion Transfers
Calumet Photographic. The online source for photo equipment and supplies.
Camera reviews at Photography REVIEW
CANON CAMERA MUSEUM - Camera Hall
Digital Cameras
evilmind.com
George's Polaroid SX-70 pages
island of idiots
jm3.net p x l - 2 0 0 0
Michael Going Gallery of Altered Polaroid SX-70 Photographs
Nintendo Game Boy Camera
Pixelvision
Polaroid Image and Emulsion Transfer
Polaroid Image Transfers--Book
Polaroid SX-70 Camera Review
Polaroid SX-70 Manipulation
Polaroid Transfer & SX-70 Manipulation Resources - creative uses of Polaroid films
PolaroidWork
PXL2000
scrap paper
SX-70, SLR680, SLR690 Polaroid Cameras and Accessories
The Internet Movie Database (IMDb).
Tony Nelson Photography
VB101
Welcome to Cress Photo
WQV-2-1 - Wrist Camera Watch
X10's Amazing XCam2 Wireless Camera!
Yahoo! Clubs kaospxl2000erotica
AstroCybernetics--Astrology with John Woodsmall
Distant Healing Network Home Page - Reiki, distant healing, absent healing, spiritual healing, alternative healing, free healing service, global healing
Earth Changes Update
Reptoids
ROSEMARY ALTEA
SETI@home Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence at Home
The Charlotte King Effect Web Site
The Reflectory - Free Reiki Distance Healing
Nudes Masked Home Page
Pregnant Bellymasks


bookmarks (part 4) [30 Jul 2002|07:51am]
these links are of dolls, things about webcams, music, art supplies and other things i can't remember. it feels good to get all these things off my computer and to a place where i can share them and still have access to ththem but not have to scroll through all of these every time i look for something!

Bookmarks

Toy Manufacturers of America, Inc.
Coté Plastics & Machining Customer List
dotcomcardz page 1
Hoyle(R)
http--209.98.224.502049-cgi-bin-setup
http--www.arachneweb.com-NewHouseShelter-
McKechnie Tooling & Eng. plastic molds injection.
Millennium Plastics
National Tool and Manufacturing Co.
Playing Card Manufacturers - The House of Cards
Product Detail
Product Search
projects
PROMOTIONAL ADVERTISING and ADVERTISING SPECIALTIES
The Plastics Network Where Plastics People Do Business
(Including Complete Book Manufacturing, Prepress Services, Printing, Binding & Materials)
Toy 'n Joy Products
Toys from Archie McPhee Online
ToySource -Toy related trade associations and organizations around the world
Uniques 1-800-948-9060 Promotional Advertising Products for the New Millennium!
!Utrecht Art-Canvas!
1www.lip-service.com Lip Service Clothing...Fashions for Fashion Freaks
AllBrands.com Sewing Machines
Alphachair egg-shaped stereo chair
American candle waxes
Appliances.Com Irons & Ironing Equipment Department
Attar Herbs, Spices & Essences - Herbs & Botanicals
Big 4 Fabrics - Jobbers and Wholesalers of Fake Fur & Stretch Textiles
Bodypaintingshop
bug - the latest collection of products from Craig Morrison
Carol's Zoo, Fur Order Information, Carol's Zoo site of stuffed animal patterns, fake fur, and notions, catalog
catalog
Choice Hair Extensions
Colinette Yarns, hand dyed textiles.
Contact four
Cornerstone Special Effects punky color lariche jerome russell Gothic Punk Hair Dye, bleach streaks Cosmetics, Jewelry
fabric8 online shopping for urban clothing, music, and accessories
fabric8 finery Penitent Sweater by Phobos & Deimos
Fabrics.com
Fetish Kitten - The Definitive Goth and Fetish Retail Guide
furrylegwarmers
gadgetshop.com - gadgets and gifts.
Glow Punk Tops
HCN00638 - White Sewing Machine #8800
Holey Skrim
https--www.aleenes.com-cgi-bin-Aleenes-Shopping-catalog.plACTION=CATEGORY15
http--www.btinternet.com-~quinnster1-hair-hair.html
http--www.monkeypaw.net-catalog-product.aspID=49
http--www.panix.com-~aqn-tailoring-
Incredible Stuff at Unbelievable Prices American Science & Surplus
Karmaloop.com; the Source for Online Fashion
Kundalini 2000 Collection
Leica Camera Homepage
longsleeved
Mehron - Boundless Creativity
Oddballs @ firebox.com - gadgets games boys toys - where men buy stuff
Piedmont Feather Boas and Hats!
Pin Up Girl Signature Line
Punk Tops
ragdoll weave co
S N U G I N D U S T R I E S
Sanyo Digital
Special Effect Contact Lenses
SUPPLIER DIRECTORY
Synthetic fur fabrics for teddy bears.
Tinker Toys - Jumbo
Translucents
Transmuters - Boots with Attitude!
Tropical Hawaiian Flowers and Leis Online
Welcome
www.lip-service.com Lip Service Clothing...Fashions for Fashion Freaks
...[]...
·dd
††† †††
3dcg.ne.jp-~kaizoku-dollcircus-
aoi iro no sakana
Art of the Doll - Mann Gallery
CalendarGirl
Doll as Art
doll gallery
DOLL HOUSE
doll.mda.or.jp-%7Enaruto-
--DOLL--
Dollhouse Noah's Gallery
Dollikin Dolls
Ecole de Simon 98 Spring - eyedia.com Doll Gallery
eyedia.com Gallery Welcome!
Fembot Home
Frame - eyedia Link
Hanna And Me
Home in English - eyedia.com Gallery
http--www.cty-net.ne.jp-~angel-2-
http--www.jade.dti.ne.jp-~miwadoll-
http--www.robotgirls.com-join.html
http--www43.tok2.com-home-innocentdoll-innocentdoll-index.htm
K1 web infomation
Kayuli Hiina _index
links-top
MAKING A CLASSICAL MARIONETTE
Mannequin Lover's Japan
maskframe
Mixed Media Figurative Sculpture Art Dolls
Moses Branson Home Page
MPEG movie - the birth of a characterdoll
O'Rattagyn
SPICE
SuperM - the history [part 1]
The Figurative - Featured Artist - Christina Bothwell
The Figurative - Featured Artist - Kazuyo Oshima
The Modulus Fashion Lab
tsuki_mikan
Virtual In The Pocket
von DESTROYER's doll haus a home for wretched dolls
welcome to fi-doll.homepage.com
Welcome to Real Doll
ZRnet
...all is full of love
A Dent In The Tori Amos Net Universe
A Realm of Mp3's [Tori Amos]
AIU A Yoko Ono Box
ANTENA PHOTO GALLERY
Anthem Links to Toyah in the Web
Astronaut Wife
Audio Dregs
Björk Selmasongs
Björk - The Ultimate Intimate
Bjork Remix Web
Blade Runner Bootleg
clock din
Dave Navarro is God-house version bedroom
David Sylvian - Trophies [Everything And Nothing]
drum machine
Fairy Tales... A Tori Amos Homepage
fegMANIA! - Robyn Hitchcock News and Info
Fuzzbox Mirrored!
Gaffaweb - A Tribute to Kate Bush and her fans
Gateway to Entertainment
http--www.geocities.com-SoHo-Square-7646-lyrics.html
Instant Karma!-Yoko Ono Lennon
Interocitor Beta
Jeff Buckley links
koband
k-rad _ electronic computer music
Lyrics Grace
Lyrics HQ - Your Music Lyrics Headquarters
Main Music Page
Mike Connor
Moocows Get A Taste Of Your Meat
MP3 Search
MP3.com - alfredson
MP3.com - Dan Fioretti
Native Instruments - NEWS
Nina Hagen Electronic Shrine
nine inch nails
Pink Sunshine- The Fuzzbox Home Page
Pink Sunshine
plaza.harmonix.ne.jp-~h-maru-normaltop.htm
pretties
RAD4 Fuzzbox
Radio K
Radio Station Guide
RADIOHEAD AT EASE or AT EASE [a radiohead site] ... www.ateaseweb.com
RioPort Home
RobynHitchcock Home Page
Spidery Music
SWANS OFFICIAL WEBSITE
TCL SPECIAL ORDER IMPORTS
The Deep Listening Home Page
The Prisoners
The Unofficial Robyn Hitchcock Virtual Cone Museum
The Yoko Archives
Tori's Beauty ..and a gun
Toyah's Shadow
UBL The Pretty Things Links, The Pretty Things Biographies, The Pretty Things CD's, Tapes, and more.
visionary activist - caroline casey
w w w . m a y t e . c o m
WebSense - Björk
Welcome to BowieNet!
Welcome to my World...
Welcome to the Dame Darcy Shrine
Welcome to the World of VinylVideo!
Wendy Carlos HomePage
We've Got A Fuzzbox And We're Gonna Use It! - FUZZY MEDIA !!!
Within Without - an unofficial Mark Hollis and Talk Talk homepage
_______puce_________
3Com Video - Home
8798.org's Phasenkamera Piece
A Webcam Resource - Over 2,000 webcam resources updated daily!
Advanced LG - webcam watching and reviewing freeware
AllCam - Webcam Editor's Choice
Alxpoll.com - Create a Poll
Amazon.com buying info 3Com HomeConnect PC Digital Camera
Amazon.com buying info Sharp VNEZ1 MPEG-4 Internet Viewcam
Apple - Products - QuickTime VR Authoring Studio
AT&T Wireless Services
atomcam!
Atomz.com Search Engine
AXIS 200 Network Camera Product Page
Bathtubgirl
beautifultoxin.net --
Big Tool Software
Black Box On-Line
C A M C O N N E X I O N............. GET LIVE ON THE WEB!
Cam Fan Questionnaire Intro
Cameras Accessories QuickCam Tripod
Cameras Accessories
CamSwitch - Automate your cam!
Capturix Products
CarlaZone WebCam and Thoughts
ChillCAM filter hints
ChillCAM Operation Page
ComCom
Creative Labs Products WebCam Video Blaster WebCam Go
CREDIT CARD BILLING, LLC
Digital Camcorders, Video Capture & Image Scanners
Digiweb, Inc. - Internet Presence Provider
Download CU-SeeMe 1.0
DragonWorks Software
Ducky Cam
Dynamic Drive DHTML Scripts- Top Navigational Bar II
Emulive Imaging Corporation
Free Counter and Statistics Tracker - Site Meter
GeneriCam - Free LiveCam Templates - Leech at Will
GO-Expulsion Policy
HitBOX.com - HitBOX web site traffic counter and analysis tool - WebSideStory
Homunculus
Hot Little Therm - RS-232 Serial Port Compatible Digital Thermometer for Computers
http--surveyorcorp.com-webcam32help-images-imageCycler_diag.gif
http--www.acshutt.com-
http--www.hereandnow.net-x_test.html
http--www.linuxcam.com-
http--www.lisagoddess.com-
ICQ Plus Home Page
Image Cycler Settings
IrfanView - Freeware Graphic Viewer
Isabella
ISpy WebCam Software
JARS.COM The #1 Java Review Service
JASBITS Top Five NetCams! - NetCam Committee...
JenniCAM LIVE
Jeppcam - The Jeppiest webcam there is
KringCAM www.shannonkringen.com
Legal Info
LifeCams
Little Sister - A CCTV Drama
LiveJournal Friends Color Palette
Logitech Announces the QuickCam
M1 Monocular
Macromedia Dreamweaver - Support Center Overview
meredith doeksen
NAB99 QuickTime 4
NerdGirls Web Cam Ring & Irritation Station
Oculus
PCSC - Extranet - Dealer Network
Peeping Moe CamGirl Exchange
Peeping Moe's CamDB Admin Tool
Photonut's Photography Links
Pink Mouse Productions
Play Incorporated  Products  Snappy  Patch files
Products Color Video Camera
Products Videum USB PC Video Camera
rainercam
Real Life Cams.com
Robotic Camera Mounts
s u r f r e e . c o m,  i n c.
sacredwhore.net
Salon.com Directory Big Brother
SMARTHOME.COM™ - X10, Remote Security, Video Controls, Wireless Systems
SnapComputing & InternetInternetNet CultureWeb Cams
So, You Don't Want Links Underlined, Huh
StarDot Home Page
StarDot Technologies Home Page (Digital Cameras, Webcams and Remote Cameras)
StreamBean
SXSW Interactive Panels
Tampa Tribune Florida-Metro story
The German JenniCam Tribute Site
The Official JenniCam Archives
The Peeping Moe's JenniCAM Fan Page
The UnOfficial Big Brother Fan Site
Translucent Computer Cases, Cases, ATX Cases, PC Cases, Laptop Cases, Chassis and Cases, Tower Cases, Color Computer Cases, Ser
Vista Imaging Inc., Home of the ViCAM!
Web.Studies, edited by David Gauntlett
WebCam World WebCams Directory, WebCam Help,... first and biggest WebCam Portal!
Webcam32 - The ULTIMATE Webcam software
Webcam32 - Working with profiles
Webcam32 Camera Cycler
Welcome to Dramality (TM)
Welcome to imood.com!
Welcome to the Terricam!
Welcome to webGRRLS - TwinCities Chapter!
WinFiles.com Windows 95-98 FTP and Archie Clients
www.anaiscam.com
XYBERNAUT Advanced Knowledge Delivery Systems
Xybernaut is the leader in Wearable computers!
ZDNet News Startup claims digital photo breakthrough
PictureTrail
SoundTracks - HomePage

a little piece to call my own
ok, there is a mobile home that i have been looking at in north dakota for a month now that i have talked down to $4,500.

i asked them if i could pay them $1,000 a month for it and i hope they say yes.

then what i would do is move into a studio apartment in THIS aprtment building i am already living at. and i would move most of my things to this place in north dakota that is only 12 hours away from me.

then i would always have a place where i could get away from it all, or if times got really rough i could live at. peace of mind.

i have always had this fear that i will go completely crazy and have to be hospitalized or something. or at least i might have a nervous breakdown or something. and that has already happened to me anbd the thought of being hospitalized and going into even further debt because of it is enough to drive me crazy at just THAT!

now i would have my little sanctuary to go to where i could lay on the grass and watch the sky and heal myself. and the lot is big and totally fenced so the dogs can run around to their heart's content.

it's 600 square feet. the lot is 100x100. the mobile home was made in 1975. propane heat. sattelite dish. air conditioner. public sewer and public water.

it has two bedrooms, a livingroom and a kitchen. it looks pretty nice :)

a vet owned it before but he is moving out of state now.

please pray that i get this cool little place that i can turn into my little space capsule home! and then i can save my money and improve my credit and maybe even build another house on this lot. a dome house :)

how are mobile homes insulated?
here are some pix of it...
now you have to imagine this home being voogified :)
imagine it PINK and imagine the inside all done up in silver paint and tin foil so it looks like a groovy space bachelor pad :)
the furniture even comes with it...so i would take some of it out and i would take the couch and sew leopard print fake fur on it :)all that panelling would be turned into happy silver :)
get all those gross things out of there! imagine the pupsters running in the yard :)

remember how my bio has always said:
"biggest dream: to live in a monolithic dome house in the desert and watch lightning storms "?

well, this isn't the desert but it is flat like the desert and i love that :)

imagine me on the roof crocheting...watching the clouds go by. or watching the stars!
it would be sooo quiet! i can meditate and crochet and paint and go for long walks in the prairie collecting sage for a little fire to melt marshmallows on :)

it looks like it is in the middle of nowhere, but it is just on the edge of town in a town called Portal. which is an EXCELLENT space name :)
it is the town you have to go through if you want to get to canada. so pretty much everyone works with customs. so they are used to a lot of different people. i called up the motel there and asked them if they would accept a weird artist girl, and they said yes :)
you get your groceries 6 miles away in a town called Lignite. all the old people car pool and they said that i could catch a ride with them, no problem :)

1/2 an hour away is a city called estevan, in canada! pop: 10,000
think how cheap i can get everything if i buy all my stuff from canada!
( although you pay something to bring it back over the border? )

i need nature. i need peace. i need my little sanctuary.
if this place is meant to be mine, then it will be :)

god, just to know that in my lifetime i will NOT be homeless is worth 4,000!
talk about a priceless thing!

i think i will collect many metal spoons and tie them with wire to the fence. wouldn't that be pretty cool?
or how about a fence of egg beaters?

there are no tornadoes in Portal. i asked :)
there are only special doorways to other dimensions there...and some buffalo :)
oh, and i think an outback steakhouse might be built there soon. lol :)

"so please please please...let me...let me...let me...let meeee
let me...get what i want..this time..."
---the smiths

PICTURES HERE: http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=ana&itemid=861739#cutid1

 

my other option [01 Aug 2002|05:06am]

ok, probably a better option since it is only 2 1/2 hours away is my little doll house in the town where i grew up. i wrote to you about this one a few weeks ago. it is 17,500...a sum a cannot afford. but my dad said he would help me. my dad will only help if he approves. so i hope he approves. i asked my dad..i said 1) i didn't go to college 2) i didn't get married 3) i've never asked for any money ever 4) i didn't even ask for anything in his will

please pray that my dad will approve of this house and help me. god, i just want a home so badly ( can you tell? )

i wrote to those people and asked if they would take 10,000 down and then 1,000 a month for seven months. my dad said he would lend me 10,000 for a house.
this house is actually 100 sq feet SMALLER than the mobile home...but it has cathedral ceilings so i could build a small loft to put my bed and have more space..
26 comments|post comment


[01 Aug 2002|06:34am]
i can't sleep.
4 comments|post comment


[01 Aug 2002|07:09am]
[ mood | depressed ]

fucking fucking fuckity fuck.
i'm trying to stay positive. but it's just so damn hard.

11 comments|post comment


[01 Aug 2002|07:19am]
detach detach detach
breathe breathe breathe
crochet crochet crochet
1 comment|post comment


[01 Aug 2002|02:29pm]
today will be a NONthinking day. i am absolutely totally sick of thinking.
*brain off*
15 comments|post comment


i'm moving [01 Aug 2002|04:25pm]
ok, on august 29th i am going to pick up the keys to my new apartment that i am going to move into. IN THIS SAME BUILDING. if i sell my car i will save 520 bucks a month (having the parking space here for my car costs 60 bucks a month). i will be paying 835 a month for rent instead of 1,355. so i save 520.
it is 1/2 the size *cry*, and no spectacular view *whimper*.
BUT i won't have to deal with these crappy drafty windows (that are the curse and the blessing of this place) that neither open nor close (barely). and i will not have to deal with this horrible built-into-the-wall airconditioner heater thing that makes SO much noise it hurts me and it barely even works anyway.
and i will not have...the...sun...pouring in....arrgghhh.

i will not have my red floor anymore *sob*
and my apartment won't be AS sound proof as this one is.

fuck...i feel like talking myself out of it now. augh.

but i will save $520. i was excited until i started typing this and now i feel rather sick again.

everything is making me depressed.

i have to get rid of 1/2 my stuff.

one of the ladies who works in the office is thinking about buying my car for $1,500

this SUCKS.
is this a GOOD thing???

whether it's a good thing or a bad thing i just have to do it anyway 'cause this is what i have to do?
---------------

in happier news i received a VERY FUN box from duckydoo filled with yummy things! THE YUMMIEST BEING A SILICON G SPOT ATTACHMENT FOR MY HITACHI MAGIC WAND!

i will write about this box more later and i must write her a huge thank you email!

they accepted my offer! [02 Aug 2002|05:35pm]
for my little house in the town i grew up in :)
10,000 down and then 1,000 a month for 7 months :)
it's less than 2 hours away from me :)
jason and i are going to go down there on sunday and look at it :)
I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

34 comments|post comment


[02 Aug 2002|06:48pm]
my mom called me a week ago and wanted to talk with me. against my better judgement i called her and told her about my house.
*yoda voice* not a good idea it was to call her. :/

she still doesn't understand why i don't want to talk to her. she doesn't understand at ALL how she is mean to me. she thinks that it's "transference" that i feel that.

so i said fuck it and hung up on her. whatever. i tried.

i'm going to try to get back to my good mood again. i'm not going to let her ruin my happiness.

BOXES with LIDS

i need to get boxes to pack my stuff in.
i want boxes with lids. i want to buy new ones because i want to keep a lot of my things in these boxes...i have so much fabric and art supply stuff that i need in boxes anyway. if anyone knows of a place who will ship you boxes with lids, let me know :)
14 comments|post comment


fence [02 Aug 2002|07:45pm]
how much would a 70x100 chain link fence cost, do u think?


orange monster and tire swings [03 Aug 2002|10:19pm]
valleyfair was fun :) for those of you who don't know what valleyfair is...it is a huge amuzement park with lots of scary rides :)
jason won a HUGE stuffed orange monster for me! what a yummy boyfriend thing to do!

now i need to get to bed because i'm getting up at 10am and then jason and i are driving to go see my house. i'm really excited!
if i get this house i will have so many more pictures to take because there will be so much new stuff to show you!
maybe i'll streak through the cornfields :) go explore old grain elevators! maybe someone will let me ride their horse! i'll see if one of my trees is big enough to make a treehouse or at least a tire swing :)
i'll be taking lots of photos tomorrow to show u :)

i've decided not to get that house [04 Aug 2002|08:39pm]
it needed a new roof :/
i'll wait until i can afford something better.
blarg.

at least i'll be moving to a smaller apartment so i can have less rent.

going to jason's to watch the anna nicole show :)

the BATTLE of the FAT [06 Aug 2002|03:14pm]
i'm sorry that lately i haven't been on my cam. i have been depressed because of my weight :( it is because of the medication i am on, and nothing i do seems to help. i am working to get off this medication ( paxil, doxepin ), but it is a long process. long long long. then i got on a new medication called trazedone to help me sleep since i went on prozac to get me off paxil *sigh* and it has made me SO tired i can barely move.
as a result my house is a terrible mess and that has made me even more depressed. i am running behind on getting so much done, it's not even funny. instead of finding the energy SOMEHOW to get ahead of my things that need to get done...it has the opposite effect on me where i just want to hide in the closet and buy yarn on ebay. it's all so embarrassing and i haven't wanted to talk about it because i can't bear the ridicule on TOP of everything else.
i'm trying to come to terms that my body is going to be fat for at LEAST 6 more months and i feel ridiculous that i am having a really hard time coming to terms with it. i feel like a coward and this feeling makes it even WORSE for me.
y'know , when you're feeling down the last thing you can deal with is a bunch of people emailing you telling you that you look like shit.
it seems that being fat is the worst thing a person can be in this society. i see the way people look down on fat people and , as strong as i am, i don't know if i am string enough to withstand that, TOO.
plus, as i was once thin and pretty, it seems the comments that are bound to follow will be especially harsh as it will all be in comparison of what i USED to look like. and i am in enough pain as it si without having to deal with megative comments.
i wish i were stronger.
i am trying to find the strength. i am coming to terms with the fact that people will say bad things to me. but i also have to remember that these are not people i want in my life anywayl. and if anyone is going to make fun of me for something that is beyond my control...then those people are really going to get theirs when age or something else , hits them, too.
we are ALL going to become less physically attractive as we age, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
i still have a few years left in me that i can be attractive, i just have to get off this medication. but right now i am going off it verrrrry slowly so that i will not have as bad of withdrawal.

and anyway...i *should* be able to deal with not being as attractive as i was...i hate that *should* word. but man, everything i have been fed from childhood on up that fat is the worst thing that can happen to a woman...these thoughts and beliefs are hard to break as they are the opposite of everything society is saying and has said.

i go AGAINST practically everything society deems as correct and good that you would think i would have no problem with this one. but there it is. maybe that is the reason it is so extra hard for me...i practically have NOWHERE to fit in that the LEAST i can do is be thin so at least i don't have to deal with the belittling on that one.

i guess i am way more insecure in this department than i thought i was. and i'm trying not to beat myself up about it....but then i have to realize that to be fat and be unapologetic and fine about it ...on a 24/7 cam...when i used to be very thin...is a normal way to feel in this society.

still, that doesn't make it any easier.

anyway....despite my fear...i really am going to try to make a huge effort to be on cam more. because this is destroying me and making me so so so depressed.

and if you make fun of me for the shape of my body...then fuck you...we are all going to end up ugly in the end. that is just the reality of it. i may as well come to terms with this now rather than later.