anagram 06.21.99
I've still been
feeling very inward and distant, as u can tell from the cam pictures these days.
the shots are from far away..or if it's on my face, I don't look into the camera
much. I feel irritable. I think that is because, in part, from me not being
on the pill. my body is readjusting hormonally. and I just feel uglier. my face
and body are breaking out because of going off the pill. I feel bloated and
icky. so it's gonna be an interesting "all naked all week in celebration
of the summer soltice!". I did start feeling better here and there. today
I have 2 get outside and do errrands and it's over 80 degrees out there. humid
, too. yesterday I got recognized by a few of my neighbours so that really made
me feel uncomfortable. I was sitting outside and they came up 2 me. wasn't much
I could do. so we talked about my cam and I felt reallllly weird about it. and
I told them 2 please not tell anyone where I live. and they said of course not.
but u know people. I just don't know. one of them was really scoping me out..i
felt. and I hope he does not have a membership and reads this! but if he does..hey
u…u were scoping me out! at least that's how I felt. then I realized that
my neighbours talk about me quite a bit more than I knew! like I don't know
if u remember when it was winter and I was sitting in the windowsill naked….well,
they found out about THAT, too…and we're saying stuff like "why do
I never get that lucky?" so now I just feel weird. not weird like I care
that they know or what they thin so much..but weird/scared that I hope they
will not tell others. I mostly trust them except one. and all it takes is one
2 endanger my life. but it's just impossible really to forever and ever keep
my location secret. I guess if I stayed here for a long time people would eventually
figure it out. but by that time I hope I'll move again.
I thought of a good thing the other day that will cure me of my frustration
of not being able 2 take any pictures of my outside surroundings. when I go
out, I can bring the laptop with but not have it ftp..just have it save pictures
2 my harddrive. when I get more $ I can get another laptop just for this purpose
of saving pictures I cannot show yet. then, after I've moved from here..i can
put up all the pictures! :) so that makes me happy that I can go take pictures
now that someday I can show. 'cause there's lots of cool things 2 take pictures
of around here.
I wonder if there is a way 2 hook up a cam 2 take close up pictures of things
a block away. does anyone know of anything like that? I guess it'd be kind of
like a spy gadget. or something u would get 2 take pictures of birds. I'm sure
there are special lenses like that for normal cameras. but is there one for
a camcorder?
oh! and I'm going
2 be on A&E this thursday! I'm so nervous 2 see what it will be! it's a
show called The Unexplained: Fantasies and Fetishes. it'll be on 9pm PT. that's
what it says on their site.
http://www.aetv.com/viewers/unexplained/fantasies.html
the universal sleep station is working out really well! so far I've got 9 people
involved in it. it's at www.voog.com. if u would like 2 participate please email
me at sleepstation@hotmail.com
it's cool 2 look over at my laptop and see 5 others sleeping "with"
me :)
here is a post
I made in anarchy…but I'm putting it in here, too…:
Posted by ANA on June 21, 1999 at 12:48:40:
i just posted this 2 the list:
today is summer soltice :) so in celebration of that, it's another "all
naked, all week! " :)
i started doing the all naked all week thing last "harvest" so..i
continue on in the anacam tradition of nudity 2 celebrate the changing of the
seasons ( except 4 when winter comes..i think i'll have 2 think of a different
way of celebrating....brrrr :)
i hope this email gets 2 everyone with an email address on usa.net...'cause
the last email 2 this list i sent off...everyone on usa.net got returned 2 me.
ack!
i am burning yummy russian amber incense and making coffee. i feel kind of self
conscious being nude this week because i'm feeling really introverted more than
usual lately. i think that is because , partly, i went off the pill and my face
and body are breaking out and i feel really "puffed" and irritable..like
pms...but it is my body trying 2 adjust itself back 2 it's natural "thing".
so i haven't been paying much attention 2 the cam and have been a lot more verbal
instead of visual.
i replanted my cacti yesterday so i hope they start growing..one of them died
due 2 neglect...i do not have the best green thumb , but i'm workin on it!
i just bought this double cd of stereolab rarities...and it's really great..so
if there are any stereolab fans on this list...i suggest u go buy it at some
point. in fact, i'm going 2 go put it on now because it cheers me up :)
the universal sleep station is on it's way. (www.voog.com ) last night 3 people
and i slept together :P
me, stef, eric, and oplalcat
and there are few more people that will join us soon :)
i had my laptop by my bed open to that page...and i'd wake up periodically through
the night and look over 2 see anothe person sleeping..it was cool, imo!
if you'd like 2 participate...email me at sleepstation@hotmail.com
i just woke up so my stomache is all grumbling and it look like it might even
be sunny today 4 a change so perhaps i'll go outside and try 2 shake the weird
dreams out of my head that are stuck in there. but what i really should do is
clean "the thing room" so i can get in there and start working on
all the art projects i keep putting off.
like typing out my journals, painting and sewing stuffed ana-mals
i was caught doing a really embarrassing thing the other day. i was at a record
store buying the stereloab cd, and i looked 2 see if they had my cd in stock...and
they didn't have it as far as i could tell. then when i was having my purchases
rung up..i saw there was a piece of paper for people 2 write down cds that they
were out of stock on. so as the guy was ringing me up...i QUICKLY wrote down
my cd "anavoog.com" and hoped he wouldn't see me. but he did! and
he said "we're not out of that!: and i just looked down and said "umm,
yes, i think u r" and then he said "hey! are HER aren't u?" and
i was looking down all embarassed that i had been ordering my own cd and said
"yes". and he said" oh! now i'm embarrassed!" ( that he
didn't relize i was ana voog ) and i said " no, I"M embarrassed!!"
( for ordering my own cd). and then some girl comes over and said "no,
we aren't out of that we moved u into the "club" section. and the
guy said "ya, u are in that section, would u rather be on "pop"?"
and i said, "ya , i would...'cause it's really a pop record..it's not very
club at all" and my face felt like it was red...plus, imo, i just looked
like shit! so they were so nice and moved my cd into the pop section and i just
slipped out of there feeling all silly and stupid! :)
"ana voog makes rare outside appearance! is caught ordering her own cd!"
rrgh. :)
ok...i must start doing....something..now
like making a new anagram or something....
peas,
ana