June 3rd, 2003
    
     
     

5:13pm

more questions about women

Q. I heard that when a girl loses her virginity that it
hurts the first time or first few times. She said it hurts atfirst then feels good. Did she mean it hurts everytime at firstthen feels good, or it hurts the first time then feels goodevery time after that?

A. the answer is that it is different for each individual woman.
for some it hurts, for some it doesn't.
and yes, it really can hurt after that, too...or not ever hurt again.
it's really an individual thing. we all have different vaginas and the opening to those vaginas all come in different sizes.
if a woman is having sex with a man whose penis is too large for her, it's going to hurt.
if it's just the right size or smaller, then it's not, usually.
it all comes down to her size and the size of the man.
just as men have different sizes of penises...so do women have different sizes of vaginas.
so there is no one answer to your question.

Q. why do you think women tend to move between wanting sensitive caring men and "bad boy" types?

A. women want security and understanding and also adventure and excitement and it's hard to find these qualities within the same person.
it's the same as why does a man want a hot seductive playboy bunny but also a wife and mother. you want security..something you can rely on and trust....but you also want adventure and excitement.


Q. Why do woman always ask "does this make me look fat?"
Meaning, "I think this makes me look fat, but if you tell me it does, then I'll hate you; but if you say it doesn't, I'll hate you for lying to me!"?

A. it's simple. women who ask that kind of question but do not really want to know the answer are insecure. no amount of telling them that they look fine when they look fat will help , tho. and no amount of telling them that they look fine when they are actually fine will work either, because validation for one's beauty (inner and outer) must come from within and not without.

a woman who asks the question, "does this make me look fat?" already knows the answer to that question. if she thinks she looks skinny in that dress, then she would never ask the question in the first place.
she WISHES she didn't feel she looks fat in that that outfit....so, by asking you what YOU think (and your answer better be she DOESN'T look fat...because that is all she really wants to hear)...she is really just wishing that you will help her somehow either #1. be brave enough to wear that outfit anyway or #2. help her maintain a level of denial that the dress does not make her look fat.

but it's deeper than that...and here's the crux of it:

she wants to know that YOU see her through rose coloured glasses and that no matter what she REALLY looks like in that dress, to YOU...she is pretty no matter what.

so really, the question ACTUALLY is "do you love me even tho i look fat in this dress?"
that is what she is really saying.
and by you saying, " no, you don't look fat"
YOU are actually saying, "i love you no matter what you look like in that dress. you are always beautiful to me."

she doesn't want you to lie...she really WANTS you to see her as beautiful. and so, if you are ingenuine in your response...she will feel it/know it. she wants it to be genuine that you see her as beautiful no matter what.

4:02am

http://www.tigermagazine.org

http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/english/

2:22am

12:00am

what book are you reading?


i am STILL reading:

courtney love biography
the knitting sutra
astral dynamics
the power of now

i'm asking people:

"questions about women? i see some men still having so many questions about women. saying that they still can't figure them out. i am here to answer all your questions about women once and for all! ask away :)"

i also asked on my lists.
and here are my responses
to questions asked on there:

Q. Okay, one question about women; do you ALL think men are psychic, or just the women I know? Is there a reason we men have to guess what women are thinking, but we are required to confess every thought that comes to mind? just asking...

A. that is a problem with some women...that we are not as upfront as we should be and then we want the man to "guess".
i think it stems from the feeling that we are not being valued enough to be paid attention to and to get to know. we are like, if you LOVE me you will have figured out my needs by now and be able to give me what i need without me having to ask for it. because we think it's EXTREMELY wonderful when men do things for us without us having to ask for it. it means that you were paying attention to who we ARE and that means that you love us and respect us. if we have to ask for what we want..then it defeats the purpose because then the man didn't have to do any work to figure us out. and if you don't like us enough to just figure out a few simple thinsg about us...then why should i tell you ANYTHING? it's not the doing something for us that makes us happy...it's that you loved us SO much you paid attention to who we ARE and therefore KNEW what to do ...and THEN did it. we want you to pay attention.
but this can really backfire on us and i also think that on many occasions it is unfair to the man and it actually can be rather hurtful and passive aggressive. so i don't recommend women do this as much as we want to.

if you are feeling from a woman that she wants you to confess to her your every thought...it's because you are being really distant from her in some way and she's just trying to get closer. i would go ahead and confess every thought to her until she was satisfied. but do it in a loving way. she will eventually get bored of hearing everything that is in your head and she'll stop.
but i would also try to show her some love and attention in other ways. don't make her try to get blood from a stone.
maybe if you just sat down and wrote her a heartfelt letter, that would mean so much more to her than hearing all your thoughts, most of which are probaly boring to her anyway. then she has something tangible she can read over and over and be satiated in that way. we like stuff like that. and men hardly ever do that, so it'll make it that much more special.

if the woman that wants you to guess what she's thinking but also she wants you to tell her your every thought...it's her way of saying..." i'm paying attention to YOU...why aren't you paying attention to me?"

Q.What do women really want in life?

A. what each women wants is different from woman to woman.
but basically it's the same as any human...to be loved, to be valued, to be respected and valued as a unique individual, and on a basic level...security (food, shelter clothing)...as all humans want and need.
but beyond that...it's a very individual thing.

 

Q. how can a woman say your the best guy in the world and then dump you or me?

A. she meant to say you are the best guy in the world...but not for her or...
she is obviously confused!

Q. First of all, why are women so damn elliptical, so cryptic,
so nonspecific when it comes to speaking of or to a
guy they (might) like? Is there a rule book somewhere that
tells women: "Maintain obscurity and plausible deniability
at all times."?? Seriously. I am drowning in a sea of half-hints.
Is it ME she's talking about in that dreamy way? If I ask
her outright, she can easily deny it and make me feel
a fool.

A. i think you are hanging around the wrong women.
i know men that are just as cryptic and hazy...but they do so so they appear interesting and smart
because in actuality, they don't have anything to say.
it's just insecurity.
but if you meet a woman who really likes you, stick with the ones that will let you KNOW it without a shadow of a doubt.
and there are PLENTY of them out there!

Q. so why do women tell you they love you and then they leave you?

A. because love and compatability are often two different things.