June 2nd, 2003
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6:50pm

questions about women?
i see some men still having so many questions about women. saying that they still can't figure them out.
i am here to answer all your questions about women once and for all!

ask away :)

6:37pm

reasons i am cool:

1. i'll try anything 15 times
2. i have great taste in all things. even when i like things in bad taste, it's good.
3. i can carry on a conversation about anything and make it INTERESTING.
4. i am tuned into things other people don't even know exist.
5. i can create something out of anything.
6. i see beauty in things most people wouldn't look twice at.
7. i can do anything i put my mind to.
8. i can survive anything.

reasons i suck:

1. i'll try anything 15 times.
2. sometimes i talk too much, too fast, and appear extremely flaky.
3. sometimes i actually AM extremely flaky.
4. sometimes my fear gets the best of me
5. i am mostly unreliable for short term things like calling you on the phone, returning your email, or ever seeing you.
6. sometimes i self loathe...and that's always unattractive.
7. sometimes i short circuit and can't get anything done.
8. i could implode any second.

things i have done in this lifetime i am proud of:

1. made 5 albums, got on 2 major labels and survived the ordeal.
2. made the world's 1st art-life cam, made a living from it, got recognition from it, and made tens of thousands of kick ass photos.
3. learned to crochet and made 30 hats.
4. never let fear get the absolute best of me.
5. survived the crazyness of my family pretty much still intact and sane.
6. remained true to myself throughout everything, mostly.
7. remained financially independent throughout most of my adult life.
8. loved the people in my life in the best way i knew how.

things i still want to do:

1. make a film
2. make 3 books
3. make another album
4. see japan, spain, amsterdam (or just travel everywhere)
5. buy a house
6. create/sew/crochet a unique wardrobe of clothes just for me
7. become more at peace with everything
8. create an android of myself.
9. make the greatest and weirdest hats this world has ever seen.
10. become financially stable.
11. get organized once and for all.

things i am OVER with.
(the been there done that category)

1. wondering if there is a god
2. wondering what my purpose is in life.
3. worrying about leaving the house without make up on.
4. worrying about if i will "make it"
5. worrying about what my parents think of me
6. worrying about what anyone thinks of me ( PRETTY much..i'm not TOTALLY over this one)
7. NEEDING to be famous

things i wish i was over with.
(the "please god, make it end already!" category)

1. any kind of self analysis
2. lists such as these
3. needing to be beautiful
4. wanting recognition for my achievements and for who i am
5. wanting to be understood
6. needing to be seen as a unique individual
7. needing to feel valued (but i suppose that is one that is just human nature and cannot be stopped?)
8. reliving over and over again (in my mind) things that are not resolved

6:01pm

so cool. i weighed myself today and i weighed a pound less than i thought i did!
so now i weight 115. long ago, when i hit 115 i was so depressed and freaked out about it. but now that i am 115 on the way down instead of 115 on the way up, i feel great about it and i don't think it looks that bad at all.
when i started my cam i weighed 90 pounds. i usually always weighed somewhere between 90-97 all my life. that's just the way it was.
people always told me i was too skinny which i think is just as obnoxious and rude as someone telling you that you are too fat.
i don't know why people always thought it was perfectly ok to comment on what THEY thought my body weight should be. fuck that.
anyway, my goal, right now, is to weigh 107...because i remember i was pretty happy at that weight. and i'd be ecstatic if i could weigh 100. that is my ultimate goal. but if i have to weight 115, then i wouldn't be all that sad about it except for the fact that i still cannot get into 95% of my clothing.
this is the SECOND time i have had to struggle to get my weight down. and the 1st time i did it i swore it would never happen to me again, but then i went on that cursed paxil and my entire body went to hell and i have been struggling ever since to get it back down AGAIN.
so THIS time when i get down to my ideal weight it's NOT going to get back up there again the way it was because i am NOT going to be on paxil or anything else that will throw my body out of whack like that!
i tell you, it was DEPRESSING to finally get my weight down and it had taken me a year to do it just to have all my progress flushed down the toilet by that damn paxil. it was totally beyond my control.
god, it has just been a battle for YEARS!

but now i am losing weight and i'm not even trying. it's just leaving me little by little and i'm so happy! i'm starting to feel like myself again.

god, i never want to deal with gaining weight EVER EVER EVER again.
EVER EVER EVER EVER!!!!

please do not post any anti-medication sentiments to this post.
i'm not anti-medication. i'm just anti-paxil for ME.
i do not want to hear from anyone about the evils of ALL medication, because i believe mediaction to be , basically, a good and essential thing for many people.

and please do not post to this anything about what you think i SHOULD weigh, what weight you think i SHOULD be happy at or how you think i SHOULD be thinking about anything to do with my body. i don't want to hear about how you think i used to be too skinny OR too fat. i just don't care.
do not post that i used to look better when or i look so much better now or you think i will look better at such and such a weight.
i just don't want to hear anyone else's opinion about my body or my attitude towards my body because i've heard it...been there . done that.
when it comes to this subject, i am not open to opinion or debate.
and i'm exhausted just thinking about past debate and opinion on the subject of my body and it's various forms.
i hope you understand!

feel free to post about YOUR experiences.

thanks! :)

2:41pm

music for sale
ok, my paypal is working again.
yay!
so you can paypal me the money for my cds, if you still wanted one.
my paypal ID is ana@voog.com

here's what i have for sale:

i have 20 autographed copies of anavoog.com i am selling for 30 bucks each.

and 20 autographed copies of "please god" cd single that is enhanced with a
cool video of mine i made on it...also 30 bucks a piece.

these are not in print anymore. and these are the LAST ones i have.
you aren't going to get anymore of these autographed by me EVER.

as an extra bonus...
each one will also come with an autographed print of one of my photos i have
taken recently. i get to pick which photo you will get so it will be a
surprise.

ADD $5 for shipping and handling!
and add $8 if you are overseas!

i also have my 20 autographed "Hollywood" 12" single on VINYL! very rare!
it has remixes of "Hollywood"
1. eddie's friday nught tunnel mix
2. davis ospina's club mix
3. JUNO REACTOR 12' mix
4. mike ski's n.y.c. glamour mix

if you want to vinyl add $2 more for shipping because that is a lot bigger.

12:50pm

the "6 feet under" finale was pretty intense!

12:48pm

bippity bippity boo...

 

 

3:20am

a loud smoke filled night