anagram 052902

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my great grandmother's crocheted bedspread [28 May 2002|12:05am]
i went into thing room #2 to get some clean blankets, and i came across one my most treasured family heirlooms...a crocheted bedspread by my great grandmother on my dad's side. i didn't even know it was crocheted...but now that i know crochet a bit i can see that it is. it has always awed me, but now even more so! someday i hope i can crochet that well and it would be an interesting project for me to crochet a duplicate of that bedspread. it makes me feel happy to follow in my great grandmother's footsteps.

i wonder what year she made it? i think i was alive when she was alive but i don't remember her. guessing that she was 80 when i was born in 1966...and making a wild guess that she crocheted that when she was 30...i think that would make the year be 1916 when she made it. that's absolutely mind boggling to think about!

i will take some pictures of me with that bedspread. when it gets colder again, i will wrap it around me when i crochet :)

[28 May 2002|12:53am]
new anagram up :) now i'm going to tuck myself into bed

new livejournal feature [28 May 2002|08:33am]
i've found out that now when you go to a person's userinfo and look at who they have listed as friends, if you see a journal with a line through it, it means that that journal has been deleted. this is a great new feature so that you can get rid of journals that no longer exist.

however, when i view mine...i get a list of everyone i have listed as a friend's user icon and an update as to how many hours or days it has been since they updated their journal..which is also cool....but i want to see the lines through my friends whose journals do not exist anymore so i can delete them so i can add more friends....argh...anyone have any idea how i can see it like everyone elses?

can anyone else see my friends list in my userinfo and see lines crossed through journals names? if you can see it that way...could someone list the journals here so i can delete them?

[28 May 2002|10:18am]
mixtapes
a community where u can trade mix tapes! nice! :)
and here's another all about mail art:
mailart
and another neat one:
craftgrrl

oh wow THIS one!
avant_garde

ah yaaaa!!!
fruits

anyone know any groovy livejournals from other countries? like japan?

mmm, added:
abstractthought
alphabet_soup
wordoftheday
surrealists

[28 May 2002|11:59am]
so many livejournals...so little time....

i am on LJ overload! i added tonssssssss of new people and joined 7 billion new communities at least!

GAH!

i went to bed at 2am and got up at 7am 'cause sebastian barfed and that woke me up.
now it's NOON and i haven't even opened my shades. i'm so tired.

i feel anxious and have a headache again for the trillionth day in a row. i'm still in a good mood , tho.

i think i will go back to sleep.
kind of hot and humid in here, but i have a fan.

my right earlobe is infected. i don't know why. i haven't had an earring in there in MONTHS. is my body falling apart?

paxil withdrawal? [28 May 2002|12:42pm]
damn, i feel worse today than i did yesterday. so dizzy and feels like my head could pop.
i am wondering now if i didn't feel the effects of this paxil withdrawal so much until now because i had that cold and was on a lot of cold medicine?
this is starting to bum me out now. i tapered off paxil a couple weeks ago , i think. i know i wasn't taking it when i had a cold..except for maybe a couple of days...when did my cold start? i know it was the day after i saw the new star wars movie whenever that was...

ok, i just looked in my LJ when that was...so today is the 10th day , i think, that i have not taken paxil..except for perhaps 2 sporadically in there somewhere...

is that normal for me to feel withdrawal after 10 days? i think xanax withdrawal can last a month or more? so perhaps.

well, damn yes. since i know that is what is happening to me. it has to be. what else could it be? grrr.

[28 May 2002|01:19pm]
i'm too hyper to take a nap yet. all the muscles in my body ache from tension. especially my neck. i wish a big thunderstorm would happen. i'm glad i have yummy food to snack on. maybe i will go crochet in bed. i want to start a new hat. tonight is crochet night again at eebomb's. i hope i feel well enough to go. i will have to wait and see

paxil withdrawal website [28 May 2002|03:31pm]
http://www.quitpaxil.org

THIS is what i'm going through. don't EVER go on paxil.
i'm telling you there are far better medications to take for depression or anxiety that do not have such horrible withdrawal symptoms as these. it's absolutely not worth it to go on this medication.

there is also a yahoo groups called : paxilwithdrawalsupportclub
and another called:
thepaxildatabasesupportgroup

i joined that and i'm checking out all the messages now.

here's another place.
the paxil withdrawal guide:
http://paxil.bizland.com/jbuzzw.htm

Jello Confronts the Depression [28 May 2002|05:15pm]
click here! this site is hilarious!

and The Unbearable Sadness of Vegetables

new cherry red crochet hat [28 May 2002|05:29pm]
i think that's what i'm going to make. gonna start crocheting now with pretty cherry red yarn :)

[28 May 2002|11:39pm]
i am so miserable. my brain isn't working. i'm on a crying jag. i'm printing out receipts to work with my accountant tomorrow. my brain is so not able to do anything. i'm sore all over. i'm not tired, yet i'm exhausted. i HAVE to get to sleep RIGHT now because i have to be up at 8am and be there all day. i can't even talk about it or type it. i am totally in a state of fear and anxiouness. i'm so wound up about having to function tomorrow in a strange place with a person i don't know doing things that my brain can't deal with even when i'm feeling well. i just want to scream and have a nervous breakdown. but i have to keep it together somehow.
sorry about my cams crashing. everything is crashing. i am completely overwhelmed and freaked. i just want to dig a hole and die there. this really fucking sucks.
nothing anyone could say would help right now. i will make it through this tho. i know it's only temporary and this will pass.

[29 May 2002|12:31am]
click here! hand made rune sets by thingie!
3 comments|post comment

[29 May 2002|11:24am]
i stayed home today because i feel too sick. i rescheduled for tomorrow at 11am.

i was having the weirdest dreams, not total nightmares..just weird and uncomfortable. one part of the dream that was cool is i found two eggs and out hatched two very large birds. i fed them puree of worms with an eye dropper. i didn't know what kind of birds they were until their mom came back...and she was an owl. but she swooped down on the babies like she was mad and wanted to kill them. but right then the babies learned to fly so they were safe. i thought is was so cool they were owls because i love owls. then i was in a cab with the owls. i had them in a cage to transport them. i was talking to a girl on the opposite side of the world who was also in a cab with owls. and i said what are the chances that we'd both be in cabs with owls? everything was happening in two's that day. i was also in an old building waiting to see my accountant. i had known the building ever since i had been born and had many memories of it, i think. i was sitting on a long dark wooden bench that went the length of the room and on it also were two old ladies. they were sisters. they were 90 years old and everyone called them senile because they would always sit on that bench and recount old stories from their lives while sitting there, a if those stories were happening now and they were still young sisters. i tried to get an art deco silk velvet throw on the bench. that was also about opposites being the same since it was absolutely symetrical. so that blanket was a 2, the old ladies were 2, and the owls were 2, and i was a 2 with that girl on the opposite side of the world in a cab with owls also.

the dream went on and on and there were parts that were more awful, but i don't feel like typing it all out

[29 May 2002|11:54am]
it's another nice day outside. hope i get out for a walk and take the pupsters. that would do me good. i need to shake all this sorrow from me and throw it in the river. i will do that. i know what is going on with me is mostly chemical and it will be over in a matter of weeks or sooner, i'm hoping. my mom and i exchanged a few more emails that were sad to me. i reached out to her again in a small way but she rejected that. it makes me confused. i told her i was learning to crochet and would like to crochet her a hat if she would telll me what colout she wanted. she ignored that part. at least there were no harsh words spoken. trying to shake that out of my heart now.

i'm going to drink some yummy chai tea now and eat some mangos. then i think i should stretch a bit.

[29 May 2002|12:39pm]
made the stream picture smaller so that i can have the sound always and it will not crash. i'm moving the computer that was in the bathroom into the livingroom, so that when that crashes i can see that and fix it right away. so now when i'm in the bathroom, i'll bring the mobilecam in there. i'm thinking of switching the streaming to the bathroom computer that is not in my livingroom/bedroom. that one has the logitech on it. now that the streaming picture is smaller...why have the nice digital cam doing it when i could put that to better use making bigger stillcam photos. and then anacam will once again have a better picture that does not crash. that computer doesn't have sound...but i could still run the sound on my main computer separately. the sound and the picture would bith have to be opened separately and they wouldn't match up...but i'm not doing anything that the sound and picture have to match up...also then it would be nice to decide if you want only streaming video OR streaming sound OR both, if u prefer.

this is all too complicated to type out. so i'll stop trying to explain and just do it. :)

dark side of the moon [29 May 2002|01:00pm]
everything makes me want to cry. like i have some universal sorrow stuck in me

[29 May 2002|01:44pm]
cam 3 and 4 are back :) i think now that i've switched around some hardware, things will work out better

[29 May 2002|04:07pm]

my heart