anagram 05.27.99
yesterday I say
around all pmsy and feeling really ugly and discontent. I tried to keep trying
2 make myself go outside because it was such a beautiful day out, I felt guilty
for not going outside and taking advantage of the situation. then I finally
came 2 the simple realization that I just didn't want 2 go outside! I think
I go through this every summer here. because there are only a few months of
nice weather..i feel obligated 2 have 2 go on the nice days. but I just wanna
live somewhere where it's ALWAYS nice so I can go out ANY time..like when I
FEEL like it, not because I "should". I came 2 this realization a
few summers ago and it was a big relief to finally be able 2 stay indoors on
nice without any feeling that I'm weirdo. I guess I had 2 re-realize it yesterday.
also, people put some pressure on u 2 get outdoors here when it's nice. friends
or parents will call and say "it was gorgeous out today, dis u get out?"
and I'll say "no, I never made it outside" and then they have this
pause and I just get this vibe from them that they think I'm really unhealthy
for not getting out. I think it must be the 11th commandment or something "thou
shalt go outside on nice days and ENJOY it while u can!"
anyway, so I stopped guilting myself and then I put on 700 layers of foundation
2 make my skin look perfect 4 the cam 'cause I was feeling really self conscious.
but then I started going hog wild on the make-up until
well, u see the
pictures! it was so hard 2 choose which ones 2 put in this anagram..'cause there
are SO many more. those will make it into the ever increasing floppy discs 2
go into arcana. I have hundreds of pix 2 go in there. I'm not in a typing mood
today. so this anagram is more pictures than text :)
I think I'll go watch talk shows now and relax that I feel I can be a slob today
again 'cause I did my glamour "duties" last night. lol :)u know what
I mean :)
I'm so new wave it's sick! put on your missing person's records as u look at
the pix :) I kind of look like those girls in the flock of seagulls video!
oh ya, and also I have noticed that I repeat the same "positions"
a lot with my body. I find it interesting and
more on that some other day.