anagram 05.21.99

today I cleaned more fur off the carpeting and then put 5 boxes of baking soda on it 2 hopefully get rid of the dog smell. ack. gee, what a glamorous life I lead!
I ate this yummy butternut squash soup! I went 2 the store 2 get more of it, but there wasn't any. I don't even know what brand it was. it was in a carton like those soy milk beverages come in. I love the vanilla flavour! have u ever had those? oh no, wait..it's a rice drink…called rice dream..that's it! yummmmmm :)
here are some pix from the day and then the last few are genitals from anacam watchers! god, I think my pussy looks like a big sloppy clam compared to those! ack! I want mine 2 be small and delicate like that! and the penis pix are pretty cool, imo! I showed the piercing one 2 jason and he said he saw that pic on trina's page…so perhaps it was a guy who just found it on the net and sent it to me. but I know the other ones are from the actual people who sent it. the piercing one looks so cool. but how would u have sex? perhaps u don't have sex in the conventional sense if u get that done like that. and I wonder what it looks like when hard. I have heard of some women who get pierced so that their vaginal opening is completely closed. I would think a woman would do that if she had been molested or something 2 literally close that section of her off as "off limits". but most likely there are a multitude of reasons for doing that. all know is I think it would suck 2 have your period and have your pussy lips pierced shut.
I remember the 1st time I used tampons and it was a total revelation 2 me! I didn't ever use tampons for many years because I was so afraid of toxic shock syndrome. what on earth IS that anyway? my mom thought she had that once. and I remember how sick she was. my dad had 2 carry my mom 2 the car she was soooo sick. I'll never forget that.
god, writing that right now brought this sick rush of emotions 2 me and I had 2 get up and open the windows. it makes me soooo sad 2 remember that my mom and dad once lived together and loved each other like that. my dad was so worried as full of love and care as he scooped my delirious mom up and rushed her 2 the hospital. *cry* I always think that my mom and dad getting divorced did not affect me. but then when I remember those precious few moments that they interacted with each other, I get so full of longing 2 see them both together in the same room again.
they did not have a terrible break-up or anything. I remember when they were married it was like they were just platonic best friends. I know that my dad misses my mom, and the other day my mom admitted 2 missing my dad. she said she would like 2 see my dad sometimes and just hang out with him. but she is worried that her husband now would feel uncomfortable with that. and I think that's reallly weird. I mean my mom and dad were married for 13 years and had 2 kids! wouldn't it be NORMAL and GOOD that they should get together ONCE in awhile and just hang? arghhhhh. lame.
so next time I talk 2 my dad I'm gonna tell him that my mom said that. and dammit I wanna have lunch with both of them at the same time! I don't know why I feel such a longing 2 see that. I didn't feel this way ever before…just recently I've felt this. actually, I think if I saw my mom and dad have lunch together I think I'd start crying and my mom and dad would get all uncomfortable about that. argh.
my dad is so cute! did u see the picture of him when he was young? what a dreamboat! ya, I have a father fixation complex thingie or whatever u call it. but how could u NOT think my dad was a total dreamboat? he is kind and brilliant and cute and funny and interesting! the only thing is, he is not affectionate. he is really WARM, but he doesn't like 2 hug or anything. women fall in love with my dad all the time. so many women have tried 2 "kiss my ass" 2 get my dad. and I'd just be like "puh-leeeez..that AIN'T gonna work, honeyyyyyy!"
oh woa…a few hours passed and now I cannot write anymore! I'll cut and paste a few posts that I made in the public and private anarchy today. and I'll post more strange and cool "mystery genitals" in tomorrow's anagram including a cool one of mine from my scanner!
here are the posts:

ok, i'm sorta awake now. i took a sominex last night 'cause my head hurt and i wanted 2 go 2 sleep 2 get rid of it.
i got the new anagram up.
the NEXT anagram i'll include some of the pictures people sent me of their genitals ( such a WEIRD word!)
i feel all groggy
deiter has been escaping through the fence in the hallway too many times lately, and he has chewed up quite a few of my fave things :(
one of them being this silk velvety jacket from the 20's or 30's. argh.
he's such a cute rumproast and i love him to pieces but WHEN will he get over this stage? *sigh*
maybe today i'll actually get 2 take a walk 'cause it's not raining. yesterday it rained the entire day nonstop. now it feels very humid. i hate humidity unless i'm in the shower.
now i will go clean the kitchen and then take a shower and go out and buy carbonated liquid sugar beverages and tp.
deiter keeps hacking because he keeps trying 2 eat the carpet.
pooka and deiter are walking all over the living room right now like discontent goldfish.
i still feel bad about the goldfish.
jason is doing such a great job at work that the president of the company gave him a bottle of wine from his personal collection from a private vineyard!
yum :)
i have the emboss filter on 'cause i feel i look gross. my face is all broken out and stuff. i don't know WHEN i'm going 2 get my period..but it keeps feeling like soon! i think it's been a month since i've been off the pill ( i ran out).
so i have to get another pap smear to get more pills, but i don't want to take the bus to there ( it's far away )and u can't get a pap smear when u have your period..so i have to wait until after that happens..since that could be any minute now ( i hope!)
ok, that's all 4 now..i gotta keep moving! :)

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i can't b a glamour queen everyday as much as i'd like 2!
also, lighting plays an infinitely important part in how tired/happy/young/old i look.
for some reason the lighting in the day with the camera angle it's at now makes strange shadows on my face that look rather unflattering, imo
i have this scar on the right side of my face, too..that is hardly noticable..but when the light hits it from a certain angle, it makes it look like it's a big wrinkle right by my mouth that makes me look kind of tired crabby.
that is my biggest pet peeve with my body right now...besides that my breasts are crooked...but i won't get into THAT right now :)
all of these things i know are rather silly 2 b upset about! but when you're on cam 24/7 and 5,000 pictures are u being taken every day..it gets 2 me!
the reason i have that scar is because there was a mole there. then my parent's made me have it removed because they said that it was getting bigger and that "boys wouldn't kiss me" if i had it. grrr.
then after that, it grew back..but without any colour..so it looked like this bump there..so i drew in a mole there with eyeliner every day from about the age of 13 to 30.
then it would aggravate me because if boy's would kiss me it'd always come OFF. grr.
so then when i had my breasts enlarged, i told the surgeon to take off the bump/mole.
but now the scar bugs me more than the bump!
grr.
so now the next time i have any $$ to go BACK 2 the surgeon, i want him 2 laser off the scar!
anyway, that is a big reason i look tired sometimes.
everything with me has 2 be this big story explanation, eh? :)
so that's why sometimes i use a lot of filters..'cause i just think i look tired sometimes!
it's good 2 just click "emboss" sometimes, even though it's annoying 2 most people!
but i'm the one who is on cam 24/7...so "emboss" is my friend! :)
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i'd like u 2 get a cam, though, and then livegrab all your pictures and find out how often YOU smile :)
who needs 2 smile when we have "emoticons"? :)
if i'm not smiling it just means i'm really concentrating and thinking..which is a good thing!
i like "imperfections" too. most often i find "unusual" looking people the most sexy..
BUT, it's been proven in tests that we respond more favourably to symmetry in a person's face!
i just watched a show about it the other day, it was very fascinating.
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i know what u are trying 2 say :)
but cher has a VERY symmetrical face!
probably a good example of an unsymmetrical face would be judd hirsch ( sp?), the guy from taxi...
although when i was young i had a crush on him :)
i have a thing for weird looking people ( now jason will read this and wonder if he looks weird. jason u don't look weird! u r as cute as a button!)
i mean my 1st major crush was on pinchas zukerman...( born in tel avaiv in 1947, he is a world reknowned violinist and violist..hehe)
he was a conductor of the st. paul chamber orchestra here for awhile. i was LOOPED for this guy! there is a good story behind that!
other people i liked back then are john mcenroe and roy scheider...i THINK they have unsymmetrical faces..but i'm not totally sure
but then i think i fall into the category of people who find REALLY REALLY looking people attractive..like midgets and amputees and stuff
( ok, now i'll bet i've REALLY got u thinking!)
i just like the strange and unusual
like the one thing i hated MOST about that movie Titanic ( besides that i think it was a totally dumb movie overall...sorry)
was the part when the guy main character was showing the girl main character his sketches..and she got all jealous when she saw his sketches of the prostitute..and he said he just drew her because he liked her hands..and she was like "ya, right!" all mistrusting..and then he said "no ! really! she only had one leg!" and then they both laughed and she was all relieved as if it were a totally ridiculous notion that a woman with one leg could be thought of as beautiful and sexy.
god, that REALLY pissed me off. i feel SO badly for all the so-called "deformed" people of this earth...that they are not thought of as sexy people..that it can be laughed at in the hugest movie of the year..and no one even bats an eyelash! ya, i know it's almost impossible to be all PC about EVERYTHING..it's hard 2 even breathe without offending somebody somewhere..it seems.
but we really have a long way 2 go in this culture before no one anymore is discriminated against because of their body shape.
like being fat is the WORST thing u could be in this society besides "stupid" or "ugly"
i feel so bad for any "stupid, ugly, fat" lesbian black amputees of the world!
think of the burden they must bare ..god, i cannot even imagine!
it's hard enough being a skinny blonde girl! damn.
ok...rampage
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feet are also different sizes.
my breasts are exactly the same size ( a perfect D) because they are fake.
when i meant my boobs are crooked..i didn't mean that that one was bigger than another ( but in most women boobs that are different sizes is more normal than ones that are exactly the same size)
what i meant...well, for one thing my nipples point outwards...which is pretty weird to me..
but one of the implants rotated and it's kind of at a slant now...
if u ever see me grabbing my breast on cam and squeezing it and you're wondering "WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE DOING???" it that i'm trying 2 smash the implants back where they "should" be.
it's most bizarre. most people are really icked out when i tell them that.
like the shape of them is that they are ovals...and they are supposed to be laying horizontally...but sometimes they rotate and get more verticle ( especially after sex! :)
it kinda cracks me up...but i'd rather they didn't do that.
it's a great party trick!
the other thing i can do with them is light them up with flashlights. (y'know how u can put a flashlight under your hand and u can see through your hand and it's all red with veins?)
that's what i want as my next album cover..a pic of me with my breasts lit up!
it's truly a freakish thing. my breasts go from sexy 2 side-show carnival in 1 second flat!
( i'd like u to do THAT, marilyn manson!)
mwahahahaha
another thing that is weird with my breasts, and i've talked about this before...is that in my cleavage u can see ripples...because there is no fat there AT ALL and the implants themselves are rippled ( 2 adhere 2 your skin more )u can see these ripples.
that is the #1 reason i want 2 get then redone someday.
blah blah blah breasts bla bla....