may 20th, 2003
    
     
     

12:45pm

10:38am

i can hear children chanting band-type parade stuff outside.

cold boiled eggs, cole slaw and coke for breakfast.

brain spinning with 7,000 thoughts.

i must take a nap. i'm not used to the morning.

it's weird that a year ago things were almost the same:
1. crocheting (learning to...this time my new learning is spinning)
2. thinking my life was finally taking a turn for the better (i feel this, but more hesitant to say it this time)
3. problems with my printer and my mom (printer ok now, but tv died...mom stuff...same old same old)
4. feeling rundown (last year had a cold..this year only feeling like i might get one)
5. wanting to try out for survivor (but this time i will)
6. it was cold outside.
7. reflecting back on previous years
8. wanting to sink my teeth into a big project..music/ film/ travel

i better get a move on so that when i look back a year from today i am NOT writing the same thing! good grief!
i want to be writing " i am in the studio!"

9:49am

1 year crochet anniversary
tomorrow and my (eebomb's) 1 year crochet anniversary!
i made 27 hats.
4 scarves.
1 sweater.


8:54am
it just occurred to me that all the great blondes of the world,
are/were actually brunettes!

8:08am

the above pic is from a movie i MUST see called Cremaster.
bionicgurl told me about it!

i am obsessed with all things clear.

bionicgurl is going to get a clear leg!
she also loves things that are clear :)

the above picture above that is boots i just bought.
i can't afford it but i also can't help myself!

paypal is stil dicking me around and this causes me stress.
i want to strangle them all.

i have so many ideas running in my brain right now
that it's actually almost short-circuiting me.

the are all ideas that have been in there for many many years.
they were just added to and modified and are more complete now.

one is a movie i have been working on

one is a book

one is my next music album

many are hats and how these hats now fit into my movie

many are photos and now how these photos fit into many other things too numerable to count.

and a bunch of other stuff just too complicated to explain right now...

i need money. money to start my projects.

it excites me. hurts me. overloads me. causes me intense pain and pleasure.

it tortures me.it makes me want to live and want to die.

die because i just don't have the money right now to start so many of these things.

i will probaly die without seeing 97% of my ideas every come to fruition.

a fucking tragedy.

i have to think of a way...

i can't explain where my head is at right now.

it's a good thing mostly. i think...

see? i can't explain it..

short circuiting i am.

and my server bill is 70 bucks more this month. gack.

fuck fuck fuck.

so i probably should not have bought those boots.
but i need those boots for my photos and my movie
and my album cover
and they were only 50 bucks and discontinued.