may 15th, 2003

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art on ebay

9:10pm

more to come...

i'm off to see the matrix

7:21pm

full moon total eclipse in scorpio tonight! 8:37 pm PDT, 11 :37 pm EDT

This is the Full Moon to honor the transformative power of truth-telling. This Full Moon is the final piece of the New Moon in Taurus ritual performed two weeks ago. This is the night to freely release the goals you set at the New Moon, and let the universe support your hard work with its magic. Since this Full Moon falls in a water sign, releasing your intentions near a stream, river, lake, or ocean is particularly powerful. But before you let go, have one last look at your goals. Whom do they truly serve? What will they bring to the world? Since Scorpio demands depth and fearlessness, this last look will have to be brutally honest. If your goals require a change of mind, of heart, and/or of action, this is the night to successfully tackle fears that could impede the ability to fully embrace change. Scorpio seeks deep truth by peeling back layers of lies and half-truths— within us and without us. This is the Full Moon to see things as they truly are, not as we would wish them to be.

This Full Moon in Scorpio is accompanied by total lunar eclipse; where the Earth will, for a time, dampen the light of the Scorpio Moon. Though all Full Moons illuminate the dark places (metaphorically bringing light to the darker/hidden aspects of the human psyche) the Scorpio Full Moon does this most powerfully by heightening the ability to face and transform our relationship to power, control, manipulation, lies, and deceits, as well as deal with the intense fear associated with the Plutonic stripping away of one's external personae to reveal the dark material inside each of us. Scorpio looks under the surface of things for the subtext of hidden agendas and secrets that dare not be spoken. The lunar eclipse will bring a short respite from the intensity of the Full Moon in Scorpio. If you are planning a ritual during this Full Moon, make sure that between 8:35pm - 8:50pm (PDT) you are resting or eating a little something, or listening to some healing music; using the break to nourish a sense of ease and calm. This eclipse's totality will last about 53 minutes. In the USA, east-coasters will get the best view and see the entire eclipse, but it's worth looking for it in the rest of the country. From the western half of the USA, the partial phases begin before moonrise. From the Pacific Northwest (Oregon and Washington), the Moon will rise already in total eclipse. Unfortunately, strong evening twilight will interfere with eclipse watching until the sky grows dark enough, by which time the total phase will be over. The eastern half of Canada also witnesses the entire eclipse while the western sections miss the early stages. If you want to read more about the lunar eclipse, visit NASA's web site.

With Pluto, Scorpio's planetary ruler, traveling through the sign of Sagittarius, we are all questioning what is truth. It is so hard to discern truth in what we read, see, and hear. Spin is everywhere. Pluto is like a big flashlight, lighting the dark places and uncovering secrets. The Full Moon in Scorpio is the night for full disclosure. It is the night to empower ourselves by naming our truth and shouting it from the rooftops. This is the Full Moon to celebrate our right to know. Though your merriment can take many forms, it should be done with others. It may only take one person to uncover a secret, but it takes many people working together to break the spell of illusion and denial.

This is a great night to gather with your community to openly discuss polarizing issues that have been hard to tackle: the idea being to get beyond scripted points of view to find the real issues that divide and separate. Commonality can be gained from truthfully admitting where both side's arguments lack focus and power, transforming divisive issues into unifying solutions. This can also be quite effective at the office to openly deal with power/control issues that have festered under the surface of daily interactions. These hurts and disappointments become a cancer that destroys teamwork and healthy corporate cultures. On this day, dealing openly is the path toward eradication. It is also a perfect time to reveal lies and cheating at your workplace.

The Full Moon in Scorpio is a powerful time for family ritual. Though talking openly and honestly is challenging, it works magic for bridging gaps and bringing people together. Try passing around a talking stick, allowing everyone to speak without interruption about whatever is on his or her mind, and in his or her heart. Remember that on any Full Moon, the Moon is reflecting the light of the Sun in its opposite sign. The reflected light of the Taurus Sun is aglow with the love of and deep commitment to family values. Taurus likes hard work. Opening the lines of communication can be very hard, but ultimately very rewarding. This is especially true when issues of self-esteem (Taurus) lie at the heart of a family's problems with trust (Scorpio) issues.

This is also a great time for couples to tackle trust issues, especially if a secret has been coming between the two of you. This is the night to reveal it and deal with the consequences. Scorpio can bring destruction or relief and most times a bit of both. Just know that no matter what happens, change is essential for evolution and growth. At its core, Taurus/Scorpio wants to love. Yes, Taurus can be judgmental, boorish, and opinionated and Scorpio can be too intense and demanding; but both signs eventually come around through an overwhelming need to love and give care. The Taurus/Scorpio polarity requires that we learn about our power and then discover how to deal with it effectively.

This is the night to show up in a way that feels most honest for you, which sometimes implies revealing a secret or a fear. When we name our fear it loses its power over us. Make sure that if your agenda is to reveal, that you do it surrounded by a supportive, caring group of people. Don't go this road alone on this night. Sharing the pain and the joy of disclosure is the way of Scorpio.

For those who can't take all of this deep disclosure, do something a bit more fun. Join your friends for a game of truth or dare, or create a mystery game or a treasure hunt. It'll be a hard night to pull the wool over anyone's eyes, but it might be a lot of fun to try!

Lastly, those of you who wish to do work around deeper spiritual issues, the Neptune/Jupiter opposition will create a perfect opportunity to deal with loosening the bonds of attachment to old wounding and Egoic suffering. Though Jupiter in Leo expands our sense of self-importance, Neptune in Aquarius awakens us to our responsibility for a wider world of concerns than our own hurts and disappointments. The Full Moon in Scorpio is a time to release attachment to old pain and arise like a phoenix from the ashes of burned off karma, freed from narcissistic self-obsession, and ready to help others heal their own pain. The Moon conjunction with the South Node makes this a particularly intense night for releasing old wounds. Visualize yourself as a snake, shedding its dead skin to reveal a gleaming new, colorful self.

So meet the challenge of this Full Moon in Scorpio. Go deep enough to face the underbelly of your life, your goals, your community, your nation, your government, and then arise to embrace your power to transform this often dysfunctional, war-weary world!

if you pay me by paypal, please continue to do so. just don't write in the comments or email that it is for ana2. say it's for stuffed animals.

5:50pm

this day SUCKS so far.
get this...paypal decided to make it so i cannot use my account, but conveniently not until i had transferred 141.00 in there to pay an important bill today. it says that my money was transferred in there on the 12th...the day this important new rule went into effect (explanation in a sec), but that is a LIE. it transferred in there today AFTER this rule, and i received one of their automatic emails about it today, too.
so get this...they now have a rule that no mature sites can use paypal.
THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW ASSHOLES.
they said they sent me an email about it, but i didn't get it. they make mistakes. just like it says my account is CLOSED but it's NOT (they apologized for their mistake).
so now i had to go remove all things paypal from ana2 and then write an email to them via a internet browser. a box you type in then press send. so i don't even have an email to contact them! who knows when and who is going to read the email i sent. and god knows when they will get back to me on it or HOW they will get back to me. the person on the phone said it would be within 72 hours. i'm not holding my breath.

if my account had been closed it said they would hold on to my money for 6 months!
i'm glad that wasn't the case. i just about had a heart attack.

that money was going to pay for one of my servers today and i'm sure they are jumping for joy to find out (when i emailed them) that they are going to be fuct by this new rule, too.

america is so PRUDISH. what the fuck???
people who get nude can't do business? what the fuck kind of stupid ass religious moral bullshit is that? what IS that??
seriously, i think it's FUCKED. there should be a law against discriminating against people who choose to be nude in their art or business or whatever.
it's so fucking prudish and just STUPID!

god, i hate most people right now.

so i have a question. since ebay now owns paypal...and on ebay you can sell "adult" and "mature" things. why can't i then auction memberships to ana2 on ebay and have people then paypal me the $ for that auction?
is that some weird loophole?

+++++++

and then fucking photochallenge.
AUGH!
they don't allow nudity or photoshopped photos. so i started photocontest
i link to them even. i say thanks for the inspiration! but photocontest is NOT photochallenge. it's apples and oranges.
i'm NOT going to be hurting the photochallenge community in any way! why can't people post to both? well, they DO. the more the merrier.
i'm PARTICIPATING in the community, not spamming it the 2 times i have posted there to enter the contest with a SMALL link under my photo saying that there is a community for PHOTOSHOPPED photos as well...i make sure people see there is a DIFFERENCE
so the mod of that community tells me to stop putting a link to photocontest when i post in there.
then some asshole says i "spammed" his lj, too, with a link to photocontest and the mod gets all smug about THAT.
well, i DIDN'T. photochallenge was DELETED for a day and no one thought it was coming back. so i found this thread in this person's journal where people were talking about their sadness in that community being gone and that maybe another one should be made and if so, then they would join it. so i let THOSE people know i had started photocontest and they BOTH said THANKS and joined!
the guy HIMSELF even said, and i quote: "I may join but I really don't like allowing Photoshop in a photo challenge for more than just simple crops and color adjusments...."
the other two people who i was talking to said "Very cool! Thanks!" and "thank you!
joined!!"

why is it SO BAD to just let people know about something that they had expressed interest in??? am i not doing people a FAVOUR to let their photos be seen?

i mean practically all the photos in photocontest wouldn't be allowed IN to photochallenge because they are photoshopped in some way or they are nude!
so HOW am i hurting photochallenge?

i just hate people petty bullshit!!!!!!
GAH!!!!!!!!

why do people have to be so mean????
and so petty?????

so i just don't even feel welcome there now.
and the moderator put together all the photos to vote on and she, of course, put MY photo on the VERY last page. all by itself.
NICE.
THANKS.

please, don't go gossiping about this to photochallenge people who might be upset with this post. i don't want the drama. i'm just expressing my frustration in this friends only post. ok?

it's just too bad because it'd be nice to work TOGETHER and exchange traffic so that all people can benefit from the many DIFFERENT lj communities that share similiar interests.

++++++++++

and then my mom writes me another email.
WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and she, of course, is still reading my journal and has to comment on how much i look like her as i'm aging. THANKS MOM!
i'm going to go get plastic surgery now.

++++++++++

it is not a good day so far.

but tonight is jason's last day of school...and then 3 months of summer vacation for him (and me! i get to SEE him!)
and tonight we are going to the matrix and i am very excited about this.

now i just need to go calm down.....

mercury is in retrograde i think, still.
mercury is the planet of communication and travel.
when it is in retrograde it means that it is APPEARING to go backwards in the sky.
when this happens, the planets effects are diminished or screwed.
so mercury, planet of commnuication and travel...communications will be diffucult. more fights might break out due to lack of communication. things may get lost or delayed in the mail. travel will have delays or more difficulties, etc. phone lines..connections of any sort may get fritzed and have complications.

also i'm having trouble getting into hotmail.
and my soulseek will not get connected even tho it says the server is up.

things like this: mercury in retrograde.

blarg.

5:44am

i was going to go to bed long ago...

2 mouseovers:

http://www.ne.jp/asahi/beetle/calcium/WANKO.html

sitting at my desk looking down and to the left

things things things in the thing room...

walls and walls of things. i never unpacked...

my desk in far right corner.
there is where i make you anagrams

tall ceilings

looking from the hallway into the thing room

view from my desk

view to the right of my desk.
beyond that the small kitchen.
taxidermied raccoon and vaseline glass lamp thing

looking up from my desk

i'm going to see the matrix today :)

12:00am

these pix are from a past anagram,
but i put so many up that day,
i feel some may have gotten overlooked.
so i picked up my faves from that day...

phantom breast

hypnotized

my magical room

reclining on dashboard

self portrait with pear

self portrait with tv dinner

hand of god shaves stomache w/ giant razor

split

the button

i just realized that , all this time, my thumbnail maker programme
is making my thumbnails 2 or 3 times more KB than the actual picture!
gack! must fix this.....

what is this?
http://www.splinterworld.com/

+
bjork midi files!

i'm looking for clear plastic or plexiglass furniture.
it sure is hard to find!