anagram 051400
(click on the pix 2 see original size)

i'm so tired i couldn't even put these pictures in any order or add the captions to them that i wanted to do and making some silly stories out of them. so i'm just whipping this up as fast as possible so i can FINALLY go relax and sleep or watch tv or something because as much as my interviewer was very cool and we had a great time, by the third day of it i was way beyond my saturation point. like WAY beyond, so i am just UTTERLY exhausted. so if i lay around a whole bunch for the next few days, u know why. and i'm so upset that the computer that was streaming so nicely has decided to stop functioning. not the computer but the dsl. the geeksquad guy must have configured something wrong. i dunno. and i can't call anyone 'acuse it's sundau and mother's day and all that. i'm gonna see my mom on tuesday. jason went over to his mom's right now for dinnner, but i didn't go because i can't handle one more speck of anything social whatsoever. must. stare. sleep, recharge. so here is what i have written in "read my mind" the last few days:

oh, and sorry cam 5 is not working either..that's on the same computer as the streaming.
i need the rubber ball that is for sale at www.cocoon1.com
it's a ball that u can fit into made of black rubber or latex. ohmigod. i need it. i'm not kidding u it i HAVE to get it. i have to. somehow....
i am a cat, i need a groovy ball that i can crawl inside and hide!
and i need a bunch of other stuff on there too! *drool*

may 10th

7:47p god, i am just shaking. i saw that "asshole pervert" ( not the guy show-u-my-dick guy, the post-MY-address-on-the-bbs guy )...i saw him in the lobby. avtually i saw him in the elevator the other day for the first time and we didn't say i word and i was just shaking. he is like 800 pounds are 7 feet tall. so, just now, i saw him in the lobby and i debated and debated on whether 2 say anoything or not...and so i di...i said "why did u do that? " and he's like "do what?" EXCUSE ME? i said "post my address TWICE on my bbs, hello?" and he DENIES doing this and he DENIES that he ever received an email from me saying do NOT post my address it could endanger my life!" he says he got nothing and now he says it wasn't even him. well, i'm like, i've got your IP addresss, buddy and your EMAIL so i KNOW it was U. IP addresses do not lie. i mean just be a MAN about it and apopologize!!! and he wouldn't! he kept saying i should apologize to HIM! can u believe that??? well i said buddy, u are psychotic and u must have a multiple personaity disorder u fucking woose if u can't even be man about to admit to me that u were wrong and that u put my LIFE in danger. i am just shaking with adrenalin now. FUCK. asshole. fuck. FUCK!!!!! fcukkkkkkkkKKKKKkkk.oisdfkldsngnlsfkslnfk

8:05p i'm working 2 try 2 get the windows media player up and running AGAIN, with erik helping me from herenadnow.net having some jack daniels to calm my nerves. it rained on me as i walked 2 the store but i didn't mind much. i am still very shaky but have somewhat calmed down. i haven't cleaned yet for msnbc. maybe i just won't fuck it. everyone and their mother knows my house is a mess and i'm sitting in my pajamas. i just need some pjs with feet. i want pink with bunny ears. does anyone know where i could get a pair to fir me? i'm 5 foor 2. ior maybe some kitty pajamas would be better. ooo, i'll have 2 sew them myself most likley nad that won't happen any time soon.

8:48p oh my god, what a SPASTIC night. trying 2 configure my dsl so ibeam can pull from it so my stream and ausio can be on hereandnow.net. i called the geek squad ( www.geeksquad.com ) they are from here and will drive out now to help me ( they are 24/7 and totally roxk and dress like the men in black and drive swanky cars, what more could a girl want? well...a lot more..i won't get into it..that was just a catch phrase ) so anyway..called erik..got his machine. augh. waiting to hear back. everyone's waiting. good thing jason went 2 a movie or he's explods. i'm really hungry. augh. so much. peopkle telephones. media. and my cam looks so boring..pictures do NOT say a thousand words., that is such a lie

9:20p ok, the geeksquad are on their way! jason will come home and hopefully go straight 2 sleep as 2 not deal with this chaos! please..energies align! and let peace be here NOW! i am ready! :) time 2 clean REALLY fast!!!!

9:57p i think i am calming down now. by the time the geeksquad guy gets here i'll probably be comatose! i'm listening2 the coctea twins., i cleaned a FEW things, but it was just trickery. i think i'll let the dogs go run in the hallways now 'cause i haven't paid attention to the all day
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Thursday, May 11th, 2000

1:09a http://idirector.media.ibeam.com/netshow/v2/onair/hereandnow/cam21_56k.asx

1:12a that url is anacam with streaming and sound. i'm going to bed soon , so the likelihood it will be interesting is great unless u love looking at a dark room, however, i will soon have a cam with a longer cord and it will be EVERYWHERE! yay! the geeksquad helped me for three hours setting this up! www.geelsquad.com. i just ordered eyes wide shut in pay per view but have missed half already. i never did clean for msnbc. oh well

2:55p so weird, when i stream with the realplayer, my microphone headset works jusst fine! but with the wondows media player it totally sucks and sounds all flanged and phased and keeps making this weird popping sounds like a truck going backwards. AUGH. i don't really have any other microphnes that are good for this sort of thing, but i'm going 2 go try some different ones anyway. i haven't had a phone cal yet from the msnbc guy yet...but i'm sure i'll get one soon. it's soooo grey and damp today. i'm gonna go get a coke. i need one badly

3:29p ok, the usrobotics cam that i am using HAS a built in microphone and i'm using that and that seems to be the vest option for now :) thank god!!! i am glad i have sound now. :) i eed to take a bath and put on some make up and get out of my pajamas. i'm afraid the guy will call when i'm in the tub and i won't eb able 2 answer the phone. but c'est la vie, what else can i do? wish i had take the cam into the bath with me, but this cxam has a very short cord and doesn't go anywhere beyond my desk. but hereandnow are gonna send me another cam with a 60 foot long cord or something...THAT would be VERY cool, 'cause then i can take u everywhere all over my house :)

4:05p ok, i have a mic that works. it's the mic that was IN the cam, usrobotics. i wish i could fond more of this cam, i can't find it anywhere. did they go out of business? the msnbc guy ( can i remember his name? ) is coming over here at 5:30 pm CST. i'm going 2 go take a bath now. i've added "streamcam" 2 the menu of both anacam and ana2, so go there to easily get 2 it :)

4:06p oh, and i little thing that's fun 2 do on the windows media player is to right click on the picture and u can make it bigger. u can make it as big as your whole monitor..of course it'd be pixelated as hell, but it's still fun anyway. later on i will have options for people with faster connections...100K and 300K

4:12p i'm in my chatroom now ...irc.warped net #analove, or u can get 2 it by going to "about this" in the menu and u will find a link to the java chat if u scroll down :)

5:14p i got my period today. i feel all bloated. i can't find any clothes i wanna wear. i can't get the temperature of the room right. i have 20 minutes to find new clothes and put on my make up. i can't find the hat i wanna wear. the simpsond are on tv in the background in case u were wondering. i'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. i'll be fine in a few minutes. i lit some japanese incence

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Friday, May 12th, 2000

1:04a wow, what a day! the busiest days are always the hardest 2 describe! jason needs me now so into the bedroom i go 2 pet his soft curly haired head :) tomorrow the nsnbs guy cme back at 2pm ( his name is brandon ) so much 2 tell u but no time 2 say it

12:33p hi, i'm up :) i see that the computer that has the streaming on it crashed sometime during my sleep, so i'm rebooting it now. i dreamt i was trying 2 get self tanning lotion all over me but it was the wrong colour and i was orange and everyone was making fun of me about how stupid i was. then i found some other lotion o put on top of th eother that made my skin metalic gold and it was very cool. then i started drawing designs all over my body with another shade and people were really amazed, so i started doing designs on people with tanning lotion for a living, but this one woman who ran the salon wanted the designs all for herself and she wanted me to draw on her a shield that would make her powerful. so i was in the process of doing that for her, but i felt that maybe i shouldn't do it, for she would misuse her power. i planned on copying the design and making it available to everyone, but i knew she was scheming in her head a way to stop me from doing that. but i knew she couldn't kill me until i had finished the design, so i did the design verrrrrry slowly. well, i put the streaming back on and hit play...but it's not making a connection to where it has 2 go. hmmm. so i'll write erik and email and tell him about that.

12:38p oh, hey the streaming is back up :)

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Thursday, May 13th, 2000

1:56p wow, i got far too drunk last night! i need food now. i don't think i'll be doing much today, just laying lo 'cause i expended muhco energy in the last 2 days. need 2 relax. no sound today 'cause jaosn is home and we agreed no sound when he is home. so i just have 2 figure out how i can play u cool cds when the sound in the livingroom is off!

2:20p hmmm, i think my dsl went down just now. i can't get connected 2 anything...i'm writing this as a test 2 see if it makes it through

2:26p hmmm, well thaty made it through.....so i guess it's just maybe anacam that's down. my streaming won't run either. odd. who knows. hopefully it will be back up soon. it's REALLY cold here today.it's only 44 degrees with a windchill factor of 14. this weather is making NO sense whatsoever. it's just bizarre. summer winter summer winter. this is definitely the weirdest weather patterns i have ever experienced in this state! i might just get out the space heater. today is a day for snuggling up into a blanket and watching movies! super sleepy grey day. but in a good way almost, 'cause it's perfect for how i feel and now i don't have 2 feel guilty about missing a gorgeous day outside. and yesterday WAS gorgeous. absolutelt perect summer day and i missed the entire thing 'cause i was being interviewed. but i had fun being interviewed, too. that was definitely one of my fave interviews. i hope that whoever will edit it will do a good job

2:39p hmm, everything is connecting now EXCEPT for the stuff on computer 2 , which has cam5 on it and the streaming :( i'll reboot it and see if that helps. erk.

2:54p i'm cleaning up the house. the wind of howling through my windows. i'm sad that i can't get the streaming to work today :( and last night i broke my hello kitty cup :( that's the second one now that i've owned that was broken. i have 2 go on ebay AGAIN and i hope i'll find another 'cause that my very favourite cup :((

3:09p i'm sorting through THOUSANDS of campic from yesterday 2 make a new anagram. this will take me all day. jason just bought a frozen pizza :)

4:28p brandon the msnbc guy is coming over at 5:30pm CST 2 egt a little more footage of me. we didn't get any footage yesterday of me pointing out my website and explaining what all the pages were about, archives, sleep station, analog, etc. i am SO NOT in a social mood today. i am so opposite of what i was yesterday. i just want 2 lay down and watch movies. i'm hung over and i have my period and i feel just awful and now i'm nervous on top of it. trying 2 get dressed again and whip myself into some sort of presentable form. ack.

9:09p the msnbc guy left. i am so tired. i am sooooooo tired. that's all i can say. i'm going 2 go wrap myself in blankets and crawl into bed and watch movies soon. must recharge my batteries both physically and mentally

10:21p i bought a new hello kitty cup on ebay, and this one is PLASTIC so i can't break it like i broke my other two! question: has anyone here signed up for paypal.com? is so , what do u think of it?

10:23p i'll try 2 get the new anapix up soon. deiter is running around crazed with a squeaky toy. i am finally hungry and i'm going 2 go scrounge up some fodd, then go 2 bed

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Thursday, May 14th, 2000

12:26a there is this amazing latex online store that ee pointed out 2 me, but i really wanna know what they mean by ML colour HL colour 25 colours 35 colors i don't it! i want SO much on there but MOST off is what i want is this gigantic inflatable ball that u can go inside! HEAVEN!!!!! it's $880 bucks *whew* but i REALLY musy have it!!! i love to enclose myself into tint places ( cardboard boxes, closets, under the covers, etc. it calms me down and i feel safe so here i find this BALL, so not only does it fulfill my fetish for latex, but also for ORBS, AND i can go inside of it and just hide for while! what more could i want???? then there is this divine catsuit number FW4 ( i'd choose red) and the corset BL2B ( black) and the vacuum bed! ( semi transparent ) and the raincoat ( totally transparent ) oh drooooooool and the full length dress : D921 mostly i want the ball, #1 and 2nd i want that corset! help. need .want. must. have . ball. must have . it now....

12:20p oh, duh the url to that is: www.cocoon1.com

12:58p i don't think much will happen today 'cause i am just soooooo drained and tired and my stoche is gurgly. i have my oven on ( electric ) for heat. cold windy day. time to make some scrambled eggs and tea , then i'm going into my chatroom ( irc.warped.net #analove) hi to all u moms out there :) i'll be seeing mine soon :)

12:59p ummm. stoche=stomach. typo-rama

2:21p searching through my thousands of pix i saved, again, picking out the best ones for an anagram. i was going to do this yesterday but then the interview went into a third day