anagram050900
planetconcrete.com
are such good sleepers!
a pic from artvamp's
show last night :)
hmmmmm.
edge's recipe for a pear
sandwhich! YUMMY!
"I had the urge
today to turn some of this cinnamon raisin bread into french toast, for lunch/breakfast...
So I did, and the urge to put cheese on it followed (ever have a monty cristo?),
so I sliced some from this huge ball of Edam (or is it Gouda? I forget) that
I got for Christmas. But it still needed something... And lo and behold, what
did I have ripening on my counter but a couple of beautiful d'anjou pears!
Wallah! Pear Sandwich.I'm
expect most of you will think I'm out of my mind, but I just had to share...
:^)" --edges
if u don't go over 2 vera little's
site
and buy summa her cool as fuq magnets, i'm gonna hafta slap ya!
and page 12 has been
added to BOOK
and here's an article i'm in! :
http://www.newartexaminer.org/0400_onview.html
things
we do in #analove ( irc.warped.net) when we've lost our minds :)
the silly sound
game
the silly fuck game
in anarchy, the public forum, sometimes we use drive by posters to bring out
our abilities to write a collective silly story :) some guy named B00zy started
us off with his ridiculous post called "TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!" then
the body of the message said "now." so sad. but we turned a stupid
thing into a happy thing:
story version a
story version b
things i wrote in "read my mind"
Monday, May
8th, 2000
12:22a new angram on ana2 up and new analog on anancam up. and btw, cinnamon
altoids rock. thank u 2 all who were listening 2 me ramble about and and u
bed time stories via the realplayer , that was so much fun :))))
11:36a i'm up! i got up at 11am! yay :) i am soooo groggy , tho. my dreams
were sooooo detailed and intense i can't even write them down because it gives
me a stomache ache. i feel like my body is still back in my dreams..i haven't
made it all the way into the waking state yet. it's only 67 degrees today
but it feels colder because it's soo damo and humid and grey. ergh. not exactly
weather that'll perk me up. it was too hot, now it's too dampish and coldish.
i wanna move to california!
12:41p did the dishes, took out the trash, put in a load of laundry. now,
even tho emulive is working agaon...i have the realplayer streaming going
'cause i can have sound with that and i wanna play around with that. i am
torn now between speaking and typing because if i speak i won't type and i
prefer to type because that way it can be recorded for "all time".
someday when i can afford it, i will speak but have someone typing out everything
i say,like how they do in court. i always wondered how that typing machine
works. i know it's lie shorthand, but i don't et shorthand either..i don't
know how a person could type all that out. what do u call that job? the court
reporter?
i needed just one more nickel 2 get a pop, and i searched hi and lo 4 it and
finally found one. jason leaves change all over everywhere, so i'm constantly
picking it up and putting it in my chinese kitty bank. u knw the one where
the cat is raising it's paw? when i bought it i asked the woman what it said
on the bank and she said" really...really...money" so i put pennies
in my really really money cat bank that is now on top of the refrigerator.
i have the secret agent man theme song in my head right now.
i was going to have all naked all week in celebration that it was too hot
to wear clothes. but then i remembered i can't be naked on the realplayer
streaming. so i was gonna wait until emulive is back up. now emulive is back
up, but it's not hot! now i remembered i can't do it anyway because MSNBC
is coming here thursday, friday, saturday.
i better get cleaning more or they will trip over everything.
1:23p there is a documentary about teh history of electronic music on sundance
right now called 'modulations" but it is more about the history of techno
ang jungle than the reeeeaaally old stuff. i'm taping it. i ate some kippers
and i'm making noodles.
2:34p i'm running out of steam already. grey days make me so sleepy. was that
genesis p. orridge i saw in that 'modulations" thing, with gold teeth
looking like a woman in that grey bob? strange! i have so many ideas i want
2 type out right now and tell u about because i want 2 know if anyone could
help me on osme stuff, but i'm too tired now to type it. noodles added 2 my
sleepiness. i'll ask this tho...what do u think would be the best kind of
microphone to pick up very ambient sounds like dogs drinking out of their
water bowl and dripping faucets...and would only pick up that sound and not
everything in the whole room? also, is their an effect that automatically
makes the sound backwards? i think i want 2 use sound in my house as a musical
ambient piece, rather than " here i am talking to u" although i
will do the talking thing when i feel up to being social ( like last night
) but if i just talked a lot, i know i would never type or write, and that
would be a bad thing, to me. i have a love/hate relationship with streaming
video and sound. i don't think i am very interested in showing everyone "how
it is exactly" . i WAS trying to show that in beginning of my cam, but
when it became clear to me that te more information i gave, the more people
would project upon it and distort it. i pretty much gave up ( sort of ). i
know u will never know EXACTLY how i feel/think/am. i am becoming at peace
with that. and since i already am living things "as they are" ,
i don't find it very interesting to be exact. it's impossible to be exact.
so i play with my surroundings. make it blue, red, bkackwards, cut it up,
shrink it, enlarge it, twist it. 'cause that's fun. :) that's what i want
2 do with sound. i'm not very interested in just broadcastings sounds "as
they are" . i wanna play with it. create it into something new. find
a new way to look at the same old thing, find a new way to hear my environment.
that is what interests me.
4:20p ok, i added tons more anamates into the anamate section of ana2 :) i
am feeing really nervous today.
4:23p btw, there is a very interesting conversation about privacy and surveillance
going on right now on the anarchy bbs (http://www.fetik3.com/bbs/ana.html)
4:52p downloading the latest version of webcam32. took 2 xanax. jason should
be home soon. i feel discontent. i'm nervous about msnbc coming here bcause
i am feeling so gross
4:54p i have 2 reboot my computer so cam 5 and the streaming will be off for
a few minutes. i wish i had some chocolate milk
5:06p well, i have the new version of webcam32 but i do not see an option
to cycke images at all! is that not an option with the newest version?
5:09p now i'm downloading mirc on computer #2 so i can dcc myself some files
off of there!
5:47p i've heard that someone made a programme that u can access somewhere
on the web...that all it does is search for wav files then plays them randomly..so
this thing is just constantly playing themm...has anyone heard about that
or knwo where this is?
5:57p i'm in my chatroom trying 2 figure stuff out. irc.warped.net #analove
( with irc www.mirc.com or ircle www.ircle.com or go into the about this /anatomy
section and there's a link to the java chat
8:58p i'm still in chat but i have gone in search of carbonated beverages.
this is important.
11:45p there are so many people in my chatroom right now, it's nuts! we are
playing "the fuck game". that is where u HAVE to use the word fuck
in every sentence or be kicked. it's jolly good fun!
11:53p i'm going 2 read a bedtime story to ana2.com soon...i'm not sure when
yet...but if you're up late and have realplayer..stayed tuned :) what is your
fave bedtime story and why?
---------
Tuesday, May 9th, 2000
12:01a ok, i'm not in the chatroom anymore, i mean, i'm IN there..but i'm
not paying attention at the moment i have little ana-mations to make and i
have to calm down i am HYPER. i need to start getting in ther frame of mind
to sleep 'caus i have to get on a regular schedule, at lleast just for this
week!
12:53a ah, it was so wonderful 2 FINALLY get those jfx files i saved from
emulive and get then onto computer 2 make them into mpegs! now i'm all "stream-friendly"
feeling all happy about it. iso many little silly moments captured i'm all
smiley. i'm gonna call erik from hereandnow.net and see what he's up to.
4:07a ok, i cannot do a bedtime story tonight 'cause it's now 4am. i have
been talking 2 erik for...forever and he talks faster than i do , which is
quite an amazing feat! we are working on getting streaming working with the
realmedia player and i'm going 2 leave that on right now because the tech
guy isn't around right now and he has 2 add my ip into it 2 get it 2 werk.
so i'm leaving it running for them. so emulive is off, too. i am so sleepy.
gonna go 2 bed now ( which u know means in another hour ) so much so much
so much that i i wanna do and is almost maybe manifested ) at least a small
part :) so cool :) i'm still turning avi to mp3...soon those will be up. silly
movies of my dogs and i. my chatroom was so full tonight it was so much fun!
we were playing the fuck game, as i said ( and one guy unsubbed because of
it because he did not understand the game...i feel so bad :( ) and we played
the game of making silly noises like "dee diddly do wa" or "boing
boing sproing frip!" everyone making cartoon noises. it's been a good
day even tho technologically frustrating. tomorrow is a cleaning day. clean
clean clean. g'nite u frootcakes :) heart u much :)
4:32a here's an article that mentions me and many other of my friend's cams
: yay! http://www.newartexaminer.org/0400_onview.html
say yet. still waking up. i'm uploading more anmates. jason is home today
and he ordered a pizza which should arrive soon :) how are u today?
4:12p i feel really nervous and overwhelmed today. stomache ache, headache.
i am nervous about having so many things happening to me at once. although
they are not happening all at once to me NOW...but me being nervous..i get
nervous BEFORE they happen. it's ridiculous. i wish i could logically stop
it. the msnbc thing coming up, and doing streaming at hereandnow, and some
more interviews, and friends wanting to get together, and my family wanting
to get together...and everything i want to do and all the things i SHOULD
do or "have" to do. it's all too much for me today so i'm trying
2 get grounded to stop my nervousness. a bubblebath would help, but even that
is too much work. i just want to go back into bed and pull the covers around
me and hide for awhile. i can't even watch tv ..it's too much. maybe i'll
be fine in an hor or so. i don't know. the air conditioner is working now
( sort of ) but the sound of it drives me crazy, and the humming of the computers
and the dsl hub, it drives me mad. it's time to put on my headphones from
the sharper image where it blocks out low end by playing u this high end frequency
that u cannot hear. it's an odd feelong because u can FEEL that higher frequency.,..it
kind of feels liuke when your ears are popping in an airplane. jaosn doesn't
like it. he says it "the ludest silence he's ever heard" but i don't
mind it. it's kind of freaky and it does help a bit! i just gotta get the
ear protection headphones that u wear when u go out to shoot guns. are the
kind the guys wear that direct that airplanes into their ports.
5:05p i'm gonna type out some of my old journals now some more. that is one
small thing i can handle right now. starting with 10.08.90 11:00pm.....
7:09p it's weird typing out these journal entries which are about me having
an anxiety attack and a headache when i am also having an anxiety attack and
a headache as i type it! which made me FAR more anxious. so I had to lie down
and have jason pat my head. So many patters I have not broken free from yet.
But some I have. It makes me wonder how possible it s too ever really CHANGE,
no matter how much u want to. but I'm not going to give up. That is why I'm
typing these out so I can really SEE these patterns and finally put a bullet
through them. a strange process.
7:16p here is something for ya if u can see mp3s: ../simp/Documents/anamate/noreason.m1v
9:06p page 12 added to "book" section in menu. gonna go watch tv
now and mellow out
10:23p the normal streaminb is off for the night again and the window media
streaming is on ( but u can't see it yet) hopefull the tech guy will make
it so u can see soom :) but i'm gonna go 2 bed soon and watch the movie "polyester
:)
-------
Wednesday,
May 10th, 2000
5:33 pm ok, i had a wrong link on the book section anacam . sorry! page 12
is now accessable
5:01 pm i went through the #analkove logs and saved "the silly sound
game" and "the fuck game" to put in th enext anagram and analog.
and i put that long hilarious story everyone wrote on anarchy and got it in
a readable version :) now i'm sorting through campix. good discussions are
happening "under the bed" and in "anarchy" today..those
are the forums on ana2 and anacam. u can get to them by going to the menu
at either site :)
3:37 pm http://www.overseaspharmacyconnection.com/ please check this out and
tell me what u think! buying valium legally without a prescription??
3:34 pm posted posted, deleted hundreds of emails from my inbox. found out
the show i'm "playing" at at first ave is may 24th. that's a wednesday.
they are gonna project my cam inage into a wall and i can talk to people via
a speech synthesizer :) i ate a piece of cold pizza. i wasn't nervous but
now i am again when i saw i was playing soonn. they told me it was in june,
but now it's only a few weeks away. good thing it doesn't take much preparation
on my part! but still, my stomchae hurts now. i don't know why! i guess i
just hope people aren't thinking i will be there in person doing music and
show up nad be pissed because that's not what ill be doing. well, it's up
to the concert promoters to let the public know. didn't clean yet. i'm still
loving cinnamon altoids. i'm gonna go look through my pix that i had aloecam
grab last night from artvamps show ( www.artvamp.com )
1:55 pm i'm up i'm up! :) reading email and the forums and now i;m adding
and deleting people 2 my mailing list. it's actually cold in here today. today
i MUST clean, at least a little bit! 'acuse the msnbc guy is coming over here
tomorrow. funny that they are only sending one person to do camera, lights
and interview all in one! but hey, that makes it simpler for having deal with
only one personality instead of 3. i am less nervous today, i don't know why.
it's really grey out. i'm drinking a fresca. i always have to have carbonated
beverages when i wake it. it makes my mouth feel better :) i read an article
that says it is OK to take the birth control pill to stop having your periods
from ever coming at all. i think that sounds creepy
------------
extra posts:
i'm not going to go into detail about this..because i've exhausted this subject already a trillion times. but the brain is an organ that is PHYSICAL. just as diabetics take medicine to not die, there are some of us who do not have blood sugar imbalances but OTHER very PHYSICAL chemical imbalances that are treatable with drugs. and of copurse each person is their own unique situation so that was not meant to be a blanket statement, as yours was. i know you mean well, but you are really not coming from a place of knowledge from all angles on this topic.