anagram042502
a little song

[22 Apr 2002|05:00pm]
i've been getting weird sleep. i sleep for 4 hours then up for two hours, then back to sleep for two hours then up for 4 hours. i feel topsy turvy. and it's cold in here.

but i received some gorgeous tropical flowers from a friend today as a belated birthday present and they are making my room smell yummy! :) i put them on top of the tv along with my pear collection :)

i boiled some eggs awhile ago, and i'm gonna have a few of those now :) it's kind of a day in limbo

no...i'm gonna cook some chicken. tandoori spice :)

[24 Apr 2002|04:08pm]
well, it's always nice to be awakened by special agents knocking on your door from the united states department of treasury and being given a summons to appear later to be assessed for tax evasion.
ah yes. lovely.
is my life some sort of weird twin peaks-like soap opera?
they made me turn my cam away "for my protection" (??) and they did not like my muzzle wumpets.

and the wind is really whipping through my windows 'causing cold air to be blasted through the cracks and shaking things in my house.

but i have doglets. as long as i have my pupsters, i'll be ok.

[24 Apr 2002|11:40pm]
tonight's "amazing race" kicked ass :) and i'm glad they had a survivor show summarizing everything that has happened so far 'cause i had missed a few shows.

[25 Apr 2002|08:07am]
i had terrible dreams about having my throat slit. being used in a ritualistic murder by marilyn manson. i knew i was going to be murdered the day before and i kept telling everyone but they didn't take me seriously especially because i told them marilyun manson was going to do it. i had resigned myself that this was something i could not get out of and would definitely happen. i saw it happen in my mind over and over again...how he would slit my throat and then take me to this underground concrete place and lay out a white table cloth and then watch me bleed with great delight. he loved the patterns my blood made in the white cotton cloth as it bled from me. he also had a female with him who helped him and also enjoyed this.
as the time grew nearer, i panicked and thought maybe i COULD get out of this...so i ran and ran and ran...then i saw the future like a short documentary style info thing...like those little movies that they would show you in science class to explain things. the narrator, who was a person from the government, was detached and cold with only a slight interest in me, the subject...who was in the future a beaten down man folded on top of a ironing board that was also folded.he/ i was stuck to the ironing board almost like i had rusted to it. the narrator wasn't talking to me tho, he was talking to another man who also had only slight interest in the subject in that "well, look that that..oh btw, let's get some coffee" kind of way.

they both agreed that i didn't have long to live in that condition. that i had been so utterly scared i would surely die very soon.that's the way it happened in all these cases, and it was all said and agreed upon with about as much interest as a passing cloud.

then i was this future man huddled and rusted to an ironing board in some unknown hallway or attic. withering away. i decided that it would have been better to have had my throat slit for a ritualistic murder than to live in fear the way i had trying to escape my fate. so, to try and undo what i did...i went back to the spot i was supposed to have been murdered and i slit my own throat and laid myself down on a white table cloth there to bleed to death.

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it's 32 degrees with 36 mph gusting winds that are shaking and rattling my windows and blowing in lots of cold air. i got up and put on two scarves and got two extra blankets. brrrr...back to bed i go....

[25 Apr 2002|01:58pm]
thank you to the person who sent me the rose oil :) yummy!!! :)

[25 Apr 2002|05:19pm]
been working on tax stuff all day. sorting, looking, compiling.
the sun finally came out for a bit to add some cheer to an otherwise very dull day :)

[25 Apr 2002|10:12pm]
i can't stop listening to bjork's song "all is full of love". i play all the remixes over and over. it is so comforting to me.
i have my health, and no one can take my art away from me. i can make art out of nothing. as long as i have a pencil or pen and a piece of paper, i'm alright. or i can draw in sand or on my arm...or in my head.
i have jason, i have pupsters, i have love, and i have my mind and my body
i can draw, i can sing, i can dream, i can dance

when "tragedy" strikes it makes you reevaluate and redefine. i reevaluate and redefine almost hourly...

i have center. i have god. i have my soul. i have love.

all i really need is the sun....and...that lamp...and...that thermos....and that plant...and...that computer...and thaty lifesize stuffed giraffe from fao schwartz...