anagram 040502

		hi :)

[02 Apr 2002|09:24am]
you'd never know it was april here. it's still snowing and the trees are heavy and white with snow. it's so pretty but it just depresses me because i want dandelions and i want to go for a walk and feel warm air going up my dress! argh.
instead i'm all bundled up in here, all the windows closed and feeling sleepy and crampy with my period.
i want to rip all the plastic insulation off my windows...open them all up and let warm spring air come crashing in. i want new leaves peaking through and tiny blades of grass. i want robins and then soon after lilacs! i want to go to dairy queen on my scooter with jason! i want to go scavenging around train tracks and go on secret missions.
i want fresh fruit and plum and cherry season!
i wanna learn how to drive my car!

what i want for my birthday! [02 Apr 2002|10:47am]
people are asking me what i want for my birthday :) 2 things:
#1
firstly, plain and simple: MONEY! :) i need money to buy food and pay rent and dr. bills!
you can give me money by buying you or your friends gift memberships to ana2.com! this way everyone wins! i get money and you and your friends get ana2! :) this makes me the most happy because i love more people to know what is inside ana2 AND i need money! :) by clicking here you can get to the page where you can buy gift memberships to ana2. these are nonrecurring billing memberships :)

you can also send me money via paypal, my paypal user ID is ana@voog.com
you can buy ana2.com memberships this way too! very easy and fast and so many options on how to send it!

or you can send money orders or personal cheques to:

ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175

and get ana2 that way , too!

or you can buy ana2 the way most people do, with your credit card at this secure location:
http://www.ana2.com

i just want people to join ana2.com for my birthday! this is the BEST present to EVER get me for any reason because that way i feel fulfilled because i am sharing something cool with new people AND i get money! yes! :)

if you have a total aversion for some reason to joining ana2 or giving your friends memberships to ana2 then my second choice is:
#2
get me some bath bombs or luxury bath melts or other yummy bath things from LUSH! :) and the lotion called potion sounds awfully yummy , too! ( click here to go there )

i can ALWAYS use bath stuff and i haven't tried anything from this store yet and i am curious as all get out as to what their stuff is all about 'cause i've heard so many good things about this store and from what i've seen, it sounds marvelous to me! :)
and nice yummy baths make me happy, and if you are a member of ana2, they probably make you happy, too :) happy ana+ happy bath things=happy bath campix :)
i couldn't ever possibly have TOO much happy bath things :) it's just impossible. this will always make my day no matter what.

totally broke and can't afford any of that? send me a cool rock or shell or weird rusty thing that you found on the ground. i like weird things that people find when scavenging the ground. or send me 60 cents :) that'll buy me a coke. and i always need a coke :)

and if you are extra super rich and want to get me my dream present:
i want the life sized stuffed animal giraffe or zebra from fao schwartz
or a real doll from realdoll.com :) the asian one :)

so there you have it! that is what i want for my birthday, which is on the 18th of april. and i will be 36!!! :)

i want to make a book. a BIG book. [02 Apr 2002|12:38pm]
i want to turn anacam/ana2 into a book along the lines of the book "digital diaries" by natacha merritt. if anyone has any suggestions as in: do you know someone who would publish it? should i self publish it? how in the heck would i edit such a thing? how would i put it together? are you or do you know someone who is a professional in this area who could help me put assemble and edit and put together and promote this thing?
please email me at ana101@hotmail.com if you have some serious professional advice. thank you :)

[02 Apr 2002|11:41pm]
congratulations to scottbateman who won the Toonie award for Best Editorial Cartoonist, beating out Newsweek's favorite cartoonist, Mike Luckovich. go scott go!!!

i rented:

focus
rockstar
velvet goldmine
when the wind blows

ana2.com:
cam4 is boob tv!
cam2 is bald tv!
fizuckizin the shizit up!
new anagram 0402 up

the most recent episode of the osbournes kicked ass :)

today i see my psychologist, i'm pretty sure. i didn't write it down so i don't know what time. i left a message on her machine.

i was having the most intense dreams. and i can't remember much now. i do remember now looking for my mother in a sea of houses. she said she lived in 107.

ooo, also strange animals and birds were in my dreams. i remember crawling under electric barbed wire to get two birds that were very dr. seuss. drfardook lifted the wire up for me. i wanted them for my pond. i saw a dead buffalo half buried in a hill. i remembered it from another dream and was surprised to see it had not at all rotted since last time.

i often visit the same places in my dreams. i could map out an entire city where i go. i could map out entire elaborate houses and churches where i go. i always remember them in my dreams that i have been to these places before...yet i can never remember in a dream that i'm DREAMING...so i have not had a lucid dream yet, but i want to VERY much and think that if i could do that i would greatly benefit to finally have control over my dreams and effect the outcomes.

i'm working on that. firstly, consciously, i need to get really clear on HOW i want to change these dreams. when i am faced with such and such...what would i truly like to do about it? i'm going to figure this out then write it down. then at least i have a PLAN for when i lucid dream. maybe even the fact of figuring out what i want to do and writing it down will effect my dreams. i think it will.

writing things down is a very powerful thing. and i think writing things down in handwriting into paper is by far more effective than typing it. thsi seems to be the case so far. i don't know why.

it's only 23 degrees here right now...but acciring to weather.com it's going to be 60 degrees on tuesday and wednesday!

ah, my psychologist just called and my appointment is on FRIDAY at 3:30. duh. i sure was off.

skin of glass [03 Apr 2002|11:09am]
ok, this is a complex question...i am wanting to learn how to photoshop ( or whatever other programme ) a picture of me in the nude...turning my skin to look like it is made of glass...or that there is a fine coat of glass on top of my skin that causes me to look like i am made out of glass or very very shiny plastic or rubber. i don't want to look just shiny or oily...i want to be reflective and android-like. i want it to look as real as possible and not cheesy.
i am looking for pictures on the internet or elsewhere that i can show what i mean...i'm still looking. and i want also to know if you or someone you know knows how to do this and could teach me how or if there is a turorial somewhere on this or if i just have to figure it out on my own or something....

i have this picture in my mind for the past few years that i really want to do...and i want to make myself look like i am a very shiny plastic or glass doll.

i could perhaps cover myself in clear liquid latex and thenm spray myself with a shiny substance...but that is a huge pain in the ass...so i'm wondering if it could just be done with effects and how hard is it to learn to do something like that?

and that's just a fraction of my bills...but those are the ones that needed immediate attention.
SO...that leaves me with 90 bucks to my name...which doesn't exactly pay for my psychologist i see tomorrow. ack.

PLEASE GOD, SEND MONEY! THANK YOU! AMEN! :)

[04 Apr 2002|02:14pm]
gonna get to the bank now and put in a few stray cheques i have laying around. that should help a tiny bit! whatadaywhatadaywhataday :)

[05 Apr 2002|01:48pm]
i'm going to be ok.
i refuse to ruin my beautiful life over a fucking martini.

[05 Apr 2002|06:38pm]
thank you everyone for your outpouring of love, understanding ,compassion and support. it is very healing to me and i am honoured and so damn lucky to have so many beautiful kind caring friends :) i told my psychologist and i almost starting crying because i am so touched. but i am so exhausted i cannot even cry. i am going to go lay in bed with the pup-o-lupacusses now and watch a movie or maybe just fall asleep.
to my friends i have not emailed back....know i will get to you! i'm just so tired.